The List of Things That Will Not Change

Bea’s dad, Daniel, is a prominent figure in her life and the catalyst behind the course of changes that takes place for Bea’s entire family throughout the narrative. Bea’s dad almost choked to death, and the experience led him to realize the fragility of his life. He decided to come out as gay and divorce his wife to pursue the type of love he had always wanted. Jesse happened to be the one who saved him from choking, which led to their falling in love. Bea’s dad is a devoted father and continues to try to take care of his ex-wife after the divorce by leaving food for her and Bea. He owns a restaurant named after his daughter and spends most of his time working there. Bea’s dad tries to comfort her after the divorce and provide a sense of normalcy, but it ironically becomes Jesse who helps Bea feel more at home. Bea’s dad was always an example for her of what family and acceptance looked like, starting from his relationship with his own brother, and concluding with his relationship with Jesse.

Jesse is Daniel’s partner and becomes his husband as well as Bea’s stepfather after he and Daniel are married. He and Daniel met when Daniel choked on an orange and Jesse saved his life, and the moment made Daniel aware of what he was missing in not being true to himself. Bea was always grateful to have Jesse around and having him move in made her dad’s apartment feel more like a home. Jesse cares about the environment and shows this in the way he brings oysters across the city to drop them in the ocean. He also cares about his family and is always there with support and a smile despite that his own immediate family rejected him when he came out. Jesse lives across the country from his daughter, but after he and Daniel are married, he plans to have Sonia come out to New York to visit more often. Jesse deals with open discrimination both at Bea’s school and at his own wedding, but his character never falters. He is an example of The Stability of Unconditional Love in Families.

Sonia is Jesse’s daughter from his first marriage. Like Daniel, Jesse broke away to find the love he knew he needed. Sonia and her mother remained in California while Jesse moved to New York, and as a result, Sonia only sees Jesse every few months when he visits. Coming to New York to visit Jesse, Bea, and Daniel is a new experience for Sonia because she has never had her life split in such a way before. The different reactions in Sonia and Bea showcase how The Effects of Parental Divorce in Childhood may be different for everyone. Bea finds her difficult to read and pushes her for months to try and connect, but Sonia takes much longer than Bea to adjust to all of the changes. Bea writes long letters, and Sonia writes postcards. Bea asks Sonia everything about her life, and Sonia doesn’t ask Bea anything. For a while, Bea takes it all personally, and when they meet, she is angry to find that Sonia is not thrilled to be there. Just like Miriam warned, Sonia is initially nervous and shy, but Bea helps her feel more comfortable with the story tapes she plays. All along, she continues to see Sonia as her sister, and doesn’t let Sonia’s hesitation deter her.

Despite their differences, Bea and Sonia have a lot in common, including their family backgrounds, their love of stories, and their interest in history. Both girls miss their mothers when they’re away from them, and both feel they carry more weight than they can hold at times. Bea finds Sonia to be enigmatic, and she considers it her mission to find out more about her. She relates to Sonia by telling her about the two moons she saw when she was little, and the girls consider their lives, which are split into two different worlds. Sonia even apologizes to Bea for being distant, and although their bond isn’t as instant as Bea hoped, the girls appreciate their newfound sisterhood.

Bea’s mom is an important character, but one whose story is largely overshadowed by Jesse and Daniel’s love story and Bea’s own personal anxiety as she copes with the changes in her life. Bea’s mom is a math teacher who believes anyone can be anything, and always encourages Bea to believe in herself. She appears strong at all times and only cries in secret, which makes Bea feel like crying is wrong somehow. Bea’s mom acts as though she is happy for Daniel’s new marriage, but Bea can sense that she is sad as well as anxious. Bea’s mom panics after a bat enters the apartment and insists on rabies shots, refusing to risk safety by opening the windows again. Following that event, she gains confidence and a desire to regain her independence. She tells Daniel to stop leaving food at her apartment and finds a way to cook on her own. Bea’s mom comes to the wedding and shows maturity and grace, ever a powerful role model for her daughter.

Miriam is Bea’s therapist following her parents’ divorce. She initially gains Bea’s favor by refraining from judgment, assuring her she isn’t a bad person, and relating over their shared love of gummy bears. While Bea was closed off to the idea of therapy at first, it didn’t take long for her to begin opening up to Miriam. This allowed Miriam to help Bea acknowledge and understand her actions and the emotions behind them, and as trust built up between them, Bea was also able to unveil her darkest secrets and find ways to forgive herself for past mistakes. Miriam teaches Bea how to set time aside for worrying, to think before she acts, and to consider the feelings and experiences of others as well as her own. She is always patient with Bea and gives Bea the space to open up in her own time.

Sheila is Jesse and Mission’s sister, as well as Bea’s babysitter and friend. Unlike Bea’s parents, Sheila doesn’t hide her feelings or experiences from Bea, and always talks to Bea honestly and frankly. She is often at Jesse and Daniel’s apartment just to visit, and she reacts emotionally when the topic of Mission comes up in conversation. As his twin, Sheila felt a deep connection to her brother, but chose Jesse when Mission refused to accept Jesse as being gay. Sheila tells Bea all of this, and also warns her about people who might try to change her to suit their own image. Sheila is unconditionally supportive and accepting of Jesse and becomes the primary wedding planner. She chooses a sunshine theme and decorates the restaurant to suit it. When Mission stands up in protest at the wedding, Sheila is the first one to speak out against him.

Mission is Jesse’s brother and Sheila’s twin brother. He is estranged from the family until Bea decides to secretly invite him to the wedding. Mission stopped talking to Jesse and Sheila after Jesse came out for the second time and Mission didn’t approve of his decision. When he arrives for the wedding, the moment is awkward and formal, and Jesse tries to act like nothing is wrong while Sheila yells to herself upstairs. Bea almost immediately feels guilty for inviting Mission once he shows up, because she can sense that something is still wrong between the members of the family. In hearing about the conflict with Mission, Bea became fearful of being rejected by Sonia in a similar way and hoped that she could resolve her fear by resolving things with Mission and Jesse. Instead, Mission stands up at the wedding and denounces his brother’s engagement in the hopes of stopping the marriage, even ruining the wedding cake before leaving. Mission and Jesse’s brotherly relationship, unlike Frank and Daniel’s, was shaped by Mission’s inability to accept Jesse for who he is.

Uncle Frank is Daniel’s brother, and his family spends the summers with Bea’s family at a lake cabin. Bea opens her story with an anecdote about the special bond between Frank and Daniel, and the way they understood each other like nobody else did as children. Bea wished for a similar bond with her cousins, but instead they often bullied her and isolated her from the group. Part of the reason for this was her age, but part of it was because Bea’s parents were divorced. James in particular made fun of Bea for having a dad who is gay and called her “Ping Pong,” while Angelica refused to play with Bea and excluded her from activities with other girls. After her parents’ divorce, Bea’s emotions were swirling, and after a bad couple of days with Angelica, Bea pushed her off the loft. When Angelica developed a neurological virus a couple of years later, Bea wondered if the symptoms were her fault, and her guilt ate away at her until she admitted her mistake and apologized to Angelica. In doing so, Bea was also able to forgive herself.