47 pages • 1-hour read
The Rainbow Comes and Goes: A Mother and Son on Life, Love, and Loss
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Chapters 2-3Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 2 Summary
Cooper tells the reader about Vanderbilt’s mother’s decision to fight for custody of her, beginning in October 1934. Vanderbilt recalls staying in Gertrude’s Old Westbury estate and being told to call her “Auntie Ger” (61). Vanderbilt started school and began adjusting to life as a Vanderbilt, even reading an etiquette book given to her by Dodo. Vanderbilt believes her mother fought for custody because she wanted to be seen by the Vanderbilts and the public as a good mother. She also notes that she likely saw herself as a good mother despite her inability to bond with her daughter, which Cooper has trouble believing. He wonders if the fear she had being in the middle of this public custody battle as a child was like the fear he had as a child following his father’s death. Later, Auntie Ger’s lawyer, Frank Crocker, became acquainted with the family and asked Vanderbilt whom she wanted to live with. Vanderbilt immediately told him she wanted to live with Auntie Ger and Dodo and cried. Crocker then assured her that she would get to stay with them but that she had to tell the judge why she did not want to live with her mother. He told her to tell the judge that Prince Friedel Hohenlohe burned her arm with a cigarette, among other false stories Naney had told. Cooper tells his mother about a newsreel he found of that day and asks her if anyone told her about the trial. Vanderbilt says nobody did.
Vanderbilt heard about a scandal regarding her mother, which she later discovered was that her former maid, Marie, told the judge she saw her having sex with her friend Lady Nada Milford Haven. Though she did not fully understand the scandal, Vanderbilt knew that her mother did something bad and was afraid she would become like her. Cooper reveals that the scandal is why he hesitated to reveal he was gay and asks if Vanderbilt’s mother was a lesbian. Vanderbilt says that she was but that she was also with men and her sexuality was fluid. This made Vanderbilt worry that she would be a lesbian too, until she reached puberty and knew she liked boys. She states, however, that she knows gay people’s love is the same as straight people’s love. Though Vanderbilt initially needed to confront her complicated feelings about her mother, she accepts Cooper as he is and wants him to be happy. Cooper then reveals to the reader that custody of his mother was given to Gertrude, but at a cost.
Vanderbilt says the judge gave Auntie Ger custody of her but forbade Dodo from having contact with her because of her involvement in Naney’s plans. Vanderbilt’s separation from Dodo devastated her. This reminds Cooper of when he was 15 and his nanny May McLinden left, which distressed him significantly. Naney, however, was not forbidden from seeing Vanderbilt and continued to visit her. When Vanderbilt started dating a boy named Geoffrey Jones, Naney angrily told her that she could not marry him because she was a Vanderbilt and needed to marry someone of higher status. They grew increasingly distant afterward, though they reconnected when Vanderbilt had her first two children, Stan and Chris. After Naney died, Vanderbilt learned that Naney reconciled with her mother. Vanderbilt also dated a boy named John Delehanty, whom she planned on marrying until he was killed in an automobile accident. After a brief bout of grief, she moved forward, something Cooper relates to.
Vanderbilt visited her mother on weekends following the custody battle and was given a governess named Eleanor, whom Vanderbilt called Tootsie Eleanor. Cooper remarks that Vanderbilt seemed to have raised herself after the custody battle. She tells him that she became interested in films, particularly in the Andy Hardy movies, as she found comfort in the father character. She understands that her trust issues come from not having a father and that she always felt his absence. Cooper recalls seeing movies with her after his father’s death and loving it.
Vanderbilt then states that she struggled to connect with her mother and wanted to connect more with Auntie Ger, especially through art. Soon, she started studying art and painting. When she thinks about the hardships that would come later, Cooper suggests that hardships made them take the risks that got them where they are now. Vanderbilt agrees that they are both driven people, and both agree that they did not want to focus too much on people’s judgments of them. After Cooper asks about her religious upbringing, Vanderbilt reveals that the judge had raised her to be Catholic. She had her First Holy Communion and was confirmed with the name Francesca Regina. Despite now being agnostic, she still believes in a divine force and that the things that happen are meant to be. Cooper argues that suffering and misery are not meant to be. After a brief, civil discussion, he decides that they should agree to disagree.
