Corby reflects on his relationship with Emily. They met at a bakery where Emily was working while staying with her mother over the summer. During their first date, they ate clams and fries in the car, talked, and danced at a noisy club. They spoke about their parents—Emily said her mother is serious while her father is laid-back, while Corby said his mother, Vicki, is a “free spirit,” though he refused to talk about his dad. They also joked about how, at one point, Emily had wanted to become a nun, despite not being Catholic. The next day, Emily called and invited Corby to breakfast, and he rushed to meet her.

Corby and Emily continued dating despite their mothers’ warnings and their impending long-distance status when they returned to their respective colleges on opposite sides of the country. Corby met Betsy, who treated him with resigned distance; however, Emily did not care that her mother disliked Corby, and the relationship continued.

At first, Corby and Emily’s long-distance relationship went well; they talked frequently and spent time together during longer breaks. After Christmas break, Vicki warned him of the complications inherent in long-distance dating, but he ignored her, sarcastically criticizing her use of marijuana.

Emily called and suggested she and Corby take a break so they could date other people, upsetting Corby. Unhappy in his college program, he left and spent four days driving across the country, reflecting on how his father, Dr. Corbin Ledbetter, thinks Corby is a “loser.” He arrived in California and proposed. While Emily accepted his arrival, she did not respond to the proposal.

Corby and Emily began their life in southern California. After developing a deep vein thrombosis, Emily stopped taking birth control pills and became pregnant. Betsy was diagnosed with breast cancer and, despite Corby’s protestations, they moved to be closer to Betsy. After the stressful cross-country trip, Emily miscarried.

Corby and Emily married in a small, informal ceremony. Emily started a job teaching third grade, and Corby got a job as a graphic artist. Although he worried that he loved Emily more than she loved him, Corby was happy with her. At first, they avoided getting pregnant, but in 2014, they tried again and became pregnant with twins.

Realizing he has run over Niko, Corby stops and gets out of the car, seeing Niko under the car. Shawn calls 911, and Linda takes Maisie and tells Corby to call Emily. He rushes inside and calls and texts Emily, but her phone is off. The ambulance arrives while he is inside, and he comes out and takes Maisie from Linda. He walks toward the car, but Linda stops him to protect Maisie from the sight.

The police arrive, first talking to the McNallys, who say Corby is a good parent. The officers—Longo and Fazio—speak with Corby while neighbors Jodi and Mary Louise take Maisie and the EMTs help Niko. Corby describes the morning and the incident to the police, skipping over the drugs and alcohol he has consumed.

Niko is placed on a stretcher and loaded into the ambulance. Corby asks to go with him, but the officers refuse, driving him to the hospital instead so they can talk on the way. The officers speak into the radio, but when Corby asks what the code “EtOH” means, they avoid answering. On the drive, the officers have Corby tell them about the morning again, telling him there will be a formal investigation, so Corby needs to get his story straight. While speaking, Corby is defensive and emotional. He tells them about his prior DUI, which he got after he was laid off, though he leaves out the detail that he got the DUI on the twins’ first birthday.

They arrive at the hospital where Emily meets him, having only been told there is a family emergency.

Corby tells Emily what happened, blaming the accident on having buckled Maisie in first when he normally seats Niko first and on being distracted by the McNallys. After checking in at reception, Corby rejoins Emily and tells her there will be an investigation, which is why the police are there. Both Emily and Corby worry about the life-long consequences of Niko’s injuries.

Corby is called by a phlebotomist who, at the request of the police department, draws three vials of Corby’s blood. When he returns, Betsy has arrived, and she aggressively asks why Corby didn’t check the backseat before backing up. Emily also questions him, noting that Corby has a safety routine he always performs before driving: “That’s the thing though, Corby. You always double-check’” (47).

A doctor comes for them, taking them to a private room where he explains that Niko died in the ambulance. Emily and Betsy leave the room to see Niko’s body against the doctor’s recommendation. While waiting, Corby’s mind races, passing through reenactments of the incident and when he got his first DUI, as well as worrying about the future. He is interrupted by Detective Tunisia Sparks, accompanied by Fazio and Longo.

Detective Sparks offers condolences for Corby’s loss, then begins questioning him on the details of the morning. They go through the events, with Sparks asking multiple questions to extract details from Corby. He cries and struggles with his painful emotions, lashing out at Sparks and asking if she has children.

Sparks questions Corby about what happened before the incident, starting with Corby’s current lack of employment and moving to the events that took place earlier in the morning, including him leaving the stove on when he left the kitchen to get the twins. She asks if he was drinking, arguing the officers smelled alcohol on him. He says that he had a large drink in the early hours of the morning when he can’t sleep. He also says he took one of his prescribed Ativan, but denies mixing alcohol and his medication. When Sparks says the blood samples will “tell the truth” (57), Corby gets loud and defensive: “What are you trying to get me to say? That my son is dead because I was drunk? Strung out on benzos?’” (57).

