The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It

Encourage readers to reflect on how the book relates to their own life or work and how its lessons could help them.

1. McGonigal identifies three types of willpower challenges: “I will” power (doing things you avoid doing), “I won’t” power (breaking habits), and “I want” power (focusing on long-term goals). Which category dominates your current struggles? Does recognizing this pattern change how you think about approaching your challenges?

2. The book argues that people who overestimate their willpower are most likely to fail because they expose themselves to more temptation. Thinking about your own history with behavior change, when have you been overly optimistic about your self-control? What were the consequences, and how might you calibrate your self-assessment differently going forward?

3. McGonigal describes the “what-the-hell effect”—the cycle where initial indulgence leads to guilt, which triggers further indulgence. Can you identify a specific pattern in your life where this dynamic plays out? What typically breaks the cycle for you, if anything?

4. The chapter on social contagion suggests that behaviors spread through networks of mutual respect and emotional closeness. When you examine your social environment honestly, whose behaviors are you unconsciously adopting—for better or worse?

5. Consider McGonigal’s distinction between effective stress relief (exercise, meditation, time with friends) and popular but ineffective strategies (shopping, eating, television, internet). Which category do your current coping mechanisms fall into? What makes it difficult to choose more effective strategies even when you know the research?

6. The book presents self-compassion as more effective than self-criticism for maintaining willpower. How do you typically respond to yourself after real or perceived failures? If you tend toward harsh self-judgment, what specific obstacles make it difficult to treat yourself with the kindness you might extend to a friend in similar circumstances?

Prompt readers to explore how the book fits into today’s professional or social landscape.

1. McGonigal notes that Americans have experienced significant increases in stress and decreases in sleep over recent decades, contributing to collective willpower depletion. More than a decade after this book’s publication, do these societal patterns seem to have intensified or shifted, either in the US or elsewhere? How might contemporary challenges—such as smartphone addiction, social media, political polarization, or pandemic-related disruptions—interact with the willpower dynamics she describes?

2. The book’s emphasis on self-compassion and acceptance rather than rigid discipline represents a departure from earlier self-help paradigms. Do you see this shift reflected in broader cultural conversations about productivity, wellness, and personal development? What advantages or risks does this gentler approach carry in a culture that often valorizes hustle and achievement?