The Best School Year Ever

“[T]he Herdmans […] were the worst kids in the history of the world. They weren’t honest or cheerful or industrious or cooperative or clean. They told lies and smoked cigars and set fire to things and hit little kids and cursed and stayed away from school whenever they wanted.”

Beth’s hyperbole—“the worst kids in the history of the world”—conveys how very disturbing she finds the Herdman children’s behavior and stresses her belief in the importance of social order. Her listing of qualities the Herdmans lack indicates what Beth herself has been raised to believe good children should be. Because of her beliefs, the petty mischief and minor bullying the Herdmans engage in shocks her to her core. Her comically exaggerated reaction to their behavior as well as the listing of silly details like smoking cigars establishes the text’s lighthearted tone toward the Herdmans.

“When you think of Albert Pelfrey, you think fat […] It’s hard to think anything else, so I would really have to study Albert to find some special personal quality that wasn’t just about being fat.”

Beth’s tone toward Albert’s larger body size reveals a prejudice against fat people and a preference for conformity. She is so distracted by his atypical body size that she cannot even see him as fully human. Miss Kemp’s assignment to come up with compliments for classmates may be unusual, but at least in Beth’s case, it is clearly needed.

“That was his main trouble—having no hair. Here he was, bald as an egg, and Mrs. McCluskey kept rubbing his head with Vaseline to make the hair grow.”

Beth’s commentary about the infant Howard offers characteristically comic details couched in amusing language. The simile “bald as an egg” is a vivid and funny description of Howard’s head, and the detail of Mrs. McCluskey constantly smearing her baby’s head with Vaseline is absurd. That both Beth and the baby’s mother are so focused on his lack of hair is a telling indication of the drive for conformity that characterizes most of the people in Beth’s community.

“A lot of people, like Alice Wendleken’s mother, thought the Herdmans ought to be in jail, kids or not, but I knew that wouldn’t happen.”

Beth’s frustration with the lack of consequences the Herdmans experience for their mischief is clear in her comment that she knows they will not be put in jail: She does not point to the fact that these are neglected minor children who need social services, but rather follows up by explaining that the town’s jail is simply too small. The town’s attitude toward the Herdman children is also clear in this comment, as Beth says that “[a] lot of people” think the children should be imprisoned. Beth specifically points to Mrs. Wendleken, which helps to characterize Alice’s mother as particularly resentful toward and dismissive of the Herdmans. This attitude toward the children reflects the text’s theme of The Danger of Valuing Order Above Compassion.

“That was typical Herdman—there was a lie in it somewhere, but you couldn’t put your finger on where.”

Beth’s wit and frustration both show in her comment about Ollie’s explanation of his actions after Claude got locked in the gas station restroom. She is tired of the Herdman children’s constant lying—and also tired of the struggle to pin down exactly how they are being dishonest. Still, she phases her criticism with wry humor, making it clear that the situation is not terribly serious.

“‘FIREMEN RESPOND TO ANONYMOUS ALARM. CUSTOMERS DESCRIBE WILD ANIMAL.’ My father said at least they got that part right.”

This is the first newspaper headline quote the book shows; newspaper headlines will become a recurring motif after this point. Both the errors in the headline and people’s reactions to these errors contribute to the text’s comic tone. Absurdly, Mr. Santoro objects to being referred to as an “ANONYMOUS” caller, and Beth’s father makes a joke about the “WILD ANIMAL” part of the headline, wryly implying that either one of the Herdmans or their cat is actually a wild animal.

“I just drive by the place once a month, and if they haven’t managed to blow it up or burn it down, I figure they’re all right.”

Miss Philips’s neglect of her responsibility to the Herdman children’s welfare is presented as understandable, and she is presented as a sympathetic character. She recounts an unpleasant first visit to their home, characterizing it as dirty and chaotic, and this sardonic comment immediately follows: juxtaposing the two implies that her choice to do cursory, monthly drive-bys instead of actually going inside and working with the children and their mother is entirely justified. Her humorous phrasing conveys her intelligence and relative sophistication, further justifying her scorn for her young clients.