When another patient creates a disturbance, Fazio and Longo leave to help, and Sparks requests that Corby come to the police station the following afternoon to continue questioning. He agrees, saying he will find a way to get there, as his car has been impounded pending the investigation. Before leaving, she says that she thinks Corby is lying, but she stops as Emily and Betsy return from visiting Niko’s body. Emily rushes at Corby, hitting and yelling at him, then letting him hold her.

The Ledbetters spend hours at the hospital going through the administrative details. Betsy offers to pick up Maisie but doesn’t know what to tell her about Niko. She says she will Google it. As Corby and Emily go through the administrative hoops, Emily maintains a noticeable physical and emotional distance, while Corby’s thoughts begin to spiral as he imagines what his future will be like.

Dividing the tasks with Vicki, Betsy returns to the hospital to drive Corby and Emily home, where they are greeted by Vicki. Emily is upset that Maisie is asleep in her crib, and she has her mother bring Maisie into Emily’s bedroom, ordering Corby to sleep someplace else.

Left with Vicki, Corby refuses food, instead pulling out his hidden rum bottle and pouring a drink. Vicki agrees to tell Corby’s dad about Niko’s death, as Corby is bitter about disappointing his father. He tells his mother that he can’t handle a “pep talk,” then explains that there will be an investigation, and he will likely be arrested.

When he sees the burnt French toast in the garbage, Corby breaks down, and Vicki comforts him and gives him two THC gummies. She leaves, and Corby flushes the gummies down the toilet, scared of what might happen if he takes one or if Maisie got ahold of them. After, he knocks on the bedroom door, but Emily ignores him, and he leaves.

Corby wakes to a late-night call from his drunken father who gives condolences for Niko’s death and gives Corby the information of a lawyer—Rachel Dixon—who has agreed to meet Corby in the morning. Unable to get back to sleep, Corby reflects on a good memory with the children while looking at a photograph. His thoughts spiral. He tries to get into his bedroom for his Ativan but has been locked out, so he drinks instead, setting an alarm for the next morning.

Corby wakes up and realizes his alarm was set wrong, so he is now running late. He rushes out of the house, taking his rum with him and taking Emily’s car. He throws the rum bottle into the woods before arriving at Dixon’s office. He storms in, disheveled and late. Dixon says she can’t see him now, but agrees to talk to him if he comes back. They go over a few details, including the blood test, Corby’s Ativan and alcohol use, and his prior DUI. She encourages him to lie and say that he took a drink and a pill when he went inside to find his phone to call Emily after the accident. Doing so could result in the blood tests being deemed inadmissible in court.

Corby gets coffee and considers Dixon’s idea. He gets into Emily’s car and begins driving without a location in mind. He thinks of Maisie and the harm he has caused, and he contemplates death by suicide. Stopping at a bar, he goes in for a drink, but leaves when he sees a news story about his family’s tragedy. He gets an apologetic text from Emily requesting his presence at a meeting at the funeral home that afternoon, but he ignores the message and continues driving south.

He rationalizes that people—even presidents—lie to protect themselves, and he worries if he can pull off such a big lie. He drives to the river and wonders why he was drawn to it.

Sitting by the river, Corby reflects on Emily’s pregnancy and the twins’ birth. While she delivered Maisie vaginally, Niko, due to complications, had to be delivered by C-section. After a brief memory of taking a nature walk with his father, he falls into another memory of Niko developing jaundice when he was a few days old. Corby then reminisces about watching the twins grow and develop an intense bond with each other.

He hikes along the river with his spiraling thoughts and stops when he sees a great blue heron. He speaks aloud to Niko, apologizing, and he pulls gravel from the river and throws it in his own face and hits himself repeatedly. He stops when the heron flies away. He hikes back to the car, texting Emily that he is on his way.

Corby goes with Emily to the funeral home to make burial arrangements. When they get home, Corby tells Emily the truth—that he has been abusing his Ativan and alcohol. She tells him he can’t live at home. He leaves to speak with Sparks, confessing to her as well.

Corby attends court and is charged with involuntary manslaughter. Dixon argues for Corby to be released bail-free until sentencing, but the prosecutor—Bettina Reitland—argues strongly against her. After asking more questions and deliberating, the judge sets a $25,000 bail for Corby. Vicki uses her home as collateral and lets Corby stay with her. She agrees with Corby that it is a good sign that Emily is willing to participate in counseling and to let Corby see Maisie. Corby apologizes for his anger and thanks his mother. She is frustrated that Corby is being prosecuted when countless other people have driven under the influence. Vicki also describes the grief she is feeling.

