The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

Peck argues that practicing self-discipline can help people feel more in control of their lives, freeing them to make important decisions. Self-discipline can be achieved by using four basic skills: delaying gratification, assuming responsibility for your actions and problems, dedicating yourself to the truth, and balancing. When you implement these skills, you are exercising your agency over your life. Self-discipline naturally requires hard work, but this work is within your power. Once you recognize your power to set and maintain boundaries, prioritize honesty, and balance selfishness with selflessness, you will be free to achieve a more realized identity and a more deeply enjoyable life.

Peck holds that love is an action rather than a feeling. While genuine love may begin with the experience of falling in love, the only way to foster lasting, loving relationships is to make the conscious choice to love another person. Like self-discipline, love requires effort and will. If you love someone, you will actively participate in their life, listen to their thoughts and feelings, devote time to their care, accept their critiques, and offer reciprocal support. Each of these actions is an important step that exemplifies your choice to commit yourself to that person. A committed, loving relationship requires making daily choices to be with and value another person.