The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

Peck holds that love is an action rather than a feeling. While genuine love may begin with the experience of falling in love, the only way to foster lasting, loving relationships is to make the conscious choice to love another person. Like self-discipline, love requires effort and will. If you love someone, you will actively participate in their life, listen to their thoughts and feelings, devote time to their care, accept their critiques, and offer reciprocal support. Each of these actions is an important step that exemplifies your choice to commit yourself to that person. A committed, loving relationship requires making daily choices to be with and value another person.

Peck asserts that life’s meaning can be found in its difficulty. A key facet of the human experience is suffering. However, this suffering can offer opportunities for growth. Each problem or challenge that you encounter can be seen as a moment in which the universe (or humanity’s collective unconscious) is offering you a chance to examine yourself, question your world, or embrace new experiences and beliefs. Once you accept the idea that life will always present you with challenges, it will be easier to perceive these challenges as avenues for personal development. By taking responsibility for your struggles, maintaining an open mind, and assuming a skeptical stance, you will build a new outlook on your struggles and learn to grow.

Peck defines grace as instances of unexpected beauty, love, or clarity. Grace can happen to anyone. It may occur in the form of revelatory dreams, passing thoughts, linguistic slips, or uncanny coincidences. Such moments of serendipity or synchronicity are messages from the divine or the collective unconscious. If you open yourself to the possibility of communicating with the universe, the divine, or your ancestors, you will discover enlightening pathways to personal growth. Grace can choose you, but you must also choose grace. Stay awake to life’s surprises, as they might be moments of grace that can lead you toward a more joyful, realized life.

Peck holds that when people takes responsibility for themselves, they are exhibiting maturity and prioritizing personal growth. No life is untouched by trouble or frustration. However, it is important to discern when this trouble originates from “stuck” aspects of your life. Remain self-aware and practice self-reflection so that you will understand how your actions are impacting your mental health and your relationships. When you blame others for your problems, you disempower yourself. Once you claim responsibility, you are better able to make meaningful changes and experience new growth. Blaming others for your stuck points will only trap you in your troubles and distance you from your loved ones.