Sunburn

“I knew that Martin would be at the altar in his suit, and I would be there in my white dress, and so it would just look right. I used to plan it so that when he said ‘Amen,’ I would kiss him, and then we would be married. My most plain and easy dream; I don’t even think anybody would have been too upset with me if I had kissed him. It would probably have been funny and well-remembered.”

Lucy’s plan to kiss Martin includes imagery that reinforces gender norms, such as Martin’s suit and Lucy’s dress. This fantasy functions as an early example of Lucy imagining herself safely within a heteronormative narrative, a “harmless” script that shields her from suspicion. These details further reinforce the heteronormative acceptance in the final lines, in which the kiss would be “funny” and “well-remembered.” This speculation contrasts with the later scene of her mother catching her with Susannah, which transforms affection from something publicly celebrated into something shameful and dangerous, underscoring the theme of The Challenge of Identity in Small Communities.

“She took her eucharist before me, and I quietly apologised to Jesus for the downgrade from her tongue to mine. It was a feeling of deep shame which I still don’t understand. Martin was then the last thing on my mind. As was our kiss. As was marriage. My interest in that has never really resurfaced with the same fervour. Sometimes I wish it would.”

Lucy’s obsession with Susannah often takes on a religious tone, as seen in this passage when Lucy feels ashamed to follow Susannah during the eucharist. The kiss with Martin and marriage are more religious in nature, but Lucy’s focus quickly switches to Susannah, emphasizing how her attraction to Susannah is not “evil.” Though Lucy struggles with the idea of “sin,” the association of Susannah with religion indicates that loving Susannah is good. The contrast reframes LGBTQ+ love as pure and transcendent, challenging the morality that fuels Crossmore’s heteronormative expectations.