“At this moment in time, my life is just about perfect.”

In Chapter 1, the narrative’s temporal shift to a year earlier allows McFadden to depict the point from which Abby’s life unravels. The protagonist’s description of her life as “just about perfect” conveys the dramatic change in fortune that she is about to experience.

“Back when I first started working at Stewart, I thought the games were a real hoot. Somewhere between my third and tenth negative pregnancy test, they stopped being so much fun. Around the twentieth negative test, it became a form of torture. When I saw those big, swollen bellies, I wanted to hide in a bathroom stall and sob, not celebrate by making little Franken-babies out of magazine clippings.”

Abby’s reflection on the many baby showers she has attended at Stewart Advertising underlines the novel’s thematic exploration of The Psychological Impact of Infertility. The protagonist conveys her journey from hope to despair in her changing attitude toward the “fun” baby shower activities. The games were initially “a real hoot” when Abby believed that she would be celebrating her own pregnancy one day. However, after years of unsuccessfully trying to conceive, making “little Franken-babies” has become “torture,” painfully reminding the protagonist of her childlessness.

“A guy like him could easily have become a player, but he’s actually somewhat shy and often seems mortified by the impact he has on the opposite sex—like when his students refer to him as Professor McHottie. He wears glasses because contacts are ‘pointless,’ he’s never bought a bottle of hair gel in his life, nor has he ever set foot in an Armani store. Yet in spite of all that, he still manages to turn heads on a regular basis.”

Abby’s description of her husband, Sam, highlights his integrity and trustworthiness. Sam’s embarrassment about his nickname, “Professor McHottie,” implies that he considers his good looks a burden rather than an attribute to be exploited. His lack of interest in his appearance supports the notion that he is free of artifice. This depiction of Sam’s authenticity stands out in a novel that emphasizes the deceptive nature of appearances. Readers are therefore left to ponder whether Sam is as transparently honest as he appears.

“I felt like an absolute failure as a woman. My uterus was damaged, my eggs were of poor quality, and all our attempts at IVF were expensive disasters. I was wracked with guilt that my ‘normal’ husband couldn’t have the child he wanted all thanks to me, even though he swore again and again that he didn’t blame me.”

McFadden delves into the psychological impact of infertility as Abby describes how she feels about being the infertile individual within a partnership. Her assertion that she feels “like an absolute failure as a woman” emphasizes how cultural and societal expectations of women are inextricably linked to the concepts of fertility and motherhood. The passage demonstrates how feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy often compound the challenges of infertility.

“It’s a lot to ask of someone…I mean, we’d be using their egg and their uterus, so we’d be asking them to get pregnant with their own child just to give it up.”

Here, Abby discusses the ramifications of surrogacy with Monica before her assistant offers to become a surrogate mother. The protagonist emphasizes the potential emotional complications of a traditional surrogacy, where the surrogate mother is biologically related to the baby they bring into the world. Her reflections on the Ethical Considerations in Surrogacy foreshadow Monica’s determination to keep the baby.

“She tugs at the top button of her white blouse. She’s got her shirt buttoned all the way up to her throat, although I notice that’s something she often does. Monica is not an unattractive girl, but she seems reluctant to show off her sexuality at work. She usually wears slacks or skirts that fall below the knee. I assume she’s got breasts under there somewhere, but you’d never know it. That’s something I respect about her. Too many girls are willing to flash a little skin to get what they want, but Monica doesn’t go that route. She’s got integrity.”

The motif of clothing is introduced as Abby remarks on Monica’s modest work attire. McFadden highlights how clothing influences the protagonist’s impression of her assistant, luring her into the misguided belief that Monica has “integrity.” In reality, Monica’s androgynous look is a deliberate ploy, encouraging Abby to perceive her as sexually non-threatening. Monica’s concealment of her figure reflects her hidden motives.

“This sounds like a joke. And admittedly, even as the words were leaving my mouth, they sounded comical. Who asks their assistant to carry a fetus for them in her womb? Last month, we got a memo saying we weren’t allowed to have our assistants do laundry for us.”

As Abby reveals to Shelley how Monica has offered to be a surrogate, she is conscious of how the arrangement must sound to others. The protagonist’s awareness that the surrogacy could be perceived as an abuse of her professional power is highlighted in the observation that staff are prohibited from asking their assistants to do their laundry. This raises questions about ethical considerations in surrogacy. Abby’s willingness to risk her professional reputation by proceeding with the arrangement demonstrates her desperation for a child.

