Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death

In this deeply personal chapter, Yalom examines his lifelong relationship with death through a series of formative experiences and meaningful relationships. The chapter serves as both memoir and psychological exploration, demonstrating how death awareness has shaped his worldview and therapeutic approach.

Yalom traces his first confrontation with death to childhood, when a cat named Stripy was killed by a car. This initial experience introduced him to feelings of helplessness and the finality of death. More significant was the death of a classmate known only as L.C., an albino boy who simply disappeared from school one day. The teacher’s minimal explanation and the subsequent silence surrounding L.C.’s absence left a profound impression. Yalom notes how this memory remains exceptionally vivid while other childhood experiences have faded, suggesting the psychological impact of this early exposure to human mortality.

During adolescence, Yalom befriended Allen Marinoff, a boy with a heart defect who died at fifteen. These experiences with death coincided with Yalom’s discovery of an E. E. Cummings poem about Buffalo Bill that introduced him to the personification “Mister Death,” a term he has used throughout his life. The author suggests these early encounters fundamentally shaped his understanding that mortality is universal and inescapable.