The Wall

February passes quietly, with the protagonist watching the nature around her. She notices the crows, sticking to the same routine every day, and begins to use them to help tell time. She notices that the cat is once again affectionate but moody, and suspects that she is again pregnant. Despite the cold, the protagonist continues to go outside and find work to do. She tries to make plans for the future, but becomes impatient by how the winter weather hinders her.

In March, the cat demands that the cupboard door be opened and when the protagonist grants her access, she gives birth to another litter of kittens. This time, there are three kittens, and all alive. None look like Pearl. After a week, the cat introduces the kittens to the protagonist and Lynx. The kittens are playful. One day, the runt of the litter dies after it suffers a seizure while playing. The cat laments her kitten, but seems to forget her soon after.

Spring approaches and the protagonist names the other two kittens Tiger and Panther. Both are males, but before the protagonist can become attached, Panther wanders into the brush and never returns. Tiger proves to be a rambunctious kitten, and the cat soon grows tired of him. She ignores him, so Tiger grows attached to the protagonist, playing with her and “hunting” her, though he never hurts her.

In the present, as she writes her account, the protagonist thinks of the pain of losing her animals. Not only does Pearl die, but Tiger, Lynx, and the calf die as well. She looks forward to a time when she will have nothing to love, and therefore not feel the pain of loss.

The protagonist returns to her account. When spring arrives, the protagonist spreads Bella’s dung on her fields and begins planning her planting and the summer ahead. She considers moving to the Alm for the summer, taking only the essentials and living with minimal luxuries. She worries that the cats will be difficult to move, as they are attached to the hunting lodge, but she does not want to leave them. She decides to go because of Bella and the calf. The forest meadow she harvests hay from won’t be enough for them for the summer, and if they eat it all they will have nothing in the winter. The Alm will provide more, and the protagonist’s survival hinges upon Bella and her calf.

The cat fully abandons Tiger, annoyed by his energy, and he becomes attached to the protagonist. The protagonist loves him, and despite his mischievousness, she cannot stay angry with him. Lynx grows jealous, but when the protagonist assures him that she still loves him, he grows protective of Tiger.

May arrives and the protagonist plants her potatoes and starts preparing to move to the Alm. She and Lynx start making small trips to the Alm and the nearby lodge to prepare the place. She brings the essentials and, after a few days, prepares the animals. She puts the cat and Tiger in two boxes and loads everything onto Bella. They make the journey and arrive at the Alm in the afternoon. When they are let out of their boxes, both Tiger and the cat hide. Though Tiger comes to terms with his new home, the cat feels betrayed and flees in the night, presumably back to the hunting lodge.

The protagonist spends the first week at the Alm setting up Bella’s new byre. She names the calf “Bull,” and is happy to see both cows flourishing. She cleans the lodge before adventuring out into the area with Lynx. She looks out through the invisible wall and sees the world still frozen. She wonders how far the wall extends, as she begins noticing new deer, and wonders if they come from another open area.

She and Lynx take many trips throughout the summer, finding other lodges and huts, all in disrepair. They do find some supplies, like flour, but mostly everything is useless. The protagonist continues to look out through the wall and watches as the world outside becomes more unrecognizable as nature grows over everything. Lynx dislikes when she does this, sensing her mood deteriorate, and the protagonist is constantly reminded of how perceptive he is of her. Sometimes, she thinks he understands her emotions before she understands her own.

After three weeks, the protagonist locks Bella and the Bull in their byre, and closes Tiger in the lodge. She and Lynx return to the hunting lodge to check on the potatoes. As she works in the field, she thinks of the Alm with revulsion, not wanting to return. She also realizes she feels the same way about the hunting lodge when she is at the Alm, and feels as though she is two people.

When she returns to the Alm, the protagonist brings potatoes. She lets Tiger out, and though he is angry, he soon forgives her. Rain comes, and the protagonist spends time with Bella and Bull. After a few weeks, the protagonist returns to the hunting lodge to hoe the potato field. While there, she looks for the cat and finds an indent on the bed in the cat’s favorite spot.

All summer, the protagonist finds the nights in the Alm to be too short. With some time before she needs to begin harvesting hay at the hunting lodge’s meadow, the protagonist spends time connecting with nature. She sits outside at night and looks up at the stars, realizing for the first time in her life that they are real. As she spends more time in isolation, she reflects more on who she is and how others shaped who she was.

Tiger enjoys his freedom around the house and the Alm, while Lynx revels in the protagonist’s attention. At this greater height, the protagonist and the animals see more storms throughout the summer. As they rage, the protagonist is thankful that Bella now has Bull to keep her company in these scary moments.

When it is time to harvest the hay, the protagonist wakes early and walks the three hours to the meadow. She scythes all day, drying the hay and storing it for winter before returning to the Alm. She does this repeatedly, for days, slowly making progress. When she is two-thirds of the way through the harvest, she grows tired, and feels as though she loses hope. She considers why she did not die by suicide, but ultimately decides that she could not abandon her animals, that all but the cats would be lost and die without her.

The protagonist reflects on the cat’s disappearance, though every time she visits the hunting lodge this second summer, she sees her imprint. She believes that they are similar, both choosing freedom. In early August, the protagonist finishes harvesting the hay. She stops by the hunting lodge one more time and makes tea before returning to the Alm. When she arrives, she notices that Tiger is cagey, and limping on one paw. He stepped on a thorn or splinter, and the protagonist removes it for him.

With the hay harvest finished and only a few weeks before she moves the cows back to the hunting lodge for the winter, the protagonist picks some fruit and recuperates at the Alm. She spends time with the cows, milking Bella and playing with Tiger, who hunts her feet to prove his might. She takes in the nature around her during these waning days of summer, appreciating the beauty of flowers and the peaceful air. She thinks of how she once saw the world fresh and clearly as a child, and laments the loss of this sight, conditioned by the events of her life.

As she writes this account, the protagonist remembers these peaceful days in the Alm, a time when she and her animals were happy, and looks with dread to the months ahead.