“Even though Shelley and I are still best friends, she scrupulously avoids talking about her kids in front of me. We talk about work, our husbands, the latest movies—but never kids.”

The novel explores the psychological impact of infertility as Abby reflects on how it affects her interactions with Shelley, who has children. Shelley’s careful avoidance of the subject of children illustrates her sensitivity toward Abby’s unfulfilled desire to become a mother. However, Shelley’s inability to discuss an important aspect of her life with Abby creates barriers to complete intimacy.

“Sam’s sperm knocked up my assistant on the very first try. We tried for so many years without success. It’s not like I ever doubted that I was the one responsible for our infertility, but I’ve never seen the evidence smacking me in the face like this.”

While Monica’s swift pregnancy brings Abby closer to motherhood, McFadden underlines how the event further erodes her self-esteem. The protagonist feels inadequate as another woman fulfills her role with ease. Abby’s conflicting feelings about the pregnancy underline the psychological impact of infertility.

“She should have asked me. I’m going to be the mother of this child. But I suppose she’s the one carrying the baby.”

Abby’s thought process highlights the blurred boundaries concerning who has parental rights in a surrogacy before the child is born. The protagonist is indignant when Monica asks for health screen tests on the fetus without consulting her. While Abby perceives herself as deserving of ultimate maternal control of the process, she has to remind herself that Monica is the child’s biological mother. Her unspoken feelings emphasize the complex ethical considerations in surrogacy.

“In the time I’ve known Monica, I’ve always thought of her as being somewhat plain. She has some nice features, but she doesn’t wear makeup and she dresses like a choirgirl, which makes her look fairly average. But tonight she looks very different. She’s got on mascara that makes her dark eyes pop, dark red lipstick that complements her jet-black hair, and a low-cut blouse that shows off her now impressive cleavage.”

Abby’s description of Monica sharply contrasts with her earlier observations of her assistant’s innocuous appearance. The innocence of Monica’s former “choirgirl” image is juxtaposed with the sexual connotations of her red lipstick and “impressive cleavage.” Monica’s dramatic physical transformation into a desirable woman marks her emergence as a threatening presence in the narrative.

“I watch them walk down the street together, getting farther and farther away from me.”

Abby describes watching Monica and Sam as they walk to a café together while she must return to work. The visual image of the couple disappearing on the horizon emphasizes Abby’s increasing sense of isolation. Monica’s physical separation of Sam and Abby echoes her intention to create emotional distance between the Adlers.

“I watch in disbelief as my assistant speaks with the executives while I tidy up the coffee.”

McFadden depicts a reversal of professional roles as Denise instructs Abby to clean up while Monica is invited to talk to the Cuddles marketing executives. The incident underlines the dramatic power shift between the protagonist and antagonist as Monica undermines and usurps Abby in her personal life and the workplace.

“I feel like someone punched me in the gut. How could there have been meth in my urine? That’s not possible! I don’t take meth. I don’t even know how to take meth. Do you snort it? Smoke it? Chew it? Mix it in a blender with bananas and yogurt?”

Abby’s sense of disorientation when methamphetamines are discovered in her routine drug test highlights Monica’s success in distorting the other characters’ perceptions of reality. The protagonist underlines the farcical nature of this seemingly incontrovertible evidence as she points out that she does not even know how meth is taken. Her suggestion that the drug could be mixed “in a blender with bananas and yogurt” is characteristic of the dark flashes of humor throughout the narrative.

“I stare at him in disbelief. I look down at my hands, which are shaking badly. I don’t know what’s going on here. Is it possible I’m a meth addict and don’t know it? Maybe I have one of those conditions where I black out and have a whole other life on the side. Is that possible? Because he’s right—there’s only one logical explanation for all of this.”

Sam’s discovery of the crystal meth planted in Abby’s drawers marks a pivotal moment in the narrative, as he disbelieves his wife’s claim of innocence. The novel highlights the fragile nature of trust in intimate relationships since Sam is convinced by the evidence that Monica has planted. The antagonist’s skillful manipulation of appearances is underscored when Abby begins to doubt her own perception of events.

“I stumble out of bed and hit the bathroom. When I see myself in the mirror over the sink, I almost gasp. I look awful. My hair has that Bride of Frankenstein look it always gets when I’ve slept too long, and there are a few new gray hairs that weren’t there the last time I looked at myself. There are deep purple circles under my eyes and my cheeks are hollowed out. Honestly, if someone held up a photo of a woman who looked like me and said she was a meth addict, I’d believe it. No wonder Sam was suspicious.”

