The Survivor Wants to Die at the End

Aside from the determinism that Death-Cast introduces into the world and the external pressures forcing Paz and Alano to conform to acceptable roles, both boys also face internal challenges. Paz has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, making emotional regulation difficult for him. Alano’s brain possesses the trait of hyperthymesia, threatening to push him into a mental health crisis whenever he becomes emotionally overloaded. Over the course of the novel, they become each other’s main source of emotional support, giving each other a reason to live even as everything else in their lives feels hopeless.

While the families of each boy attempt to construct an emotional support network for them, the results are far from ideal. Over the course of the novel, Paz and Alano learn that the best sanctuary they can find is in the unconditional love that they give each other. Alano says, “At a time where best friends are turning me into a stranger and assassins are trying to kill me, I feel safest when I’m with the boy known for his destructive spirit” (615). This irony—that a boy seen by the rest of the world as inherently violent is a source of safety for Alano—suggests that Paz and Alano see each other clearly while the rest of the world sees them both through the distorting lens of celebrity.

Until they cross paths, each boy is living in an echo chamber created by their families. They become defined by the needs and opinions of their parents and even by the hatred aimed at them by complete strangers. Consequently, they never see themselves clearly because they are seeing themselves through the distorted lenses of other people’s perceptions. Late in the story, Paz comes to realize this when he says, “I’m done trying to win back love from the rest of the world. I only wanna be loved by someone who sees me for who I am, scars and all, and never looks away. I only wanna be loved by Alano Rosa” (530).

Paz teaches Alano how to become defiant. This quality is important when Alano must stand up to his overbearing father. For his part, Alano teaches Paz how to feel hopeful. On the night they first meet, he asks Paz to write an obituary for himself at the age of 100. Much to his surprise, Paz finds himself wanting to fulfill all the goals he might achieve if he kept on living. Near the end of the novel, he recalls this early moment: “I’m up against a world that doesn’t know me but hates me anyway, but I’m gonna keep fighting until my life looks like my dream obituary” (614). From the very beginning of their relationship, Alano gives Paz something he hasn’t had since early childhood: a sense that life is worth living. Critics of the novel have noted, however, that living only for another person’s love is unsustainable and dangerous, especially for people with borderline personality disorder. This co-dependency is as likely to lead to Paz’s death as to rescue him: Indeed, the moment Paz fears that Alano no longer loves him, he is once again ready to end his life.

Alano’s acceptance makes it possible for Paz to think positively of himself, but even at the end of the novel, he cannot imagine a life without Alano. When he cannot prevent Alano from jumping off the building in the final scene, he chooses to die with him rather than lose him. Only when Paz is in acute danger does Alano regain the will to live in order to rescue him. . Paz concludes, “Love saved us tonight, and as long as we stay together, love will keep us alive” (705), but for mental health experts, a more salient question might be whether they can find reasons to stay alive even if they don’t stay together.