The Courage to Be Disliked

Part 1 introduces the overarching thesis and figures of the book, establishing the form and structure and beginning the slow development of the characters, and the two speakers’ initial focus establishes the concept of Freedom as the Key to Happiness. Additionally, the authors present the young man’s views as implicitly errant; it is clear from the beginning that the philosopher’s role will be to enlighten the young seeker and correct his misguided notions. This dynamic is established with the youth’s goal of dismantling the philosopher’s arguments. To the youth, simplicity and happiness are far-off fantasies, and anyone who thinks otherwise must see the world “from a child’s point of view” (Introduction). In reality, the young man himself is the “child” in their relationship, being far less experienced than the philosopher. By calling the philosopher’s perspective childlike, the young man attempts to disregard the philosopher’s beliefs. He continues this analogy by explaining that children are free to imagine any future they want because they do not have to worry about reality. This statement foreshadows the pair’s discussions about the future later in the book, when the philosopher will urge the young man not to focus on the future at all and will emphasize The Importance of Living in the Present Moment.

In Part 1, the youth’s confidence in his opinions provides a basis for the ensuing dialogue and showcases specific beliefs that the philosopher then proceeds to counter in a pointed but supportive fashion. In this section, the youth feels utterly confident in his bleak notion that people cannot change and that the world is a dark place; however, the structure of the narrative provides room for his views to shift when he readily admits that he is insecure and bases his beliefs on his upbringing. It is also important to note that although the youth is determined to prove the philosopher wrong, the philosopher welcomes the conversation and views it as an opportunity to learn. This dynamic becomes clear in their language; for example, when the philosopher explains the idea of teleology, the man responds, “No way. I reject that as completely unacceptable” (15), but when the youth raises a new topic in support of his position, the philosopher responds with a mild, “Oh? I’m all ears” (15). From these exchanges, it is clear that while the young man shuts down the philosopher’s ideas, leaving no room for discussion or disagreement, the philosopher welcomes the man’s perspective. In this way, the philosopher embodies The Importance of Living in the Present Moment, unburdened by any desire for recognition, fear of the future, or trauma from the past.

This section also establishes the book’s deeper purpose as a primer for the tenets of Adlerian psychology, and the philosopher makes it a point to introduce Alfred Adler’s psychological theories through more established ideas and figures in order to establish his credibility. He therefore discusses the fame of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung and positions Adler as a peer whose beliefs countered theirs. He also cites figures like Dale Carnegie and Stephen Covey, famous contemporary authors whose ideas mirror Adler’s. Within this structure, the youth is meant to play the part of a skeptical reader, as someone who is unfamiliar with these theories and is resistant to change. For this reason, the philosopher offers recognizable names in order to gain the trust of his audience.

This pattern becomes particularly prominent in Chapter 6 as the philosopher proves his commitment to Socratic dialogue. In this chapter, the young man is asking the philosopher yes-or-no questions about his own fate, and the philosopher responds, “Why are you rushing for answers? You should arrive at answers on your own, not rely upon what you get from someone else” (24). He goes on to say, “All your doubts will be dispelled through this dialogue. And you will begin to change. Not by my words, but by your own doing” (24). Like Socrates and Adler, the philosopher believes that engaging in active dialogue is the only way to truly learn. This belief reflects Adler’s ideas of separation of tasks, personal responsibility, and the importance of each moment rather than a destination. It also supports the idea of Freedom as the Key to Happiness and also primes the young man to accept the philosopher’s ideas in his own time. In response, the young man agrees to continue their dialogue “until either you retract your theory or I bow before you” (24). Ironically, the youth’s words indicate that even within the context of open dialogue and earnest communication, he cannot relinquish his desire to contextualize the encounter in competitive, absolutist terms. Furthermore, his response reflects his focus on the future result rather than the present conversation, showing that he has not yet learned The Importance of Living in the Present Moment. Currently, because of the philosopher’s belief that each person can choose happiness, the man feels attacked and criticized for being unhappy, and his unhappiness compels him to argue. In short, he believes that his very character is at stake. However, his apology at the end of Part 1 proves that he cares about the philosopher and is willing to reflect on his actions—and perhaps to change.