The View From Lake Como

“I felt my throat constrict. I put my hands on my neck and tried to inhale air, but I couldn’t get enough in. The panic attacks were usually triggered by a series of challenges I couldn’t meet. That day had been particularly brutal; I couldn’t do anything right, and then there was the teasing. It was too much.”

This line makes it clear that Jess’s panic attacks are related to her family’s and community’s high expectations of her. It also suggests that Jess will need to separate herself from them to diminish her anxiety. This highlights Independence as a Catalyst for Transformation, as the more her confidence grows, the less anxious she will be.

“You’re a girl of simple tastes. You don’t aspire to things; you like books and museums. What can I tell you? Here’s the problem with the Bilancias. They wouldn’t know art if you broke the Mona Lisa over their heads. They value the purse.”

Jess’s father has a better understanding of why her marriage to Bobby didn’t work out than just about anyone else. He sees that Bobby’s and Jess’s values simply don’t align. At the same time, even her father doesn’t see all of Jess. He thinks she doesn’t “aspire” to anything, but she does: She aspires to travel, become independent, and live differently from the other Barattas.

“I fear my parents would convince me not to go. They would be afraid for me in a foreign country. The truth is, they’d be afraid for me in the next county. My parents would have me dead before I got to the airport. Yet I’m dying inside a day at a time in their cellar.”

Jess’s folks have always been overprotective, and she only recently found out why. It’s because she was born prematurely and had to spend nearly two months in the NICU after her birth. Her mother’s constant hovering and high expectations helped to create Jess’s anxiety and feelings of helplessness. This emphasizes Independence as a Catalyst for Transformation and the fact that Jess will have to get away from her parents to figure out how she wants her life to look and feel.

“When you burn it down, whether it’s marinara or your life, you must rebuild from scratch.”

Jess uses this metaphor to compare marinara to life in general. When either one gets ruined, it cannot be fixed; one must simply start over. This comparison also foreshadows the independence Jess needs to rebuild her life. She must escape all the rules and expectations that have governed her life so far to “rebuild.”

“Joseph Baratta Jr.’s arrival is announced as though NASA has found a star in the heavens that burns hotter and brighter than the sun.”

Jess’s simile highlights the way her family favors and prioritizes her brother. When Joe arrives for Sunday dinner, his presence is announced as though it is a very big, life-changing event. Connie’s arrival doesn’t warrant the same treatment. This favoritism helps to explain why their parents made the decision to use Jess’s college money for Joe’s law degree.

“I want a warning so I might prepare myself, but in my family, people don’t linger; they sigh and die.”

Jess worries that her Uncle Louie will die after his heart attack. Her hyperbolic description of the way her family members pass away renders them almost mythic or legendary. It makes their deaths seem intentional, as though they choose when they go, highlighting their will to bend life to their own rules and expectations.

“In Italy, it isn’t what the girl wants; it’s what her father will allow. That guy hated me and sent me packing. No daughter of his was going to marry a stonecutter. An Amerigan. I wasn’t worthy of her.”

Uncle Louie describes the Italian woman he first loved: Claudia. The length and detail of this early discussion foreshadow her later significance, when Jess discovers that Mauro LaFortezza is actually the son of Louie and Claudia. This situation reveals another family secret with which she must grapple, reflecting the theme of The Damaging Nature of Family Secrets.

“There will be so many people praying Uncle Louie’s immortal soul to higher ground in heaven, he will breeze through purgatory like it’s the HOV lane on the Jersey Turnpike during rush hour on a Friday afternoon.”

This simile compares the progress of Louie’s soul in the afterlife to the ease of using the carpool lane (which allows one to move faster than the rest of the cars sitting in rush-hour traffic). Roman Catholics believe that the soul must pass through purgatory—where the sins with which one died are burned away—on its way to heaven, and Jess says the number of people praying for Louie will move him quickly through this painful stop. The family’s strong religious beliefs reflect their Italian Catholic heritage and their commitment to tradition.

“I’m taking too long in here! I reach for a box that says Sweet Honesty, open it, and peer inside. Boom, the hard drive. How’s that for irony?”

When Jess ransacks Lil’s medicine cabinet, looking for Louie’s hidden flash drive, she identifies the humorous irony of his choice to hide it within the packaging for a product with “honesty” in the name. The drive contains the information for the Elegant Gangster, a secondary corporation Louie used to illegally sell remnants from Capodimonte Marble and Stone; he then hides the money in offshore Cayman accounts to avoid paying taxes on it. The Elegant Gangster is the very opposite of “honesty,” creating the irony.

“‘You too?’ I turn to my father, whom I have trusted all of my life. He may not have always given me the answer I wanted, but he told me the truth. I am stunned. ‘You’re involved?’”

When Jess learns that her parents knew what Louie did, putting her name on the paperwork for the Elegant Gangster, she is horrified by their choice to let him and the fact that they hid it from her. She sees her father, especially, in a new light, and it’s not a good one. This event highlights The Damaging Nature of Family Secrets.

“In many ways, we are three strangers who witnessed the same car wreck and arrived at the same conclusion about who was at fault for the accident.”

Jess uses an analogy to compare her siblings and herself to unconnected people who just happened to witness the same car accident—a metaphor for her parents’ secret decision to allow Louie to name her as owner of the Elegant Gangster. This comparison highlights their mutual horror at their parents’ decision as well as the moral gravity of that decision.

“What’s mine has never been mine. You took my future and handed it off to your son because he is more important than me […] You put my resources behind your son when they weren’t even yours to give!”

