The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You

The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine N. Aron, PhD, offers an in-depth look at the trait of high sensitivity, explaining how it influences the way individuals perceive and respond to their surroundings. The book aims to help those who are highly sensitive—about 20 percent of the population—understand and embrace their natural disposition while providing practical advice on how to manage overstimulation and leverage their unique strengths. The Highly Sensitive Person was originally published in 1996.

This guide is based on the 2020 Citadel Press 25th anniversary edition of the text.

Content Warning: The source material and this guide feature depictions of child abuse, child sexual abuse, mental illness, suicidal ideation, and death by suicide.

Summary

In the Preface, Aron defines high sensitivity as having a “sensitive nervous system.” It is a naturally occurring trait, and highly sensitive persons (HSPs) are a sizeable minority of the population. She outlines the goals of the book, which include providing information about the trait and about how to deal with it, aimed at both HSPs and non-HSPs. Aron lays out her own credentials and her four-step method in the book, consisting of self-knowledge, reframing, healing, and finding the right level of involvement in the world.

In the first two chapters, Aron establishes stimulation as the factor that complicates HSPs’ lives. All people seek an optimal level of stimulation for themselves, avoiding both boredom (understimulation) and stress (overstimulation), but HSPs are more responsive to stimulus than others. While this makes them keenly perceptive of subtleties in their environment, they are also more prone to overstimulation. Aron proposes her theory that society historically has consisted of two groups, the “warrior kings” and the “royal advisors.” HSPs belong to the latter group, performing a vital role for society. Aron’s message in Chapter 1 is that HSPs should take pride in their uniqueness and recognize that they are normal, not “flawed.” In Chapter 2, Aron digs deeper into the psychological basis of high sensitivity, including experiences of childhood “attachment.”

In Chapters 3 and 4, Aron develops an extended metaphor comparing the HSP’s body to that of an infant in need of careful parenting. She proposes methods for doing this, including HSPs learning to reframe their lives (especially their childhood experiences) in terms of their sensitivity so as to achieve healing and a more knowledgeable perspective on their lives.

Chapter 5 disentangles the distinct, though frequently elided, concepts of shyness, sensitivity, and introversion, while Chapter 6 offers guidance for HSPs to thrive in work environments. Chapter 7 examines the intricate dynamics of HSPs in close relationships (both romantic and friendships), while Chapter 8 proposes how HSPs can pursue psychotherapy in a way that will benefit them; Aron comes down in favor of Jungian therapy as the best healing method for HSPs.

The final two chapters take on very contrasting topics. Chapter 9 looks at HSPs and the world of healthcare, arguing that they can and must make their presence and needs felt in the medical establishment. Chapter 10 deals with HSPs and spirituality, arguing that HSPs are closely attuned to the world of soul and spirit and can lead in the search for wholeness that is necessary for humanity.