The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

In Chapter 14, Peck argues that love requires will, desire, and self-awareness, and that to be more loving, people must be in control of their emotions. However, he then uses highly problematic, racist metaphor to illustrate this point by comparing emotions to enslaved peoples and the individual to the enslaver, arguing that individuals must maintain control over their emotions without causing them too much harm. Peck then argues that genuine love can only extend to a small group of people. He believes that an individual cannot love a large network of people equally. Instead, he holds that genuine love is best manifested in the context of a select few relationships.

Chapter 15 asserts that truly loving relationships are built upon respect, boundaries, and individuality. Peck interrogates the notion that a committed relationship requires two individuals to merge into one new whole. Instead, he asserts that each partner must preserve their individuality and autonomy within their relationships. This model staves off unhealthy dependency and domination. The same is true in effective parental relationships. Parents mustn’t see their children as extensions of themselves; instead, they should regard their children as separate, autonomous entities. In marriages, casting off chauvinistic gender stereotypes is also essential to fostering reciprocal, effective dynamics.