The Leavers

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

1. How did Ko’s alternating narrative structure between Daniel’s and Polly’s perspectives affect your reading experience? What did this dual approach reveal about their relationship that a single narrator might have missed?

2. Have you read other immigrant narratives that explore cultural assimilation and belonging, such as Jhumpa Lahiri’s The Namesake? How does Ko’s treatment of these themes compare to other works you’ve encountered?

3. The novel concludes with Daniel and Polly choosing separate paths toward independence rather than staying together in China. How did their endings strike you, and what made their journeys toward self-acceptance feel satisfying or incomplete?

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. Daniel’s abandonment trauma creates lasting patterns of self-doubt and difficulty accepting love from others. Think about how past experiences of loss or disappointment have shaped your own ability to trust. What parallels do you see with Daniel’s journey?

2. Throughout the story, characters face pressure to conform to others’ expectations. Have you experienced similar tensions between pleasing others and staying true to your values? How did you navigate moments when external approval felt at odds with your authentic self?

3. Language serves as both a bridge and a barrier for characters navigating different cultural spaces throughout the novel. How has your relationship with language—whether through regional dialects, professional vocabularies, or cultural expressions—influenced your sense of belonging in various communities?

4. Both Daniel and Polly ultimately choose uncertainty over security when their safe situations begin feeling restrictive to their growth. Consider a time when you faced a similar choice between comfort and authenticity—what factors influenced your decision?

5. The mother-son relationship evolves through separation, misunderstanding, and, eventually, reconnection across continents. What aspects of Daniel and Polly’s bond felt most genuine or moving to you as their story unfolded?

6. Family dynamics in the novel involve complex processes of forgiveness, healing, and learning to understand each other’s choices. How did these portrayals connect with your own experiences of working through difficult relationships with loved ones?

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. How do Polly’s experiences during her 14-month detention connect to contemporary immigration discussions and policy debates you’re familiar with? What does her story reveal about the human cost of enforcement practices?

2. What does Daniel’s story illuminate about the preparation and ongoing support needed for successful cross-cultural adoptions? How does his experience reveal both the good intentions and the cultural blind spots that can arise in transracial adoption?

3. Economic pressures force immigrant families to make heart-wrenching decisions about work, housing, and childcare throughout the novel. Which of these challenges remain pressing today, and how effectively do current social policies address the vulnerabilities Ko depicts?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. What do the characters’ name transformations—from Peilan to Polly, Deming to Daniel—reveal about identity, assimilation, and personal agency? How do these changes reflect their relationships with cultural background and social mobility?

2. Music evolves from background comfort to authentic self-expression in Daniel’s journey toward independence. How does his progression from playing Roland’s commercial songs to writing confessional pieces mirror his broader search for identity?

3. Ko connects water imagery to major character decisions and emotional breakthroughs. How does this motif work in opposition to the recurring symbolism of walls and enclosed spaces?

4. Which instances of “tilting”—moments when characters tip past their ability to recover easily—struck you as most significant throughout the story? What allows characters to regain their equilibrium after these breaking points?

5. Daniel’s self-sabotage patterns emerge most strongly when he feels trapped by others’ expectations for his future. How does Ko use these destructive episodes to explore trauma’s impact on personal agency and authentic choice?

6. Why does Ko choose first-person narration for Polly’s sections while telling Daniel’s story in third-person? How does this structural decision shape your understanding of each character’s relationship to their experiences?

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

1. Adapting The Leavers for the screen would require translating complex internal journeys into visual storytelling. Which scenes or emotional moments would present the greatest filmmaking challenges, and how might you capture the novel’s themes of fractured identity and memory?

2. Daniel’s musical evolution reflects his growing confidence in expressing his authentic self rather than meeting others’ expectations. Make a playlist that represents his multicultural background and emotional development.

3. The story ends with both characters embarking on new chapters that prioritize personal authenticity over security—Daniel in New York, Polly in Hong Kong. Write an additional chapter exploring new opportunities or challenges that might arise as they continue building lives that honor all aspects of their identities.