The Next Day: Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward

French Gates reflects on her childhood experiences at a greeting card store in Dallas, where her mother Elaine regularly purchased cards to acknowledge important moments in people’s lives. The author presents this as evidence of how thoughtful attention to others’ milestones creates lasting bonds and demonstrates care.

French Gates describes how her mother’s approach to celebrations extended beyond card-giving to creating meaningful holiday and birthday traditions. Despite modest means, her family maintained elaborate Christmas celebrations and birthday parties that temporarily suspended normal household rules. These experiences taught French Gates that certain occasions deserve special recognition and that family time should be protected from everyday distractions.

The author recounts a pivotal moment during her daughter Jen’s first Christmas when she chose to play golf with Bill instead of staying home with her eight-month-old daughter and her parents, who were visiting for the holidays. This decision caused French Gates to recognize that she had failed to prioritize family time during a significant occasion.

Following this realization, French Gates enrolled in a parenting class taught by Dee Ann Perea, who emphasized that family rituals create belonging and memories while binding families together. Inspired by this framework, French Gates developed new traditions for her own family, including “closing the doors for Christmas,” a practice of stepping back from routine activities to focus exclusively on family time during the holiday season (132).