McFadden charts Abby’s corresponding physical decline as Monica’s manipulation takes its psychological toll. The protagonist’s disheveled “Bride of Frankenstein” hair contrasts with earlier descriptions of its silky texture, underlining how she cannot maintain her former polished image. Visible signs of aging, such as gray hairs, add to Abby’s growing belief that she cannot compete with the younger woman. Meanwhile, Abby’s observation that her hollowed out cheeks make her look like a “meth addict” convey Monica’s skill in turning lies into reality.

“Sam always seemed like he loved me for me. If anything, he always seemed to resent the fact that I had so much money—he never let me spring for things we could afford, like a spot in the parking garage. Then again, he loved the condo that we could never have afforded without my money.”

McFadden explores Deception and Trust in Relationships when Abby learns that Monica told her parents that she was having an affair with Sam. Although the claim is untrue, the author conveys Abby’s thought processes as her faith in her husband is eroded. Questioning every aspect of her marriage, she concludes that Sam cunningly concealed his financial motivations for marrying her.

“When I return to the kitchen, I smell frying eggs, which makes my stomach growl in spite of my semi-hangover. It reminds me of Sam’s attempts to cook an omelet for breakfast a few months ago. He put too many eggs in the pan, and the center of the omelet was completely raw while the outside was dark brown. We nicknamed it ‘Salmonella Surprise.’ We laughed a lot that morning.”

This passage emphasizes the novel’s recurring motif of food and drink. Gertie’s seemingly generous gesture of cooking Abby breakfast reminds the protagonist of Sam’s disastrous attempt to cook an omelet. Abby’s reference to the omelet as “Salmonella Surprise” foreshadows the revelation that Gertie’s more appetizing breakfast is intended to kill her. Sam’s well-meaning creation of a potentially dangerous dish is juxtaposed with Gertie’s ruthlessly calculated intentions.

“When she tapes my wrists, I realize any chance I had to escape has gone out of the window. I never even tried. I’ve read all these books and newspaper articles about people who rose to the occasion when they were in danger, and then stories about people who just sat there and let themselves be killed. I always believed I’d be in the former category. If it came down to it, I believed I’d be a hero.”

Abby’s physical powerlessness is emphasized as she is bound and gagged by Monica. Although the protagonist berates herself for failing to make a dramatic escape attempt, she goes on to display heroic attributes by using her intellect against the antagonist.

“‘But she’s my wife,’ Sam says. And he says it so simply, like it’s an immutable fact that once a person is wed, they are mated for life. As he says those words, I don’t understand how I ever could have doubted his fidelity. That is Sam all over—undyingly faithful.”

Sam’s loyalty to Abby is illustrated by his perplexity at Monica’s insistence that he should abandon his wife for her. Abby’s faith in her husband is fully restored as she realizes that the “affair” between Sam and their surrogate is a fantasy created by Monica. In an environment where appearances are often deceptive, Sam’s enduring dependability serves as a stabilizing force.

“I grit my teeth. Would it kill him to pretend to be interested in her for a few minutes, just until we can get the gun away from her? People do that in the movies all the time.”

McFadden humorously alludes to well-worn thriller tropes as Abby wishes that Sam would pretend to return Monica’s affection to lull her into a false sense of security. Sam’s inability to deceive Monica, despite the life-or-death scenario, underlines his integrity.

“I’m going to die knowing how much my husband loves me. That’s worth something.”

Abby’s thoughts as she anticipates Monica shooting her emphasize the value of trust in intimate relationships. The knowledge that Sam loves her and did not betray her offers comfort even in the face of impending death.

“Thanks to my son, there isn’t one day that goes by when I don’t think of that woman. There isn’t a day when I don’t search his face for traces of her features. I will never stop watching his behavior, wondering if he’ll end up like she was.”

In the novel’s Epilogue, the narrative emphasizes the price of surrogacy for Abby. Although her dream of motherhood is finally fulfilled and she loves David, the protagonist remains painfully aware of her son’s inextricable link to his biological mother. Abby’s declaration that she will “never stop watching his behavior” conveys her fear that David has inherited Monica’s mental instability. Her hypervigilance of similarities between mother and son shows how her happiness is tainted by unease.