The Soloist: A Lost Dream, an Unlikely Friendship

“My chance encounter had affirmed a golden rule in journalism: everyone has a story, so get out of the office and talk to people.”

Lopez points to the aspect of human experience in journalism. It is not sufficient to merely apprehend facts—one must also dig deep to get a person’s story. In this way, he touches on the theme of art’s significance: it penetrates to what is true and moving in human experience. 

“You’re only as good or bad as your latest attempt to make some connection with the world, and Nathaniel’s story hits like nothing I’ve written before.”

These lines also comment upon the work of journalism. Although it presents many opportunities to connect with art, it is a difficult business. One must keep producing effective and moving pieces in order to survive in the industry. 

“The cello lets forth a deeper cry than the violin did, and it’s better equipped to compete with the sounds of wheels turning.”

Lopez uses personification to underline the power of musical instruments. For Ayers, his instrument is more than just an object—it connects him to something higher. These lines also underline the contrast between the beauty of Ayers’s music and the surrounding squalor. 

“Nathaniel’s music is a nice touch to so busy an asylum, and it’s appropriately schizophrenic, too, lovely at times and lost at others.”

Ayers’s playing of his music points to his own character. It is not smooth and even but rather moves between beauty and ugliness. In this way, it symbolizes the contrasts in Ayers’s own character and connects to the motif of squalor versus elegance. 

“Every assignment there—murder, mayhem, ribbon cuttings, courtroom drama, meetings and more mayhem—was an education.”

Lopez references his earlier work as a young reporter at the Oakland Tribune. He describes his voracious appetite for his craft. He is willing to learn everything about his field, and he greets this education with enthusiasm. These lines tie into the theme of art’s importance in Lopez’s life. 

“The first order of business is to establish the makings of a relationship that extends beyond the illness.”

This perspective comes from Dr. Ragins of the Village. Throughout the book, Lopez seeks to learn about the “right” way to treat mental illness. Dr. Ragins embraces the more personal approach. It is not just about diagnosis but rather about connecting to each individual person. 

“I wonder if Nathaniel’s take on race has something to do with having left an all-black neighborhood in Cleveland and ending up in an elite New York school where blacks were scarce.”

Lopez speculates as to why Ayers embraces some racists tendencies. Racial inequality is a prominent theme in the book. Lopez suggests that it is a foundation of the rampant homelessness and inequality in Los Angeles and also one of the reasons Ayers has ended up in the situation that he currently finds himself. 

“My mind would not strive to do all that it could do to keep me lean and interested in staying healthy.”

Ayers presents his own take on his mental illness. With schizophrenia, it is as if one is separated from oneself. Ayers’s mind is not on his side, and it is not working to help him succeed and stay healthy. This is a moment of clarity for Ayers—he is able to step back and view his illness as if from the outside. 

“I don’t have any intention of abandoning the relationship, but I don’t have the stamina to serve indefinitely as his keeper, worrying about his safety while trying to be a columnist, husband and father.”

After six months, Lopez reflects on his relationship with Ayers. There are many ups and downs, and it is a test of strength for Lopez. On the one hand, he feels close to Ayers and does not want to abandon him. On the other hand, the relationship is depleting him and cutting into the time he can spend with his family. This relationship is one of the central struggles of Lopez’s character. 

“The difference between us is luck.”

Lopez comments on the theme of racism and inequality. He suggests that their situations could be reversed if Lopez had grown up in the environment and the background of Ayers. In this way, Lopez references his privilege. He continues to grapple with this topic throughout the book, considering himself lucky to be where he is but also feeling some guilt. 

“He said they shouldn’t have to sit near a grubby, nappy-haired bum who goes weeks without bathing.”

Ayers references his own appearance here. He is about to attend a concert at the L.A. Philharmonic and worries about his own appearance. In this way, he underlines the motif of squalor versus elegance. He will feel out of place in so elegant a setting as Disney Hall.

“A half hour earlier I was with a madman. Now I’m with my own personal professor of music appreciation.”

Lopez underlines the contrasts of Ayers’s character. At one moment, he can be in the throes of his mental illness. At the other, he can become clear and coherent, discussing music. These ups and downs are a central theme of Ayers’s character, and one which keeps Lopez hooked to the cause. 