Chapter 3 Summary
A year after her confirmation, in the summer of 1941, Vanderbilt’s mother took her on a trip to Hollywood. They had dinners with many well-known actors and directors, including John Farrow and his wife, Maureen O’Sullivan. As her mother and Thelma focused more on their own lives, Vanderbilt became mesmerized with life in Hollywood, including fashion and fine wine. During her summer there, she started dating older men, including actor Errol Flynn, which she notes was dangerous, and about which Cooper expresses concern. Cooper compares this to when he decided to visit Africa alone while still in school. Vanderbilt supported him and wrote him a letter, expressing her love and telling him not to worry about her.
In this section, Vanderbilt discusses how she started dating the violent Pat DeCicco. During this time, she met Howard Hughes, at which point he sent the abusive Pat to Chicago and started a romance with Vanderbilt. They fell in love and planned to marry, but when Pat returned from Chicago, he angrily demanded that Vanderbilt marry him. Confused and insecure, she did, and—to her mother’s excitement and Auntie Ger’s dismay—they married in December 1941. Auntie Ger died shortly after the wedding, and Vanderbilt later found letters from her expressing her love for her niece. Vanderbilt lived in Junction City, Kansas, for two years while Pat was stationed there, and when he visited home, he was verbally and physically abusive. After Pat befriended Senator Happy Chandler, Happy promised to get Pat a promotion to captain if Pat could get $10,000. They wanted Vanderbilt to provide the money, but because she was not 21 yet, she could not access the trust fund. He tried to get her to call Howard and ask him to loan her money, but when she called him, he only told her that he thought she was calling to start their relationship again.
Cooper asks her why she stayed with Pat if she had options; she says that she was young and insecure and did not feel connected to her family. During a train ride from Los Angeles to Junction City, she overheard a man and his son express concern for her while reading a newspaper and mention Pat’s alleged murder of his ex-wife. It was at this point that she realized she needed to leave. In 1945, she divorced Pat. After she turned 21, she inherited the trust fund money. She gave some of it to Pat to get him out of her life, and then she began using the money to help Naney, Dodo, and her mother.
Vanderbilt tells Cooper that she was drawn back to her mother despite her mother’s role in getting her married to Pat as revenge against Gertrude. After Cooper asks her to explain, Vanderbilt states that her mother was displaying control in setting up the wedding and saw it as her delayed victory in the custody battle. After the divorce, Vanderbilt met the conductor Leopold Stokowski, and they fell in love. Despite her mother’s disapproval and insistence that he was too old for her, Vanderbilt and Leopold grew closer. She told him about her childhood, and he told her to cut off her mother, which she did. This surprises Cooper, who then asks if her interest in Leopold reflects the lack of father figures in her life. She says it does, but she did not think about his age at the time. Vanderbilt and Leopold married and had two sons, Stan and Chris.
Cooper talks about how both he and his mother had options, but they did not think about them when they were younger, as he did not think of any path other than covering stories in war zones. Vanderbilt explains that she did what she could to be a good mother but had trouble knowing how to be a parent because she never truly had any in her life. She then tells Cooper that she divorced Leopold after finding out that he lied about his life; he was from England, not Poland, and he never had a governess. Because she could not trust him anymore, she left with their sons. Leopold sought custody, but Vanderbilt fought back and won. Over time, she remembered more of their good times, and she forgave him and herself.
She then briefly dated and became longtime friends with Frank Sinatra. Cooper notices that she seemed to have little understanding of men, to which she agrees. She also met and fell in love with the director Sidney Lumet. Though she dreamed of a domestic life with him, that dream did not come true, as she became restless. Vanderbilt addresses her impulsiveness and inability to plan, relying on her talents to help her. Cooper states that he always made plans and wanted to be self-sufficient and that, despite his privilege, he has tried to earn his way in the world. Vanderbilt agrees, having always been uncomfortable with the Vanderbilt name and having wanted to use her individual talents to gain money. They both notice that she is restless and never feels satisfied, at which point they both acknowledge that they share that impulsiveness and restlessness to different extents.
