The authors view spirituality as a support for happiness in addition to setting priorities, cultivating self-control, and developing positive mental states. The Dalai Lama separates spirituality from religion, noting that religion can have multiple forms since people differ in temperament and needs. Therefore, he emphasizes respect for all major religions, noting that if they are used as daily guidance (rather than just an idea), they can provide an ethical framework, inspiration, and inner strength. He recommends that religion promote harmony and avoid becoming a means of separation.

Next, the authors redefine “spiritual practice” as mainly a type of mental training, as opposed to simply a set of outwardly observable rituals. Although the Dalai Lama believes that prayer has value, he refers to it mostly as a means of reminding oneself of fundamental principles of compassion, forgiveness, and non-harm. He recommends short, formal practice sessions whenever possible, but notes that one can practice anytime by being aware of one’s thoughts and choosing not to act out of anger or hate. In this view, practicing spirituality is an ongoing process of applying ethics, rather than an infrequent ceremony.

The Dalai Lama explains that Buddhist training has gradual results, which include developing a greater sense of calm, more emotional stability, and a broader sense of compassion, even toward those who would harm others. Cutler cites stories of imprisoned monks to reinforce the idea that a spiritual outlook can help individuals endure suffering and retain both purpose and composure. In addition, the authors examine the findings of research indicating that religious faith often corresponds to higher levels of subjective well-being and can contribute to coping and physical health. However, the authors note that faith alone is not sufficient to ensure peacefulness; when combined with hate or rigid identity, faith can generate aggression.

To make basic spirituality accessible to people regardless of their specific beliefs, the Dalai Lama emphasizes “basic spirituality”—the universal values of kindness, compassion, care, tolerance, and forgiveness. He asserts that these qualities are important for everyone, regardless of faith, because they help people maintain interpersonal relationships and diminish internal turmoil. The chapter provides instructions for a stillness meditation, which is intended to quiet the mind and reveal its inherent clarity by focusing on the breath and being fully attentive.

The authors conclude the book by balancing the psychology of habituated mind-training with faith-based supports (such as meaning, belonging, and hope). In addition to applying to nonreligious readers, this “remind” approach to practicing the skills that the authors recommend and the focus on restraint throughout each day easily translates into secular concepts of mindfulness and value-based behavioral changes, while also illustrating the possibility that any type of spiritual identification (whether religious or secular) can lead to harm if it loses sight of compassion.

Chapter Lessons

• Respect diverse belief systems while practicing your own values consistently in daily life.
• Treat spirituality as mind-training by noticing impulses and choosing restraint in real time.
• Use short daily “reminders” (like prayer, reflection, and journaling) to reinforce compassion and forgiveness.
• Practice stillness meditation by withdrawing attention from past/future rumination and maintaining alert clarity by fully inhabiting the present moment.

Reflection Questions

• Where in your day could you build “basic spirituality” through small choices—such as pausing before a harsh comment, responding with patience, or showing care?
• What form of daily reminder (brief prayer, intention-setting, written values, or a check-in) would keep your principles active when stress or conflict arises?