“A Vietnam or WW II amputee can fall out of his wheelchair in the middle of the street, a filthy colostomy bag next to him, and people will walk by as if he isn’t there.”

This is one of Lopez’s many descriptions of Skid Row. It contains those ignored and downtrodden by greater Los Angeles. People will ignore a war veteran on the street as if he does not matter. In this way, Lopez underlines the way the city and the residents are ignoring a pervasive problem. 

“I don’t care if I have to appeal my case to the president of the United States or Stevie Wonder, but I’d do whatever it takes to keep people from messing with me and my things.”

Ayers says these lines in reference to taking a room at Lamp. If he does so, he is afraid people will steal his effects. This dialogue points to the hold mental illness has on Ayers. He would rather continue sleeping on the streets than move indoors because he is paranoid his possessions will be compromised.      

“I drive home, wrung out after another deadline-crashing day, mouth dry, traffic miserable. And he’s in the tunnel, blissfully fiddling his way through the Elgar Cello Concerto.”

Lopez brings up the issue of inequality between himself and Ayers. Although Lopez is tired, he is nonetheless able to return to his comfortable home and family while Ayers will be sleeping outdoors. This description underlines the unavoidable privilege that he possesses, and which Ayers lacks. 

“I feel like Sancho Panza, defending the honor of a man who knows so little of his own frailty.”

Lopez uses allusion to compare Ayers to Don Quixote and himself to Sancho Panza. Don Quixote is a literary character who has the delusion that he is a knight, and Sancho Panza enables him in that delusion. In this way, Lopez points to the dysfunction and disconnect from reality apparent in his relationship with Ayers. 

“I note the irony of my being introduced to so rarefied an artistic community by a homeless man.”

Lopez and Ayers attend a concert by the L.A. Philharmonic, and Lopez meets the cellist Pete Snyder. He underlines the contrasts apparent in Ayers—even though he is homeless, his musical talent connects him to this other world. These lines point to the squalor versus elegance motif as well as Ayers’s tie to music. 

“To him, a little thing like this isn’t such a little thing. It’s a promising breakthrough.”

Ayers leaves his shopping cart in his apartment for the first time. This is significant because the shopping cart represents a sense of security as well as a tie to his previous lifestyle. By leaving the shopping cart, Ayers is taking an important step on a road to recovery. This is a turning point in his character trajectory. 

“‘Beethoven can watch over you in here now.’”

When Ayers moves into his new apartment, Lopez buys him a bust of Beethoven. For Ayers, Beethoven as a concept is very important—he inspires Ayers musically. Beethoven’s statue is also important to Ayers as the objects stands in for the concept. In giving him a Beethoven bust, Lopez is helping Ayers stay connected to the power of music. 

“We connect in part because there is nothing false about him and I come away from every encounter more attuned to my own feelings than I would be after, say, an interview the mayor or the governor.”

Through the ups and downs, Lopez reflects on the positive aspects of his relationship with Ayers. Throughout his career, Lopez has had to endure superficiality. However, none of that is apparent in his relationship with Ayers, who is always true to himself. This, in turn, has been inspiring to Lopez and represents a breath of fresh air in his career. 

“There’s always some better line than the one I just wrote, or a better column idea than the one I’ve got lined up for tomorrow.”

Lopez references his own compulsive tendencies. In his work, there is always the pressure to do more and to do better. He is able to relate these compulsions to his relationship with Ayers. Lopez always wants to come back for more and get Ayers to do a little better—it is as if he is unable to leave him to his own devices. 

“If a friend is someone who inspires, who challenges, who sends you in search of some truer sense of yourself, Nathaniel is indeed a friend.”

As time goes on, Lopez reflects on his relationship with Ayers. Though it does not resemble other relationships in Lopez’s life, it is still a friendship. It has had a significant impact on Lopez, causing him to look deeper within himself and examine his drives and motivations. 

1.       “The cart really is about security, and letting go of it would be like letting go of the side of the pool for the first time.” (Chapter 23, Page 216)

Throughout the book, Ayers pushes around a shopping cart filled with his possessions and instruments. These lines point out that the cart is not merely a physical object but instead an expression of Ayers’s tie to his current lifestyle. Giving up the cart would represent making a potentially frightening step towards recovery.