Fredrik Backman’s 2017 philosophical novella, The Deal of a Lifetime, is a modern fable that meditates on the meaning of a life. The story is framed as a Christmas Eve letter from a successful, ego-driven businessman to his estranged son. From a hospital bed where he believes he is dying of cancer, the narrator describes his encounters with a five-year-old girl who is also a patient. He also describes being confronted by a mysterious woman who offers him a chance to save the girl, but the price is the complete erasure of his own existence and legacy. The novella explores themes of The Futility of Professional Ambition Without Human Connection, Sacrifice as the Ultimate Act of Redemption, and Reckoning With Legacy When Faced With Mortality.

Originally published in 2016 in a Swedish newspaper, the story is one of Backman’s most personal works. In the foreword, he explains that it’s set in his hometown of Helsingborg and reflects his own feelings about family, love, and the complex nature of home. Backman is an internationally best-selling Swedish author known for novels such as A Man Called Ove, Anxious People, and Beartown, which blend humor and pathos to explore humanist themes. 

This guide refers to the 2017 Atria Books edition.

Content Warning: The source material and guide feature depictions of illness, death, child death, suicidal ideation, sexual violence, emotional abuse, substance use, and cursing.

Plot Summary

The narrative begins as a letter from a successful businessman to his estranged son on Christmas Eve morning. The narrator is in a hospital in his hometown of Helsingborg, Sweden, and explains that he has “killed a person” (1), which, the reader will later learn, refers to his decision to erase his own existence. He recounts meeting a five-year-old girl with cancer at the hospital a week prior. The girl had a stuffed rabbit named Babbit and had colored a chair in the TV room red with 22 boxes of crayons. The narrator overheard her telling Babbit that she expected to die soon and feared a woman in a gray, knitted sweater who walked the hospital corridors carrying a folder with names in it.

The narrator then recalls the aftermath of a recent car accident, where he encountered this woman. As he lay in the wreckage, the woman in the gray sweater appeared. He begged her to take someone else, but she explained that she only handles logistics and does not make the decisions. The narrator also remembers a moment six days earlier when he was smoking on the hospital’s fire escape. He watched the girl in the cancer ward play a game with her mother about her future career. Later, the girl told him that she recognized him from the newspaper and asked if death is cold. The narrator said that he didn’t know and told her to stop drawing on the furniture. He reflects that “the vast majority of successful people […] were bastards long before. That’s why we’ve been successful” (14).

In the letter, the narrator admits to his son that he abandoned his family because he could not cope with the emotional power his son held over him. He justifies his absence by focusing on his career and the wealth he has accumulated, which he considers a superior legacy to leave behind. He recalls a tender moment from his son’s childhood when he comforted the boy, who was afraid of the stars, by telling him that they were cracks in the sky letting light through. He contrasts this with a painful memory of his son, then 11 or 12, running away to his father’s house and begging to live with him. The narrator coldly refused, telling him, “Life isn’t fair” (23).

During his time at the hospital, the narrator has developed a connection with the little girl in the cancer ward. She asked him to play, and though he initially refused, he was moved by her vulnerability. When she asked if he was brave, he advised her that it’s okay to be scared, admitting his own fear of the woman with the folder. He promised to stand watch that night to protect her. The next morning, he overheard the girl telling her mother that she wanted to invite him to her next birthday party. He witnessed the girl being taken to surgery, a process she bravely reframed for her mother as an adventure with “alianies” on a spaceship.

The narrator discloses his long history of encounters with the woman in the gray sweater. He reveals that he had a twin brother who died at birth, a loss that has fueled his lifelong drive to be a “winner.” He recounts seeing the woman at pivotal, tragic moments throughout his life. She appeared in photographs from before his birth, prevented him from walking in front of a train at age five, warned him and his best friend about treacherous rocks just before his friend fell to his death at age 15, and was present on the nights when both his father and mother died.

Recently, on his 45th birthday, the narrator missed an opportunity to reconnect with his son, who is now 20. His son called and invited him for a drink at Vinylbaren, the bar where he works. The son mentioned smørrebrød, recalling their childhood Christmas ferry trips to Denmark. The narrator drove to the bar but, feeling ashamed and drunk, only watched his son from the car. He then remembers a past ferry trip when he taught his then-14-year-old son to play poker. The son won a small amount, declared it “good enough,” and used the money to buy earrings for his mother. The narrator concludes that he failed to make his son tough, but he “ended up kind” instead (38).

One day, the woman in the gray sweater confronted the narrator in the hospital corridor. He accused her of being “death,” but she replied, “I’m not my job,” explaining that she only handles the “picking up and dropping off” (39). She revealed that she had been watching over him his entire life because he had always been her favorite, even though feeling connections with those she observes is against the rules. She told the narrator that he’s not dying after all and will soon learn that he’s healthy. She was at the hospital to collect the five-year-old girl instead. The narrator watched in horror as she walked to the girl’s room, crossed a name out of her folder with a black pencil, and prepared to enter.

In a moment of desperation, the narrator shoved the woman, grabbed her folder, and fled the hospital. He then intentionally drove his car at high speed into a lorry—this is when the aforementioned car accident occurred. The woman pulled him from the wreckage. He offered to die in the girl’s place, but she explained the terms of the deal. A death cannot be traded for another death, only a life for a life. To save the girl, his own existence must be completely erased. He will never have existed, his accomplishments will be attributed to someone else, and his son will have had a different father.

To ensure that he understood the stakes, the woman took the narrator to Vinylbaren for a final encounter with his son. They entered the bar, and the son, pleased to see his father, served him coffee. As the narrator handed his cup back, their hands touched, and he felt his son’s heartbeat. Before the narrator left, his son kissed him on the cheek and wished him a “Merry Christmas,” a moment of connection that solidified the narrator’s resolve to accept the deal, viewing it as the most important transaction of his life.

The narrator tells his that son he will never read the letter he is writing because, eventually, he will never have written it. He says that outside the bar, the woman explained that the fear of death is actually grief for the loss of time. Erasing a life, she said, necessitated them “jumping inwards.” She gave the narrator a pair of gray gloves that she knitted. While holding hands, they jumped. In his final moment, the narrator saw his hometown as his son does, as a home, and concluded, “[T]hat was good enough” (65). The story ends with the narrator’s final, unread words to his son, affirming that he was loved.