Chapters 2-3 Analysis
Chapter 2 shows the later years of Vanderbilt’s childhood as she confronted the aftermath of the trial and found beauty and comfort in art and film. The last few pages of Chapter 2 and most of Chapter 3 also depict Vanderbilt’s growth into adulthood and her romantic relationships, including those with Errol Flynn, Howard Hughes, Frank Sinatra, and her three ex-husbands: Pat DeCicco, Leopold Stokowski, and Sidney Lumet.
Chapter 2 addresses the custody battle between Vanderbilt’s mother and aunt and the unexpected aftermath of it. The public nature of the trial was confusing and upsetting for Vanderbilt, especially when she later realized that her grandmother and mother had been using her as a pawn against each other. This reflects The Pitfalls of Growing Up in a Wealthy Family, showing how the publicity of the trial—especially after her mother’s scandal—had made it nearly impossible for Vanderbilt and her mother to get close to each other. Another negative effect of growing up in a wealthy family was Vanderbilt’s discovery that Naney would not support her dating choices unconditionally and that she expected her to marry a wealthy, powerful man like she and her daughters had. This caused her to grow distant from Naney, though romance continued to be a central part of Vanderbilt’s life. At 17, Vanderbilt became enamored with the glamour and beauty of Hollywood, indulging in fine wine, fashion, and older men. This led her to date predatory men who preyed on her youth and naivete, including her abusive, criminal ex-husband Pat.
The Importance of Strong Parent-Child Relationships appears through Vanderbilt’s desire to stay with Dodo, Naney, and Auntie Ger, the first of whom she saw as her real mother figure. Her separation from Dodo caused her to draw closer to Auntie Ger and Naney, until Naney criticized her choice to date a boy who was not from a well-known, powerful family. Vanderbilt’s fatherlessness continued to make her feel unsafe, so she dreamed of being saved by a strong and loving man. This mentality confirms the differences between her and Cooper, the latter of whom always believed he needed to save himself and make his own way. The theme of strong parent-child relationships is also explored through Cooper and Vanderbilt’s candid conversation about how her mother’s scandal and the stigmatization of her sexuality affected Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt’s fear of her mother and society’s stigmatization made her fearful of being attracted to the same sex, which also made Cooper reluctant to come out to her. However, Vanderbilt assures him that she worked through her complicated feelings about her mother and now understands that there is nothing wrong or unnatural about being gay, wanting her son to be happy and have a partner who loves him above anything else. This exchange shows how open they are becoming with each other and how understanding they are regarding what happened in their lives.
Healing From Loss is addressed more in this section as well. Vanderbilt continued to feel the absence of her father throughout her childhood and adolescence. Amid the custody battle, she also lost much of her childhood innocence as she became more aware of Naney’s manipulative and greedy nature and discovered her mother’s attraction to women. Following the custody battle, she was separated from Dodo, which devastated her and left her feeling like she lost her true mother. Vanderbilt reveals later in the memoir, though, that she continued writing to Dodo, and they reconnected when she was 17. She also faced a major loss when her high school boyfriend John Delehanty died in a car accident. Though she mourned him, she needed to move forward. Vanderbilt also mourned Auntie Ger after her death, and upon reading her letters detailing her love for Vanderbilt, she regretted not having tried to connect with her more. She believes that if she had known Auntie Ger better before her death, she might not have married Pat.
Photographs and portraits are briefly depicted as a motif driving healing from loss when Vanderbilt mentions she kept a photograph of John after he was killed in a car accident. The photograph she keeps of him indicates that, though she has moved forward in life, she likes to hold on to the memories of those whom she has loved and who have loved her. By having the photograph of him, he will always be with her.
In Chapter 3, Vanderbilt uses a symbol from an E. B. White story, a tree that a man in the story wants, which she says “exists only in the moment that he’s seen it, and represents the idea of never being satisfied” (176). She connects this tree from the story to her insatiability and need to always seek something better and more satisfying. This partially connects to healing from loss and the importance of strong parent-child relationships because Vanderbilt’s insatiability stemmed largely from never having a stable familial foundation as a child.
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