The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

Chapter 9 asserts that love requires care and intention. To build sustainable, loving relationships, Peck stresses the importance of paying attention and listening. Listening can feel exhausting or bothersome. However, when we fully attune ourselves to our loved ones, we’re showing them that they are valuable and worthy. This applies to parental, spousal, and platonic relationships. Putting in the work to listen to our loved ones will transform our relationships.

Chapter 10 states that love requires risk. If you take the risk to love another genuinely, you will be able to face your fears, discover your courage, and grow as a person. Peck gives one of his clients as an example. She chose to self-isolate and avoid social interaction because she was too afraid to open herself to others. This phenomenon, Peck argues, originates from a fear of death. If the individual opens herself to love, she opens herself to loss. However, this risk creates opportunities for joy.

In Chapter 11, Peck argues that growing up is another risk the individual must take to pursue personal growth. He defines “growing up” as the process of transitioning from childhood into adulthood. Although a familiar concept, he argues that it’s difficult to let go of our youthful tendencies, parental dependencies, or adolescent insecurities.