The Next Day: Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward

French Gates opens by describing recurring nightmares that plagued her at the end of 2019. These dreams featured a beautiful house with a deteriorating foundation being eroded by ocean waves, followed by visions of standing on a cliff with her family before falling away from them. She interpreted these dreams as her subconscious processing her marriage’s deterioration, particularly following disturbing revelations about Bill’s conduct published in the New York Times. French Gates began hearing an internal whisper telling her, “This isn’t right anymore” (78).

After initially attempting to ignore this inner voice through distractions—including traveling for work and visiting her daughter Phoebe in South Africa—French Gates found the whisper growing stronger. In early 2020, she planned a solo retreat to New Mexico for reflection. At the last minute, she invited Bill, hoping time together might help their relationship. The rental house had belonged to a recently divorced couple, creating an eerie parallel to their situation. During quiet moments while journaling, French Gates’s inner voice delivered a clear message: It was time to separate from Bill.

French Gates traces her relationship with her inner voice to her teenage years at an all-girls Catholic school run by Ursuline nuns. The sisters created a chapel from two adjoining classrooms and encouraged students to spend time in stillness and reflection.