The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

Chapter 5 asserts that the only way to overcome life’s problems is to acknowledge their existence, take responsibility, and accept the task of facing them. Peck offers examples from his clients’ lives to illustrate the dangers of denying responsibility. One client was a sergeant in Okinawa who kept getting in trouble for drinking too much. Peck offered other possible pastimes  but the client made excuses and insisted there was nothing else to do in Okinawa but drink. He was telling Peck that although he could occupy his time differently, he didn’t want to change. His denial precluded him from resolving his problem. The same was true for another of Peck’s clients. She had attempted suicide, which Peck learned was caused by her depression and isolation. He made suggestions for how she could make connections, but she insisted that they were all impossible, and as a result, her life remained unchanged. Peck asserts that because these clients wouldn’t take responsibility, they couldn’t exercise their agency.

In Chapter 6, Peck focuses on the idea that finding balance in life is a key to sustaining mental health, while assuming too much or too little responsibility can lead to mental and emotional disorders. Peck believes that the mission of maintaining mental and emotional balance is a lifelong project that is central to the human experience. With this approach, it is best not to worry if you find it difficult to juggle your responsibilities. Peck stresses the importance of remaining aware of life’s changes, so that you can evolve along with your life circumstances.

In Chapter 7, Peck states that refusing to accept responsibility for yourself might be a sign that you’re allowing fear to dictate your life. You can find personal freedom by acknowledging your problems and regaining control of your challenges. Peck uses an experience from medical school as an example. Peck was voluntarily taking on too much work, but when he blamed the program for his lack of time, his professor helped him see that he was not taking responsibility for himself. He learned that by blaming everyone else, he was ceding his own power.

In Chapter 8, the text conducts an overview of how individuals develop life maps during childhood and use them as guides for the rest of their lives. If you’re feeling stuck in your adult life, examine the map you created as a child and make changes to match your current life circumstances. If you don’t amend your childhood map, you might become stuck in old patterns of behavior or thought. Growing requires redrawing your map according to new circumstances and relationships. This is a prime way to stay alert to your personal reality.

Chapter Lessons

• Once you take responsibility for your problems, it’s easier to confront life’s challenges in meaningful ways.
• Balancing life’s pain and pleasure is central to the human experience.
• Once you claim responsibility for your decisions and your life, you will feel more empowered and capable. Conversely, if you don’t claim responsibility for yourself, you might remain trapped and powerless.
• Everyone creates a life map in childhood which helps them understand reality as a child. When you feel stuck, redraw your life map in order to evolve with the changes in your life. 

Reflection Questions

• Identify two problems in your life that you’re reluctant to accept responsibility for. Why are you afraid of accepting these challenges? What are the possible risks and benefits of accepting these problems?
• Peck describes the key aspects of neuroses and character disorders. Which description resonates with your experience? What do you find difficult about assuming (or not assuming) responsibility?
• Are there areas in your life in which you are ceding control? How might the act of claiming responsibility in these areas empower you?
• How did your life map appear in early childhood? Are there aspects of this map on which you still rely? Which aspects of your childhood map might need revision?