“‘PARENTS SEEK ACTION’ probably meant Mrs. Wendleken, seeking to get the Herdmans expelled or arrested or something.”

Beth’s interpretation of the newspaper headlines following the incident with the snake at the school demonstrates that the Herdmans are far from her only targets for criticism. Here, she gently ridicules Mrs. Wendleken’s tendency to overreact to the Herdmans. The fact that this incident has made it into the newspaper also reinforces the idea that, in the town where Beth lives, even the minor chaos caused by the Herdman children is blown up into a major story—Mrs. Wendleken is not the only community member with an outsized reaction to these six children.

“Of course this was a big surprise to everybody, especially Leroy, and it nearly killed Alice Wendleken, who […] expected to be the Good School Citizen of the Month for the rest of her life.”

Beth’s comically hyperbolic description of Alice’s reaction to Leroy winning the Good School Citizen award is characteristic of her narrative voice. It also supports her earlier characterization of Alice as a self-absorbed overachiever and makes clear that, in Beth’s community, positive recognition is generally reserved for compliant children like Alice.

“This was a big mistake, because ‘refreshments’ is one long word that all the Herdmans understand, and right away you knew that they’d figure some way to get at them.”

Beth’s sometimes caustic sense of humor is on display here, as she alludes to Imogene not knowing the meaning of “compliments” on the first day of school and mocks both the Herdman children’s lack of education and their constant desire for food by pointing out that they do, by contrast, know the meaning of “refreshments.” The possibility that the children are always hungry because there is not enough food in their home is not acknowledged; instead, Beth’s narration portrays the Herdmans as greedy, sneaky, and uncivil.

“‘They can’t,’ Alice said. ‘They’d have to be in the show, and they can’t do anything talented.’”

Alice assumes that none of the Herdman children could possibly be talented. Her bias against them reflects both her own experiences with them and the community’s prejudices. Viewing order as synonymous with goodness, Alice imagines that children who constantly violate community norms cannot possibly have hidden strengths and talents. Alice’s attitude shows The Importance of Seeing Beyond the Surface.

“[T]hey gave the first prize to the kindergarten rhythm band, which was probably the best thing to do. It made all the kindergarten mothers happy and it didn’t make anyone else very mad.”

Beth may be only a sixth grader, but her wry analysis of the talent show outcome shows her pragmatism and astuteness about school politics. The intense interest the adults in the story show about the outcome of an elementary school talent show reflects the typical home environment of the novel’s children—they have involved and partisan parents highly invested in their day-to-day lives, in sharp contrast to the home life of the Herdman children.

“But then I realized it wasn’t imagination, it was just a big lie. I also realized that finding a compliment for Imogene Herdman was probably the hardest thing I’d have to do all year.”

Beth’s judgmental streak interferes with her effort to find a compliment for Imogene. Instead of seeing Imogene’s silly story about the teacher’s lounge as a creative joke, she decides that it is “just a big lie” and cannot be considered evidence of Imogene’s imaginative qualities. This helps to support the novel’s arguments about The Importance of Seeing Beyond the Surface.

“‘I hope you have more boys and girls like…is it Imogene?’ ‘We have five more exactly like her,’ one of the teachers said.”

Because the district supervisor does not know about the Herdman children, she is quick to praise Imogene for opening the lounge door, unaware that the whole reason she, Mrs. Wendleken, and the teachers were stuck there for so long is that Imogene has made the other children terrified of being anywhere near the lounge. Her words are unintentionally ironic, and when a teacher responds that they have “five more exactly like her,” there is dramatic irony for the reader, who can understand the teacher’s meaning in a way that the district supervisor cannot.

“I certainly couldn’t write down ‘Imogene Herdman is thoughtful,’ no matter what the district supervisor said.”

Beth knows more than the district supervisor about Imogene’s role in the students’ fear of the teachers’ lounge, and so she cannot agree that Imogene’s actions are “thoughtful.” Despite how eager she is to find a compliment for Imogene so that she does not have to keep worrying about her assignment, she refuses to use this word to describe Imogene. This demonstrates that, although Beth is motivated to be a good student, honesty matters more to her than her teacher’s approval.

