The Third Wife

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

1. The Third Wife fits into the “domestic noir” genre, which focuses on the dark, hidden depths of seemingly perfect family lives. In what ways did the novel meet your expectations for this genre, and were there any elements that surprised you?

2. How did you feel about the book’s dual-timeline structure, which alternates between Adrian’s investigation in the present and Maya’s experiences in the past? Did this narrative choice effectively build suspense and emotional depth for you?

3. How does this novel compare to other Lisa Jewell books you may have read, such as The Family Upstairs or Then She Was Gone? If this was your first Jewell novel, how does it stack up against other popular domestic thrillers that explore marital secrets, such as Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty?

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. Adrian’s daughter Pearl calls him a “love addict,” a label he later internalizes when he compares himself to a moth drawn to a flame. Have you ever known someone with this instinct to chase the intensity of a new romance from relationship to relationship?

2. Maya’s flashbacks reveal her sense of being a “spare part” or an outsider in the Wolfes’ large, blended family. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt yourself at the bottom of an implicit hierarchy of belonging? How did you respond?

3. The guide points out that the children’s resentments stem from Adrian’s disruption of their original family unit. Cat and Otis, in particular, struggle with misplaced anger. Have you ever found it difficult to pinpoint the true source of a strong emotion like anger or grief?

4. What was your reaction to Abby’s advice that moving on from grief is an organic process that happens to you, not something you actively do? How does this idea compare to your own or others’ experiences of grief?

5. To begin the healing process, Adrian asks each family member to write him a letter explaining what they need from him. Have you ever found it easier to write your feelings down rather than expressing them verbally?

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. The Wolfe family is presented as an extreme version of a modern blended family, complete with annual group holidays and a meticulously managed schedule. Does this portrayal reflect the realities of modern blended families today, or does it feel more like a heightened reality?

2. What role do digital tools like email and Skype play in the novel’s central conflict? How does the story comment on the unique ways technology can be used to inflict psychological harm and maintain anonymity?

3. How does the novel explore the different expectations placed on Adrian versus his wives? Consider how Adrian repeatedly moves on to a “new life,” while the women and children are left to manage the emotional aftermath. How does Jewell’s portrayal reflect contemporary conversations around gender dynamics within families?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. How does the “Board of Harmony” allow Jewell to explore the need for genuine emotional connection over performative attention?

2. Do you consider Adrian to be a reliable narrator of his own life at the beginning of the book? How does Jewell use the flashbacks from Maya’s perspective to challenge Adrian’s version of events and reveal the truth of their marriage?

3. Cat is positioned as the story’s antagonist, yet her motivations are rooted in a desire to restore her family. How did you ultimately view her character? Was she a malicious villain, a tragic figure, or something in between?

4. What is the significance of the “Dear Bitch” emails as a recurring motif? How do these messages embody the theme of unspoken resentments and drive the plot forward?

5. The character of Jane/Abby acts as a catalyst for Adrian’s investigation. Did you find her mysterious introduction and role as the keeper of Maya’s final secrets to be an effective plot device?

6. What did you make of the novel’s ending, with Adrian living in a “man-shack” in the garden as he earns back his family’s trust? Does this resolution offer a realistic sense of hope for the Wolfe family’s future?

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

1. Design a replacement system or ritual for the Board of Harmony that encourages honest communication and emotional connection. What would you create, and what would you call it?

2. Adrian’s children give him letters telling him what they need. Write a response from Adrian to one of his children, such as Cat or Luke, offering them guidance on how to heal from the family’s trauma. What would he say?

3. At the end of the book, Adrian is rebuilding his life with Caroline and the children. Write a short scene set one year after the Epilogue. What does a typical family dinner look like for the Wolfes now?