The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

The party disembarks at station 83. Carl uses his Escape Plan skill to examine the Red Line map, discovering the locations of stairwells at lower-numbered stations, though their accessibility is unknown and there is no obvious route back. The station hub contains a general store run by Limp Richard, a “mole man,” plus a guild and a safe room.

Inside the safe room, they reunite with Mordecai, now transformed into a toad-like Grulke. He informs them the crawler population has dropped by several hundred thousand. Wendita, the proprietor of the safehouse, lists personal spaces at 50,000 gold. Donut begins negotiating, using her charisma, the highest in the group.

In the safe house, all the party members open the loot boxes they have received. Carl receives a special apology reward from the AI, which contains coupons for a free level three personal space and multiple high-value upgrades. Carl also obtains the Enchanted Necklace of the Haute Bourgeoisie, granting him tax income from his third-floor settlement, plus five dexterity and the Talon Strike skill. He learns the spell Bang Bro from a tome.

Donut receives similar coupons, a new tiara, and a spellbook for the spell Hole­—when she levels the skill up, she will be able to create a hole in any material. Katia receives a shapeshifting arm bracer that forms a shield. Mordecai explains she can reshape any equipped armor into different body parts, making her potentially formidable.

After distributing stat points, the party uses their coupons to purchase and conjoin three level three spaces, creating a level five communal base. They buy an ultra-fast-resting bed (in which they can received a full night’s sleep in 2 hours), enhanced shower, crafting studio, and training room. The massive transaction delights Wendita. A previously locked door opens, granting access to their new home.

The party enters their new hangar-sized personal space. Donut, as team leader, places communal rooms, including a kitchen, living area, and training facilities. Individual doors appear for Carl, Donut, Katia, and Mordecai. Mordecai explains that his manager’s room can only attach to a level five base.

Donut insists that Carl and Mongo sleep in her room. Carl lies on the new bed and falls asleep immediately. He awakens two hours later feeling perfectly rested, receiving the Good Rest buff that boosts stats and experience gain by 10% for 30 hours.

The party watches the recap show, which shows what the other parties are up to and offers a segment on Earth’s rail history. Mordecai outlines a new daily schedule: buffs, training, crafting, and exploration. Katia reports that her former party, Hekla and Brynhild’s Daughters, which she has been chatting with, is also at station 83 on a different line.

The daily announcement states that stairwells will only open six hours before collapse and explicitly forbids early descent. Bounty hunting on top-10 crawlers, by other crawlers, is confirmed active.

After the announcement, Carl discovers a message from Brandon, his deceased friend, in a special folder in his chats. Brandon died on the third floor, sacrificing himself to save others. His dying wish is for Carl to tell his estranged brother, Chris, that he loves him. Devastated and enraged, Carl ignores Mordecai’s schedule and spends an hour in the training room, furiously working his Bare Knuckles skill.

After training, Carl sets up his crafting tables in the studio. He uses the goo-inator shaping tool to begin reshaping a heavy iron breastplate, earning the Martha Stewart achievement and a box containing tools and a bucket of glitter.

The party visits Limp Richard’s store. Carl notes a Battery Fabricator priced at 75,000 gold. He trades five Western novels for five science fiction books, establishing rapport with the proprietor. They investigate the Nightmare Express platform, discovering that its figure-eight route connects multiple train lines.

At the Yellow Line platform, they observe monsters on arriving trains. Realizing they can safely kill monsters from the platform, they spend an hour killing them to gain experience. Katia relays that Hekla’s party has been exploiting this tactic, and they believe that monsters exit into cave systems every five stops.

The party boards a Yellow Line train at car two. The door to the engine car requires a Yellow Line Engineer’s Key. Five Cave Mudge Bonkers attack from the next car. The party forms a defensive V-formation, using the car’s layout to funnel enemies. Katia shapeshifts her arms to parry attacks more effectively. They successfully defeat the first wave. When a second wave charges, they reset their formation to engage.

After clearing the monsters and deploying barricades, the train stops at Phantom Kangaroo Station. Fish-like Pollyslogs attempt to board but are blocked by Carl’s metal wedges. The closing doors sever arms and bisect bodies.

The party enters car five, an Employee Break Room, and meet Vernon, a dwarven train conductor. Two Jikininki janitors pass through peacefully, ignoring the party. Vernon, charmed by Princess Donut, becomes talkative. He explains the train exists in a loop: It resets at the end of the line, bringing him back to the beginning, but he retains memories and injuries. Items present on his first day duplicate with each loop, allowing him to accumulate wealth. He reveals that only a derailment will force the reclusive engineer from the engine car, allowing them to gain access.

After an hour of information gathering, Katia records the details for on the map of the rail lines that Mordecai is compiling. Carl, Donut, and Mongo investigate car 10, discovering that it is the Yellow Line Reward Room. A giant porter non-player character (NPC) named Pierre offers them prize suitcases. Carl selects number one and Donut chooses eight.

They return to the break room and open their suitcases. Carl’s suitcase contains clothing and an Invisibility Potion. As he unzips Donut’s case, his Find Traps skill activates, indicating a trap, but it is too late to stop. The suitcase releases thousands of fire ants that ignite the room. A moonshine bottle explodes, spreading flames. Vernon is engulfed and killed.

The party flees through the next car and jumps onto Banshee Station’s platform. They watch helplessly as the burning train departs, fire ants overwhelming the monsters inside.