The Book of Disquiet

Soares embraces inactivity, refusing to conform to expectations. Other times, when Soares pulls himself away from his reading, he notices the banality of his life. He considers the cultural obsession with action, scoffing at notions of success.

Soares muses on his regard for women. Women might appreciate him from a distance but would never actually fall in love with him. He takes a walk, studies the city, and considers his vague, impossible longings for companionship.

Soares feels sick one day. He decides his physical illness is related to his soul’s pain. He wakes up and takes a walk. The city passes in a whir as he walks. He feels as if he’s still dreaming. He interrogates notions of romance; love seems a dubious concept. However, he feels as if he’s experiencing “the beginning of love” (105) for a few days. He eventually decides it’s just an aesthetic he’s experiencing.

Soares tries to reconcile his experiences of love, life, and art with his indistinct identity. For him, writing is a way of organizing his life and forgetting reality. Literature can be a way of recreating dreams, too.

Soares feels frustrated that his writing may never be read by anyone. His anonymity might not matter, but he’s overcome by the tedium of his life.