The Next Conversation

Fisher defines the assertive voice as the midpoint between passive silence and aggressive dominance. It involves speaking with clarity and confidence while remaining respectful of others. Practicing assertive communication is central to Fisher’s framework for reducing conflict and building trust.

A boundary is a clearly defined personal limit based on one’s values, needs, or well-being. The need to Build and Assert Personal Boundaries is one of the text’s key takeaways, and Fisher distinguishes between simply saying “no” and actively constructing and communicating boundaries that protect mental and emotional health. He likens boundaries to fences—meant not to punish others but to protect the space inside.

This term refers to a nine-second intentional pause taken before responding in emotionally charged conversations. Fisher introduces it as a physiological reset that helps calm the body, slow the “ignition phase,” and prevent knee-jerk reactions. It becomes a core technique for emotional regulation throughout the book, supporting Fisher’s recommendation to Speak With Intention, Not Impulse.