The Survivor Wants to Die at the End

“I can’t handle this pressure to keep living when I have nothing to live for. I need to live my life—and my death—how I see fit.”

Paz makes this statement at the beginning of the novel when his mental health is at a low ebb. Though his belief that he has nothing to live for is a product of his mental illness and not an objective reality, his declaration of independence to live and die as he wishes articulates The Tension Between Free Will and Determinism that drives not only his choices but Alano’s as well. Both boys are limited by external circumstances, and Death-Cast only intensifies their sense of entrapment.

“My lungs and abs are on fire, but my heart is broken that fighting for a life as restrictive as mine is so pointless.”

Alano has just finished a self-defense coaching session with Dane. The latter advises him to fight for what matters most to him. Alano realizes that nothing in his current life matters enough to stir a sense of self-preservation. His mental state echoes Paz’s, but his material advantages stand in contrast to Paz’s disadvantages. The notion that a privileged boy could feel such despair underscores the reality that Death-Cast’s corporate greed has negative impacts across all social classes.

“I got bullied hard as a kid. I’ve watched my dreams die. It was hard reading about Vale becoming immortal because living forever felt so suffocating. I honestly saw Death as the true hero since he saved people from having to live in this terrible world.”

Paz is talking to Orion and explaining his attraction to the character of Death in the fantasy novel Golden Heart. In Paz’s view, death delivers people from the misery of life. This view is influenced by Paz’s borderline personality disorder, which the novel inaccurately portrays as nearly synonymous with suicidality.