“‘Big bugs,’ Gladys told […] Donald. […] ‘They chomp through anything to get food. You better give me your lunch, Donald. I’ll take it to school for you.’”

Gladys uses the ridiculous story about big, food-seeking bugs on the school bus to frighten Donald into giving up his lunch. The absurdity of her story adds to the text’s humor. Her intention to frighten Donald is evidence of the Herdman children’s unethical behavior—but notably, this is yet another example of the Herdmans’ own food-seeking behavior, an indication that they may be without enough food at home.

“Then they all nodded at each other, Maxine said, just as if they were this big normal family of ordinary kids who got up and brushed their teeth and combed their hair and marched out ready to learn something.”

When the Herdmans claim to be unable to go home because they are headed for school, Maxine is sure that they are up to something. Both Maxine and Beth find it laughable that the Herdmans would pretend to be following the social norms for children in their community. As Maxine tells Beth the story, her sarcastic use of words like “normal” and “ordinary” demonstrates that, like everyone in town who is not a Herdman, she is keenly aware that these children have little interest in being like everyone else.

“This sounded crazy, too, but nobody laughed, because if the Herdmans were scared of Bus 6, it was the only thing in the world they were scared of, so you had to figure they must know something no one else knew.”

The Herdmans are so influential that other students are willing to entertain the improbable idea that Bus 6 is somehow cursed. This demonstrates both the Herdmans’ talent for manipulation and their outsized impact on the school community.

“Howard had hair alright, but it was no big improvement because it started way above his ears and grew straight up like grass.”

Beth’s vivid image describing Howard’s new hair and her simile comparing it to grass illustrate her generally humorous tone. They also demonstrate that no one—not even a toddler—is immune from her biting wit and criticism.

“I thought it would probably kill him, so I was glad she didn’t do it, but I knew plenty of other kids who would do it if they got the chance.”

Beth offers a typically hyperbolic appraisal of how having his blanket snatched a second time would impact Howard: “it would probably kill him.” Her voice here is characteristically light and amusing, but she is pointing out a serious fact about her classmates—most of them, given the chance, would continue tormenting Howard. Moments like this make clear that the Herdmans are far from the only bullies at Woodrow Wilson Elementary School—but they are the only ones labeled as such by the other children.

“Louella refused to believe this, and you couldn’t blame her. It was hard enough to believe that Imogene ever was a baby, let alone a baby with her own blanket to drag around and hang on to.”

Even faced with clear evidence that the blanket is Imogene’s, Beth understands why Louella refuses to admit what a kind thing Imogene has done. Even as she recognizes The Importance of Seeing Beyond the Surface, Beth finds it difficult to do so. Her reasoning highlights the extremity of the community’s othering of the Herdmans: it is impossible to imagine that Imogene would do anything nice for another person or that she was ever even a baby. Picturing Imogene as a baby innocently holding a beloved security blanket contradicts the bias that tells Beth the Herdmans are not as fully human as herself.

“Nobody knew why they were absent. Nobody cared.”

The students and staff at school are all relieved when the Herdman children are all absent at the same time. They treat it like a vacation, with the teachers giving easier lessons and the children enjoying not having to worry about the Herdmans beating them up or stealing from them. The school authorities not following up to find out the reason for the children’s absence, along with the general feeling that it is a good thing when the Herdmans are gone, illustrates both the dramatic impact the Herdman children have on their community and the community’s lack of interest in their welfare.

“But then everyone would go off and leave their smelly old socks and moldy mittens and melted Halloween candy and leftover sandwiches.”

Beth’s recitation of the things students would leave in their desks if not forced to clean them out on the last day of school illustrates her characteristically funny and somewhat cynical narrative voice and helps to characterize her as someone who prizes order. Beth uses polysyndeton to create a sense of how the “smelly,” “moldy,” and “melted” items have built up all year; her choice of diction and detail is amusingly revolting and helps make it clear that, absent the rules that guide them, the children would create a disgusting situation for others to deal with.