Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of racism, antigay bias, and suicidal ideation.

At the start of the novel, Yami is already dealing with the emotional fallout from her first experience with coming out as gay. When she came out to Bianca, her best friend and crush at Rover High, Bianca reacted with cruelty, accusing Yami of predatory behavior and outing her to their friend group. This painful experience establishes the foundation of Yami’s fear and defensiveness, fueling her determination to keep her sexuality hidden at Slayton Catholic.

Heteronormative expectations create constant tension for Yami as she explores her developing sexuality and identity. During a classroom debate on marriage equality, this internal conflict surfaces dramatically. As Bo openly protests the offensive topic, Yami sits stunned, unable to speak while classmates make dehumanizing comments. Their arguments comparing being gay to immoral behaviors make Yami feel “like an animal. A predator” (60), demonstrating how deeply she has internalized the judgments of others, to the point of questioning her humanity.

Official positions condemning LGBTQ+ sexualities permeate Slayton Catholic through classroom instruction, administrative policies, and peer interactions. During the debate about gay marriage, students openly declare, “Homosexuality is sin. It’s not natural! A child needs a mother and a father!” (60). These statements, permitted and facilitated by the teacher, illustrate how religious condemnation becomes normalized within educational settings. Later, the principal announces a rule against same-sex couples at prom, showing how religious institutions enforce heteronormativity through policy, exercising tangible control over students’ lives.

Different characters respond to this oppression in different ways. Bo embodies direct resistance, openly challenging religious authorities and their interpretations. During confession, Bo confronts the priest: “I just don’t see why I have to apologize for being exactly the way God made me” (187). This confrontation represents one approach to resolving the tension. Bo rejects the framing of her sexuality as sinful and questions the theological consistency of condemning identities while believing that God created all people. Cesar presents a more fraught response, deeply internalizing religious condemnation until it becomes life-threatening. His struggle to reconcile his bisexuality with his Catholic faith leads to profound inner conflict. When explaining his breakup with Jamal, Cesar reveals the theological paradox fueling his suffering: “Why did God make me like this if I’m not supposed to be like this, huh?” (332). This question is semantically identical to Bo’s statement to the priest, but unlike Bo, Cesar has not yet fully escaped the notion that he’s “not supposed to be like this.” When his inner conflict leads to suicidal ideation, Yami receives a stark reminder of the need for self-acceptance.

Key relationships both hinder and facilitate Yami’s journey toward self-acceptance. Her father’s rejection deepens her fear of rejection from others, while Bo’s unapologetic confidence provides an alternative model. Bo directly challenges anti-LGBTQ+ bias, showing Yami that self-acceptance can function as resistance rather than vulnerability. Gradually, Yami questions whether hiding her identity truly protects her or merely prolongs her suffering. The turning point in Yami’s self-acceptance journey, however, arrives not through her relationship with Bo but through Cesar’s mental health crisis. When Cesar has suicidal thoughts, partly due to his inability to reconcile his bisexuality with religious teachings, Yami confronts the potentially lethal consequences of shame and secrecy. This realization catalyzes her decision to come out to her mother and subsequently embrace her identity at school.

As Yami grows in self-acceptance, her relationship with external judgment transforms. Initially silenced by fear, she finds her voice and stands up to school authorities. When the principal, Mr. Cappa, makes a school-wide announcement banning same-sex couples from prom, Yami finds the courage to challenge him directly: “That announcement was in bad taste. It was humiliating, not to mention just completely wrong. Girls go to prom together as friends all the time” (360). This confrontation marks significant growth from her earlier silence, showing how self-acceptance has empowered her to challenge institutional discrimination.

The novel portrays coming out not as a single event but as an ongoing process across different contexts. Yami discloses her sexuality to different people at different times, making strategic decisions about when revelation is safe or necessary. Her initial reluctance appears not as a weakness but as a rational response to legitimate threats. 

Support from allies proves essential to Yami’s journey, as she realizes that coming out is not a single event but an ongoing process across different contexts. Her public promposal to Bo represents a milestone, yet the novel acknowledges that such decisions remain complicated in hostile environments. When she faces detention for the promposal, countless classmates join in silent protest. This solidarity helps Yami recognize that external judgment, though painful, need not define her sense of self. Similarly, her mother’s unexpected acceptance reminds Yami that she deserves to be loved for who she is, not for living up to anyone else’s expectations. By the conclusion, Yami moves from hiding to advocacy, from shame to pride, and from isolation to community. This transformation demonstrates how self-acceptance can become a foundation for challenging oppressive norms. Having accepted herself, Yami works to make the world around her a more accepting place.