31 pages • 1 hour read
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Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of physical and emotional abuse, addiction, substance use, disordered eating, mental illness, and death.
On a Sunday morning, Kendi, a boy Jet’s age from their apartment complex, knocks on the door and asks if Jet can play. Lillian says yes, waving to Kendi’s mother Shauna, another single mother, from across the parking lot. Jet hurries to get ready, and Lillian watches as they run over to Shauna. She reflects on how fast Jet is growing up, every moment rushing by.
Lillian is not surprised when Ryan does not attend Jet’s sixth birthday party. After he missed the Jet’s first birthday, Lillian stopped crying over him. While Lillian watches Jet blow out her birthday candles, she thinks of how Ryan, her parents, and her son are not there with her. He would be 18 years old that year, old enough to find her.
In 1980, on her son’s sixth birthday, Lillian called Zack and asked to meet. She flew to Nashville and told him about their son. To her surprise, Zack did not care. His solo career was taking off, and he was engaged. His indifference proved to Lillian that she made the right decision. Upon returning home, she thought briefly of finding her son but felt it would only bring pain. Instead, she looked forward to returning to Ryan, who was helping her heal.