Even worse than learning that her parents allowed Louie to put her name on the paperwork for his illegal business is learning that they spent her college savings on Joe. She always believed that her dreams didn’t come true because she wasn’t worthy of them; it turns out that her dreams didn’t come true because of the secrets her parents were keeping, which highlights The Damaging Nature of Family Secrets.

“‘I wish you would talk to us. We meant no harm,’ Mom says sadly. ‘And even if you had, the results would have been the same.’”

Phil understands that they did materially hurt Jess when they kept secrets from her, but she feels their intentions ought to matter more than the harm they did. Jess points out that whether they meant to hurt her or not, they did. This emphasizes The Damaging Nature of Family Secrets: They harm regardless of why they are kept.

“A long airplane ride is like church, specifically, being trapped in a pew between people you’ve never met. I’m having a spiritual unraveling in a sea of seat-belted strangers. I have seven hours to examine my conscience inert in this seat; it’s not just an airplane, it’s a confessional flying at the speed of sound.”

Jess uses a simile to compare her feelings on the flight to Italy to being in church. It is a spiritual experience for her. She feels a bit uncomfortable and vulnerable, as she’s having these big feelings in front of strangers, but her comparison suggests just how spiritually significant this trip feels for her, reinforcing Independence as a Catalyst for Transformation.

“The peaks become the glittering points on a crown that appears to float on the horizon.”

When Jess describes the way the mountains look at sunset, she sees the white marble poking through where the mines are located. Her metaphor compares the peaks to the points of a crown, signifying the marble’s financial value as well as the spiritual value she ascribes to it.

“This is the first time in my life that I have lived alone. […] No one was more shocked than me when the world didn’t end because I took a chance.”

This line highlights Independence as a Catalyst for Transformation. Jess is so thoroughly indoctrinated by her community’s values and roles that even she has a hard time conceiving of a world in which she can simply step outside of them. Nevertheless the sun goes on rising and setting even though she did something so unusual. Her experience also shows the benefits of Prioritizing Courage Over Conformity, as she immediately begins to know herself better.

“I was raised in a family where we often ignored problems, hoping that they would disappear, or, even better, denied their existence in the first place. Denial worked for generations in the Cap and Baratta families. But I have learned that time does not heal the pain; only people can.”

As a member of a family that tends to ignore problems rather than confront them, Jess is expected to follow suit. However, in Prioritizing Courage Over Conformity, she comes to realize that pretending pain doesn’t exist doesn’t make it go away. Only acknowledging that pain and how it challenges and changes one’s relationships can truly heal the hurt.

“‘Don’t start, Philly. I told you, when you poison the well, you can’t drink from it.’ I heard them argue as I climbed the stairs to my bedroom.”

Joe Baratta Sr.’s metaphor emphasizes The Damaging Nature of Family Secrets. He tells his wife that she cannot expect to benefit from something she herself destroyed. In other words, when Phil chooses to keep secrets from her children, she can no longer hope to be trusted or rely on the trust that existed prior to her choice.

“What was I doing all these years, denying myself a soak in a hot tub with Calabrian orange bubble bath, as if soap, soaking, and pleasure have to be rationed? […] I must view life as a slog, a pain parade like the Crusades, where beating myself up eventually earns me a spot in paradise.”

Jess has long denied herself simple pleasures—such as bathing instead of showering—because baths were not a priority to anyone else in her life. She had no tub growing up, and though she told Bobby that she wanted a bathtub in their first place, he dismissed this preference. When she is alone in Italy and free to choose for herself for the first time, bathing becomes symbolic of the role of Independence as a Catalyst for Transformation.

“I learned something in Italy. It’s called the art of the possible.”

In Italy, Jess learns to be brave, surprising herself with all she can do, and the independence she experiences there allows her to take advantage of every opportunity. This grows her self-respect and sense of self-worth. Thus, her learning is one benefit of Prioritizing Courage Over Conformity and Independence as a Catalyst for Transformation.

“I had been the perfect daughter, very obedient […] but after I fell in love with Luigi, I changed. I became my own person. Love freed me and made me defiant. I wanted to choose how to live my life, while my father was holding on to the old ways because he could not accept the new ones.”

It isn’t only Jess who realizes the benefits of Prioritizing Courage Over Conformity. Claudia describes the strength she developed to reject her father’s expectations when she was brave enough to love a man her father didn’t like. Suddenly, she wanted to choose for herself, and she did act independently of her father’s wishes for her until he told her that Louie died.

“Marina finding her voice is somehow perceived as more shocking than my ex-husband and best friend getting together.”

Likewise, Lil’s niece, Marina, develops new courage after witnessing Jess’s growth. In Prioritizing Courage Over Conformity, speaking up in the public forum of Lil’s funeral lunch, Marina shocks everyone present. She “find[s] her voice” and advertises herself and her skills as a travel agent to capitalize on the family’s interest in traveling to Italy. They are shocked to hear a previously quiet woman speak up in such a way because it is so uncommon.

“‘I pushed you to marry Bobby because I knew that he would never take you away from me. When your child leaves you—and it doesn’t matter how old they are—it’s like losing a thumb […]’ ‘I didn’t leave home to hurt you. I left home to grow up. […] I needed to teach you how to treat me.’”

Phil admits why she wanted Jess to marry Bobby, even though they were not a great fit for one another. She felt that being married to a hometown boy would help Jess to live up to her family’s and community’s expectations. Jess’s response illustrates Independence as a Catalyst for Transformation by explaining to her mother that she needed to be her own person and establish healthier boundaries with her family. Jess’s ability to speak confidently and transparently in these passages shows her growth, as she now feels comfortable asserting herself.