This Dog Will Change Your Life

Angus, one of Friedman’s close friends, serves as an example of someone who needed a dog companion to help him overcome his personal life challenges. Friedman describes him as “smart and good-looking [with] an interesting job selling rare vintage sports cars to high-end collectors. But he suffers from somewhat debilitating anxiety and depression, invisible to you, glaring to him” (xvii). Concerned about and invested in his friend’s well-being, Friedman suggested that Angus consider getting a service dog. He explained to Angus that the dog might alter his perspective on himself and his life, and might offer him the healing he’d sought for years. 

Angus’s story underscores Friedman’s arguments about the transformative power of a relationship with a dog. With Friedman’s help, Angus did eventually select and adopt a dog, Opal, who changed his life, bringing him love and joy, and teaching him how to care for another being. Friedman returns to Angus and Opal’s story at the end of the text to reiterate the positive influence Opal has had on Angus’s mental health.

Adam, another of Friedman’s close friends, provides an example of how an adopted dog’s past can influence its interactions with humans. Friedman and Adam “met soon after [Friedman] started college at Boston University, and [they] hit it off immediately” (70). The two have remained close ever since. However, Adam has been afraid of dogs ever since his childhood. He told Friedman that when he was at a friend’s house growing up, their dog attacked him in the face when he held up a piece of bacon and made eye contact with the dog. The wounds were so severe that Adam almost lost his nose, and he has been wary of dogs ever since. 

Friedman doesn’t belittle Adam’s story, but he does suggest that Adam’s fear was keeping him from potentially transformative canine relationships. He notes that “Adam’s scars were not only of the physical variety. He remained terrified of dogs. His cynophobia […] wasn’t irrational, but it was still hindering” (73).  At the risk of showing insensitivity to physical trauma, Friedman uses Adam’s story to argue that humans should respect dogs’ complicated pasts. He hypothesizes that the dog that attacked Adam experienced cruelty or trauma that influenced its reaction to Adam. Friedman presses Adam to overcome his fear of dogs so that he doesn’t miss out on the benefits of bonding with a dog. He argues that “Humans should not be afraid of dogs. Humans should explore bonds with dogs. Failing to do that can shrink your life and limit your happiness” (73). Friedman connected his friend with his dog Elsa and their mutual friend Jeff’s dog Opal, allowing him to face his fear in a safe environment.

Friedman introduces Jeff in Part 1 to highlight the work and commitment involved in caring for a dog. When Jeff informed Friedman that he wanted to get a dog and was set on adopting a Basset Hound, Friedman advised against getting a Basset, as they have fragile anatomies and require a lot of care. Despite his warnings, Jeff adopted a Bassett anyway and named her Gertrude. Jeff’s relationship with Gertrude changed his life, much like Elsa changed Friedman’s and Opal changed Angus’s.

Friedman uses Jeff as an example of how a dog can teach a person lessons about care, order, love, and sacrifice. In Gertrude, Jeff “had found a being to love, a being who would love him” (24). However, per Friedman’s warnings, Gertrude did require a lot of attention from Jeff. Gertrude “was difficult to potty train,” “she had a persistent urinary tract infection,” she was “having accidents in the house,” and because of her stature, she required Jeff to carry her often (24-25). Despite all of Jeff’s new responsibilities, Friedman noticed that Jeff didn’t talk about Gertrude with “despair, anger, or consternation” (25). Rather, he told Friedman that Gertrude had transformed his life for the better. A single man in his 30s without kids, Jeff appreciated how Gertrude gave him a sense of home and family. She made him slow down and take care of another person besides himself. Jeff and Gertrude’s relationship is another example of how dogs can remake their owners’ lives.

Sam is Friedman’s fiancée. Friedman and Sam “went to the same high school and even had overlapping social circles, but it was strictly platonic back then” (123). Years later, Friedman reconnected with Sam. They’d “lost track of each other in college” but started running into each other by chance “on the streets of NYC” and rekindled their former friendship as adults (123). Friedman quickly remembered how much they had in common and started to notice that they shared a romantic chemistry, too. Dogs, he notes, were a big part of this new connection with Sam. Like Friedman, Sam loves dogs and immediately fell in love with Friedman’s dog Elsa. Their bond mattered to Friedman because he regards Elsa as his fur baby—or dog child. The more time he and Sam spent together, the more evident it was that Sam would make the perfect dog mom for Elsa. Friedman uses this intimate aspect of his personal life to explore how dogs can facilitate authentic and lasting romantic connections. He and Sam got along in other ways, but their mutual love for dogs—and particularly for Elsa—sealed their bond. Friedman also argues that sharing their responsibility for and devotion to Elsa has given them a chance to practice at being parents, should they have children in the future.