The Next Conversation

In Chapter 7, Fisher reframes confidence not as a fixed personality trait or an innate emotion but as a byproduct of assertive action. Drawing from a vivid hypothetical—where a researcher asks someone to feel happy, scared, or angry on command—Fisher makes the case that confidence, like emotion, is a response to doing. People don’t think their way into it; they build it through practice. This model resonates with broader psychological frameworks around “embodied cognition,” where action precedes belief.

Fisher then outlines 10 specific strategies for strengthening one’s assertive voice, offering a mix of language shifts, nonverbal cues, and internal reframes. Throughout, he positions assertiveness not as dominance but as clarity in motion. These techniques aren’t just linguistic but deeply connected to identity and agency. For example, his recommendation to eliminate softening phrases like “just” or “maybe” (which often arise from gendered or hierarchical communication dynamics) is especially relevant in professional and cross-cultural contexts where marginalized voices are frequently undermined or misinterpreted.

Fisher encourages readers to build internal trust by following through on their words, linking communication to integrity. The advice to communicate needs challenges readers, especially those socialized to prioritize harmony over honesty, to replace excessive apologies with gratitude and directness. This moment subtly critiques cultural norms around politeness and people-pleasing, particularly in Western, white-collar, or feminine-coded spaces.