The Silence Between Us

Days pass without any response from the Steaming Bean about a specific interview time. Maya begins to worry that when they learned she was Deaf and would need an interpreter for the interview, the coffee shop decided against interviewing her. Finally, she receives an email claiming that the position has already been filled and canceling her interview. Although she pretends to Kathleen that she is not hurt and suspicious and that she still feels optimistic about finding a job, she is unable to pretend in front of Beau. Beau is angry, but Maya points out that she suffers discrimination every day—some teachers avoid calling on her, for instance, or plan activities that she has no way to participate in. Other students seldom speak to her in the hallway, and some stare at her when she has to adjust her hearing aids. People give her pitying looks when she is out in public. Beau struggles to understand her resignation, and she explains that she has to choose which battles are worth fighting. Beau asks whether she has considered cochlear implants, and, fed up with constantly being asked this question, she explains her feelings about CI a little more harshly than she intends to. Maya is left wondering what kind of future she has with Beau if he is going to get this upset and confused every time she suffers some kind of discrimination.

When Maya meets with her guidance counselor to talk about her Cartwright orientation, Mrs. Stephens asks if something is bothering her. Maya has not been able to shake off the canceled interview, but she tells her counselor she is fine. Mrs. Stephens helps Maya schedule an appointment at Cartwright to talk with the Disability Resource Office about an interpreter. Although Kathleen assures Maya that getting an interpreter will not be a problem, Maya begins to worry about what will happen if she cannot get one. When the day of the meeting comes, her mother goes with her to interpret. The meeting goes badly: Maya is told she will need to submit paperwork from her doctor proving that she is Deaf and then she will be put on a waitlist for interpreters. Maya may have to delay her enrollment for a semester or longer, until an interpreter is available. Maya is upset. She does not believe there is a shortage of interpreters in the world—instead, she believes that colleges are not making interpreters for Deaf students a priority because they do not really believe Deaf students can be successful. In the car, she tells her mother that she is worried this is a sign that she is not meant to go to college or become a respiratory therapist. Her mother responds that Maya is young and sometimes gets thrown too easily when things do not go exactly as she expects them to. Things will get better, her mother tells her, but Maya has to be patient.

Beau and Nina struggle to understand why Maya’s visit to Cartwright was so upsetting. Maya explains that she has to work much harder than most people to be successful and that it does not seem like much to ask for just this one thing to go right for her. She feels frustrated that they claim to understand but still urge her to just be patient. Nina tells Maya that they want to do something to celebrate her upcoming 18th birthday. Maya is touched: Her friends remember that her birthday is coming up, while she herself had forgotten, preoccupied as she is by other things. She tells them that she does not want to celebrate her birthday, but they insist that it is important. Maya makes Nina promise that any celebration will be small. Later, Maya tells Kathleen about the interpreter problem at Cartwright and is very grateful when Kathleen offers to make a few phone calls to see if she can get any more information for Maya.

On the Saturday of Maya’s birthday, Connor is not feeling well and Maya tries to cancel her plans with Nina and Beau so she can stay home to spend time with and comfort Connor. Nina responds that they will bring the party to Maya’s house. Beau and Nina show up with pizza, balloons, and presents. Maya has fun watching everyone talk and enjoy the pizza, and then Nina announces that it is time for presents. Maya opens some small gifts from Nina and a joint gift from Nina and Beau—a gift certificate to Cartwright’s bookstore. Her mother gives her several presents as well. Finally, Beau gives her his own copy of Jane Eyre. He has written a note that Maya is like the main character and added a quote from the novel: “I am no bird, and no net ensnares me” (270). Maya is moved by this, and she repeats the phrase to herself as everyone digs into birthday cake. Maya enjoys the small celebration very much. Unfortunately, as Beau gets ready to leave, he gives her a final present that she finds upsetting: information on cochlear implants. When Maya reacts angrily, Beau explains that he researched the procedure and doctors who perform it because he was trying to help with the Cartwright situation. Maya worries that his real motive is that he does not like her being Deaf, and she is frustrated that he will not accept that she is happy being Deaf. She also feels that he pities her and is, once again, trying to rescue her when she doesn’t need rescuing.

When Maya doesn’t get out of bed on Sunday morning, her mother comes into her room to find out what happened between her and Beau. Maya resists telling her at first, but finally explains. Her mother understands why she is angry, but she counsels Maya that relationships sometimes have hard patches and do not have to end just because they hit a snag. As Maya considers why she is so angry at Beau for assuming she is interested in cochlear implants, she realizes that she is just as guilty of making unfounded assumptions about him. She texts Melissa for advice. Melissa understands why Maya is upset, but she tells Maya to communicate with Beau about her feelings. She says that if after Maya is clear about what she is thinking and feeling, Beau still cannot see that Deaf people “don’t need to be fixed,” he is not worth Maya’s time (279).

When Beau tries to talk to Maya at school on Monday morning, Maya tells him that she is not ready to talk to him. In history class, Jackson is talking to a classmate and refers to Maya as a “disabled chick” that he believes Beau is only dating to impress people with what a good person he is (283). Maya can clearly lip read the conversation, and she angrily tells Jackson that she is not “disabled” and, furthermore, he should stop talking about her and Beau with other people, because their relationship is none of his business. She reflects that Beau could never be so cruel as to date her for the reason Jackson suggests.

On Tuesday morning, Maya stops at Beau’s locker before school to talk with him. He tells her that after their conversation about his college plans, he found the courage to tell his father that he does not want to become a doctor. Maya is proud of him, but she also needs to tell him that if they are going to be in a relationship he will have to accept that she is happy being Deaf and will never change this by getting cochlear implants. Beau apologizes and tells her that he fully understands that she does not need him to intervene and try to help her when she has not asked for help. They agree to a fresh start, even pretending to introduce themselves all over again. They walk down the hall chatting about Beau’s future college plans and agreeing that each of their lives is better because of the support they can offer one another.

A year after the events of Chapter 36 take place, Maya is on spring break from Cartwright and has just completed the first day of an internship at a local clinic. Beau and Nina are waiting for her in the parking lot. She rushes to throw her arms around Beau, whom she has not seen since Christmastime, since he is now studying literature at Yale. Maya and Nina see one another often, as Nina is at UC Boulder. Suddenly, Maya realizes that there is a third person with Nina and Beau: it is Melissa, whom Beau and Nina have flown in as a belated surprise birthday present for Maya’s 19th birthday. Maya is overjoyed to see Melissa, whom she has not seen in person since her family moved to Colorado. They all drive off together in Nina’s car, and Maya realizes how seamlessly her two worlds—Deaf and hearing—are now blended. As long as she has such wonderful people in her life, it no longer matters to her who is Deaf and who is hearing.