The Friend

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of death by suicide, mental illness, and death.

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

1. What surprised you most about the revelation in Part 11 that the entire narrative is a novel-within-a-novel?

2. Which aspects of the evolving relationship between the narrator and Apollo did you find most compelling, and why?

3. In what ways does The Friend differ from other literary works about grief and loss, such as Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking or C. S. Lewis’s A Grief Observed?

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. When have you experienced friendships that blurred the boundaries between platonic and romantic love, similar to the narrator’s relationship with her deceased friend?

2. What experiences with animals have shaped your understanding of connection and love?

3. Which books have helped you process difficult emotions in your life, and how have they done so?

4. When have you made significant sacrifices for someone or something you deeply valued, similar to the narrator risking eviction to keep Apollo?

5. In what ways have powerful emotions manifested physically in your life?

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. How have the parameters for acceptable dynamics between teachers and students shifted over time? What does the novel suggest regarding the value of this shift?

2. The novel explores suicide and grief through literature and writing. What role does art play in how society and individuals process difficult topics like suicide and mental health?

3. What does humanity’s evolving relationship with pets reveal about contemporary human needs and values?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. How does the fragmented structure of the novel contribute to your understanding of the narrator’s grief process?

2. What purpose does character anonymity serve in developing the novel’s themes?

3. Sigrid Nunez fills the text with literary quotations and references. How did these allusions enhance or complicate your reading experience?

4. What different symbolic meanings does Apollo embody throughout the story?

5. The novel reveals itself as a work of fiction within fiction. What statement does this make about the relationship between life and art? What other novels have you encountered that prominently feature stories within stories (examples include Margaret Atwood’s The Blind Assassin and Ian McEwan’s Atonement), and how does this one compare?

6. What does the novel suggest about writing as both a therapeutic tool and an artistic endeavor?

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

1. How might the story continue after the events described in the novel?

2. If you were creating a soundtrack for a film adaptation of The Friend, what songs would you include, and why?

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