Too Bright to See

Bug’s mother makes dinner and tells him about condolence card ideas for her card business. She is using some of the things that people have said to her since Roderick died as inspiration. She hates the idea that Roderick is in a better place, “As if somewhere could be better than having dinner with [Bug], right now” (55). She admits to Bug that the business has not been doing well, but she hopes that her new ideas will help turn things around. 

After dinner, Bug looks at some teen magazines that Moira gave him, hoping that they will give him a clue about how to be a girl. He wonders if going through puberty is the answer, but when he imagines becoming a teen girl and an adult woman, it hurts to think about it. That night, Bug has another bad dream, where mannequin bodies turn into Moira and the other girls. They all look down at him and laugh.

Bug wakes with a start. He finds a note on his bedroom floor, written in either his mom or uncle’s handwriting. He cannot tell what it says; it is just a bunch of “chicken-scratch symbols” that do not make any sense. At breakfast, he asks his mom if she recognizes it, but she does not. Bug suspects that a spirit in the house is trying to communicate with him.

Bug remembers Roderick looking through a box of records from their house’s past owners. He goes to the attic to try to find the box, hoping that it might contain a clue about which spirit might be trying to contact him. Moira arrives and comes up to the attic. Their moms are talking business downstairs. Bug does not tell Moira the truth about why he is up in the attic, as she is afraid of ghosts. Eventually, Bug finds the box he is looking for. Moira is also interested, and they look at old photographs and house blueprints together. Moira asks Bug if he has seen any new ghosts. Bug admits that he does not really know how many ghosts there are in the house. 

At dinner, Bug’s mom tells him that her meeting with Moira’s mom about their business went okay and that they are coming up with new ideas. Bug can tell that she is hiding something from him.

That night, Bug has another dream. This time he is trying to put on dresses that are much too small for him. When he wakes up, he finds Roderick’s high school yearbook in his sock drawer, open to Roderick’s graduation quote: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken” (72). He realizes that Roderick’s ghost is trying to talk to him.

Bug spends the next day outside, trying to think of what to do next. He is wading in a stream when he hears what sounds like his uncle’s voice coming from far away. Bug cannot make out what he is saying, but he catches snippets that sound like: “You need to” or “I need to tell you” (75). 

In the bathroom at home, Bug’s reflection does not look like him. He struggles to determine exactly what is wrong with it. This has happened to him throughout his life, but never to his mother or uncle. He once asked them if either of their reflections were ever wrong, but neither of them knew what he was talking about. Bug’s mom tells him that she is going out to dinner with Moira’s mom so they can talk more about their business. Bug promises to make himself a balanced meal for dinner. 

Later, Bug makes himself Velveeta macaroni and cheese, reflecting that Roderick always preferred fancier meals. He sits down to watch TV while he eats, but all the doors in the house start slamming. The TV turns itself off, then back on again, and starts flipping rapidly through channels. Bug’s bowl of macaroni goes flying as if someone has thrown it across the room. Bug is terrified and does not understand why Roderick would want him to be afraid, if it really is his uncle who is haunting him. Eventually, the doors stop slamming and the TV goes back to what Bug was originally watching. Bug cleans up the spilled pasta and hides the broken bowl in the garbage. 

When his mom gets home, she admits that her meeting with Moira’s mom did not go well. Their card business is not making very much money. She suggests that they might sell their house and move somewhere smaller, which distresses Bug. He does not want to leave his home and the spirits behind. His mom also shows him a book that Moira’s mom got her, On Death and Dying. She explains that it talks about the five stages of grief. They talk about where they are in their own stages of grief, and Bug reflects that there is not a stage for being haunted.

Bug bikes to the library, hoping that he can find information about why Roderick is haunting him. He finds several books about ghosts, hauntings, and the supernatural, and starts to read. After two hours, Bug has learned a lot about ghosts and poltergeists and has some ideas about why Roderick might be trying to communicate with him.

While he is reading, the librarian interrupts him to introduce him to a boy his age who has just moved to town. The boy’s name is Griffin. Griffin explains that he and his family just moved to town from Portland and that their new house is a big old farmhouse called the Baumler farmhouse. He is pretty sure it’s haunted. 

Bug tells Griffin that his house is haunted too, which is why he is reading all the books about ghosts. They discuss the kinds of hauntings that Bug has learned about and read more together. Griffin reads a passage about ghosts that never find their way to the afterlife. Bug worries what will happen if Roderick’s spirit gets stuck or if he moves on before Bug figures out his message.

When the library closes, Griffin checks out one of the books about ghosts. He also gives Bug his phone number and says that his mom has been “wanting [him] to make friends” (90). Bug feels a thrill at the thought of having made a friend. As Bug is leaving the library, a book that was solidly on the shelf falls off. Bug understands that he needs to figure out what his uncle Roderick is trying to tell him.