Elyse counts in her head, distracted by her discomfort as she leans against the clothes in the back of a dark closet. She wonders if her shoes smell and thinks the ticking from her wristwatch is too loud. She and her friend Marley are in the closet together, playing Seven Minutes in Heaven during a party. She considers pretending to be sick in order to escape this social situation, but she knows that Marley would be able to tell if she were lying; he knows her facial expressions too well.

She is surprised that Marley enjoys being her friend as much as she enjoys being his, and she does not want to jeopardize that by kissing him. She likes him but believes that he is fond of their mutual friend, Isabella. Trying to break the awkward tension between them, she makes a joke, suggesting that he would prefer to be in the closet with Isabella and that she herself would not be on his list of choices at all. Marley retorts that she could be every name on his list.

Elyse feels fear and joy, but she decides that he is joking. Nervously, she rambles about Isabella and suggests that Marley should talk to her as soon as they get out of the closet. Suddenly, Marley makes a facial expression that is unfamiliar to her, and she feels as though she is looking at a stranger. Fighting against panic, she focuses on the coats behind her and the sound of her watch ticking.

Marley looks deflated, and Elyse feels as though she has done something wrong, though she does not know what. She believes that she has “stuck to the script [and has] delicately measured every single word, interaction, and accidental touch” (36) to make sure that she did not give away the fact that she likes him. Now, however, she fears that Marley can discern her romantic interest anyway and will mock her to their friends.

Marley says that he thought she felt the same way he did. She asks if he means that they are friends. He says that is not what he meant. She feels confused and overwhelmed. She asks what he meant, and on the page, the words are repeated in jumbled text, extending down the full length of page 39. Suddenly, the door opens.

Elyse and her friend Sophie lie together in Sophie’s bedroom, talking about boys. Sophie talks about her boyfriend, Greg, who is a senior in high school and is three years older. He gave Sophie a pack of cigarettes. Elyse internally panics over her shock at the realization that her best friend smokes cigarettes. Fearing that Sophie must be hiding other things from her as well, she grows jealous of an imaginary host of other friends whom she supposes must know Sophie much better than she does.

Sophie invites Elyse outside to smoke a cigarette. They sneak outside and walk far from the house so that Sophie’s parents will not smell the smoke. The pack of cigarettes is still in its plastic wrapper. As Sophie opens it and lights the cigarette awkwardly, Elyse is comforted by the thought that Sophie is still “her person” (43) and clearly does not have other friends with whom she secretly smokes.

Sophie sucks in the cigarette smoke and makes a disgusted face. Then she offers the cigarette to Elyse, who refuses. Even so, Elyse is surprised to realize that she likes the smell of the smoke wafting around them. She decides that she will “never tell a soul how much [she] like[s] the smell of Sophie’s cigarette” (44). On the next page, an isolated hand drawing of a cigarette and a lighter accompany the words, “I have broken this promise many times” (45).

In fragmentary free-verse poetry, a narrator describes the joy and responsibility of being the object of a child’s belief. A child gives a person their belief to hold, believing that “you are Everything You Say You Are” and will do “Everything You Say You Will Do” (46). This belief is wonderful, all-consuming, and endless, but it is also heavy.

The narrator warns that eventually such a belief becomes too much to carry because no person is “worthy of such perfect, and […] sacred Belief” (47). Then “she” (the child) will take back her belief, relieving that adult of the burden. Now, there will be room for questions, and the child will ask hers first.

Elyse is sitting in class at the community college when the boy who sits behind her asks for a pen. He stinks of coffee and marijuana. She does not want to give him a pen because each color has a specific purpose in her new note-taking system, which she devised in hopes that it will help her to understand “what is going on” (60).

She gives the boy her blue pen, and when he starts chewing on it, she objects. He teases her, saying that she is overreacting about the pen, and tears fill her eyes.

She had hoped that community college would be her chance to reset her life. During high school, she never made friends without the help of others, often inheriting them from her brothers or bonding collectively through school groups like orchestra. She wants college to be different. So far, however, this has not happened. Realizing with sudden clarity that she is lonely, she feels a panic attack coming on and packs her belongings to leave in the middle of the class. She sits on a bench outside as she tries to recall the steps her therapist gave her for handling a panic attack.

Suddenly, the boy from class sits beside her and introduces himself as Landon. He talks to her as she calms from her panic attack. He lightly teases her, but she feels bullied and storms away. She fears that her attempt at a “Factory Reset” (57) has not worked, and she believes that she will never be good at making friends. She also fears that her teachers were right to tell her she “wasn’t made for school” (59).

Landon follows her, apologizing and explaining that his older brother also has panic attacks and usually feels better when Landon makes him laugh. He invites her to get breakfast with him. They drive to a nearby restaurant and order breakfast burritos. Landon comments on the precise way Elyse unwraps and eats her burrito, and she explains that she has OCD. To her surprise, he does not comment further. A full-page illustration demonstrates Elyse’s specific method for unwrapping and eating a burrito (66).

Landon tells Elyse funny stories while they eat. Elyse suddenly announces that this is not a date. She says that she needs to explain because she has “a unique skill of ending up on dates without knowing it [because] people can be so vague” (69). Landon assures her that he did not think it was a date, but he does say that he would like to be friends. He explains that he always made friends through his siblings and has had difficulty making friends in college. Elyse is shocked that he so accurately mirrors her own feelings. They agree to be friends, and she looks forward to seeing him in class next week.