Three days later, Corby attends an Alcoholics Anonymous, or AA, meeting. He listens to the other attendees, but he does not share, and he inwardly criticizes the religious aspects of the group. After, he is approached by a man, Dale, who saw Corby on TV. He explains that he badly injured his niece while driving drunk. Dale gives Corby his number in case Corby wants to talk.

Corby visits Maisie at the house. While Emily stays, she does not supervise them. Together, they eat lunch, watch shows, and cuddle. When he puts Maisie down for her nap, she asks for Niko. He shows her a picture of Niko and is hit with an intense wave of grief. He calms himself, then sits in the rain to wait for his mother, politely refusing Emily’s offer to wait inside.

Later, Corby craves alcohol, so he leaves his mother’s house to go to the liquor store. However, he stops and calls Dale, meeting him at a truck stop instead of drinking. Dale talks tells Corby the details of his accident: He was driving his niece to her gymnastics practice and hit a car. She received a serious brain injury and died from complications a few years later. He says that guilt and shame like that are permanent, “You just have to figure out how to live with yourself without drinking over it” (98). While dropping Corby back at Vicki’s, Dale explains that Corby doesn’t need to believe in God for AA to work. Corby agrees he won’t drink.

Emily and Corby attend their first session with psychologist Dr. Beena Patel, who specializes in partners navigating grief. They sit, and Emily rejects Corby’s attempt to hold her hand. She gets upset when Corby jokes with Dr. Patel, and she rolls her eyes when the doctor says her role is to help and not judge.

The session is tense and argumentative, with Emily angrily accusing Corby of selfish negligence and Corby both demeaning and defending himself. Dr. Patel emphasizes that the grieving process is a unique experience for individuals: “[A]lthough you have lost the same child, your relationship with him will have been different” (106). Dr. Patel also suggests they see her individually and advises them to find support groups, to avoid sexual intimacy, and to talk about Niko instead of suppressing memories of him, even if it makes people uncomfortable.

Before parting, Dr. Patel has them name their respective goals. Corby wants to save his marriage with Emily, while Emily wants to find “clarity.” If they continue, Dr. Patel explains, she will work on treating them for trauma before moving on to processing their grief. She directs them toward the Butterfly Project, which is aimed at supporting families where a twin or a multiple has died.

Corby and Emily argue on the drive back. Emily is so angry she begins driving recklessly, almost crashes, and has to briefly pull over to calm herself.

Corby goes to Dixon’s office, stopping to buy her a chocolate cupcake from a nearby bakery. They go over the information to be presented at his sentencing, including the official investigation report, letters of support, and records of his attendance at AA and NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meetings. Dixon is cautiously optimistic, as Corby has only a few mild infractions on his record, and he has put a lot of effort into his recovery.

The next day, Corby discusses his panic attacks and anxiety with Dr. Patel. She cautions him against worrying about potential future events that haven’t happened yet. Dr. Patel redirects Corby when he starts degrading himself, returning to the topic of his flashbacks and panic attacks. She gives him some behavioral tools to mitigate his anxiety, including breathing, sensory, and counting exercises. Before parting, they discuss a quote from Corrie ten Boom, “Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength’” (119). Later that night, he takes his “Big Book” from AA, does a sensory exercise, and reflects on the quote Dr. Patel shared. He is then able to sleep.

During the sentencing, Reitland, the prosecutor, makes her argument first, emphasizing that Corby deserves to go to prison and that Niko deserves justice. Corby uses calming techniques to bear the experience. He watches Emily, who does not return his gaze and who has lost weight. Corby is surprised to see his father sitting next to his mother. Corby has been relying on Dale—his sponsor—and Dr. Patel for support, but Dr. Patel is not at court. Reitland reads a letter from Betsy calling for retribution, and she argues that Corby took 78 years away from Niko. Dixon objects to the speculation, but the judge sustains the objection, and Corby breaks down crying.

Dixon speaks for Corby, arguing he is a good father and that he has taken significant steps toward his own rehabilitation. She also reads a letter from Dr. Patel recommending Corby not be sentenced to prison, as it could harm his rehabilitation process. Niko’s death, she argues, is the strongest form of punishment Corby could endure.

The judge deliberates for a time. Before reading the sentence, the presiding Judge Palazzolo says that, although it was an extremely difficult decision to make, she is sentencing Corby to three years of prison and three years of parole.

While being handcuffed and taken away, Corby watches his loved ones and sees Dr. Patel, who offers him a “compassionate smile” before he is taken outside and loaded into a transport van.