48 pages • 1-hour read
Rachel ReidA modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of antigay bias and sexual content.
At their next Bargain Brunch, Fabian’s friends tease him about having sex with Ryan, demanding to know if they are officially together. Fabian explains that they haven’t discussed it yet since they’re both so busy with work. Ryan is constantly on the road with his team, and Fabian is planning another tour for his newest album. His friends are supportive of his work but worry about him touring alone, and they suggest that he take Ryan along.
At practice, Ryan is surprised to learn that star NHL rivals Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov “just announced [a] new charity” they launched together (196). The teammates speculate as to why, and Kent makes derogatory remarks about their sexuality. Irritated, Ryan dismisses himself to the locker room. Wyatt finds him and encourages him to speak up against such antigay behavior. When Kent joins the locker room, Ryan tells him that he’s gay and demands that he stop making bigoted remarks in his presence.
Ryan and Fabian spend the night at Fabian’s apartment, where Fabian suggests that they try out some new sex toys. Ryan is more relaxed than usual and feels open to experimentation. They have a protracted sexual encounter, where they penetrate each other for the first time. Ryan also uses dirty talk, which he isn’t normally comfortable with. Ultimately, Ryan orgasms with Fabian. They both fall asleep feeling content.
On the flight to their next game, Wyatt remarks on how happy Ryan looks. Ryan admits that he’s seeing someone, explaining his and Fabian’s history and recent reconnection. Then, he gets a text from Fabian inviting him to join Bargain Brunch that weekend.
On Sunday, Fabian lectures his friends about being nice to Ryan. Then, Ryan arrives with an armload of groceries. He easily settles into the group. Throughout the brunch, Fabian muses on their relationship, thankful that Ryan fits in so well with his friends.
Later that night, Ryan stays up watching videos of his opponent Duncan Harvey fighting. He is trying to distract himself from his worries about his and Fabian’s relationship. He has loved seeing Fabian but fears that their lives don’t mix. He couldn’t help feeling like an outsider at brunch because he couldn’t contribute anything when Fabian and his friends were talking about art. Now, he studies the videos in preparation for his upcoming game. When Fabian wakes up, Ryan closes his computer and tells him more about being an enforcer. He explains that he has to defend his teammates on behalf of his coach, whom he admits he doesn’t like. Fabian suggests that Ryan is a knight defending his king’s honor, even if it is a king he doesn’t like; however, he admits that he doesn’t understand the concept or appeal. Ryan agrees that it’s illogical.
Before the game, Ryan greets Duncan on the ice. Noticing that he doesn’t look well, he tells Duncan that they don’t have to fight if he doesn’t want to. An offended Duncan verbally threatens Ryan, insisting that they’ll fight. Then, in the middle of the game, things get out of hand. Duncan tries fighting Ryan, but Ryan refuses. Furious, Duncan headbutts him. Meanwhile, Fabian watches the game at a bar with Tarek. He feels sick when Ryan gets hurt and confesses how much he hates the sport and Ryan’s enforcer role.
That night, Fabian texts Ryan to come over, insisting that they talk. As soon as they meet up, Fabian gives Ryan a big hug. They talk about their relationship, and Fabian asks if he can be Ryan’s boyfriend. Ryan expresses how much he cares for Fabian, and they agree to be a couple. They also express how meaningful their chance reunion was for both of them and agree that they “better stick together” (233).
Ryan goes to the community center with Wyatt. Afterward, Ryan declines Wyatt’s offer to keep hanging out because he has a date with Fabian. He tells an excited Wyatt more about their relationship. Then, the friends agree to stop at a florist’s so that Ryan can get flowers for Fabian and Wyatt can get flowers for his wife.
Meanwhile, Fabian sits at home googling Ryan’s fight videos. He feels sick seeing this version of Ryan and starts to cry just as Ryan shows up at the apartment. Ryan immediately notices that Fabian is upset. He insists that he’s fine but ends up breaking the vase while setting up the flowers. Ryan checks in with Fabian again, but Fabian initiates sex instead of explaining what’s wrong. He tells himself that he has to see the gentler side of Ryan to forget the fights. They have sex and then lie in bed talking. Fabian is moved to hear Ryan open up about how poorly he was doing the year he stayed with Fabian’s family. Then, they imagine what it would have been like if they acted on their feelings for each other all those years ago. Finally, they get up and get ready to go out for a romantic night on the town.
Ryan’s deepening relationship with Fabian over the course of Chapters 18-22 challenges him to interrogate his rigid, masculine persona. The more time he spends with Fabian, the more conflicted he feels about his enforcer role on the Toronto Guardians team, thus developing the theme of Toughness as a Professional Role That Corrodes the Self. The narrative uses the motif of fighting to represent stereotypical notions of strength and power. These images surface in the context of Ryan’s experiences playing on the ice, Fabian’s experiences watching Ryan play on television, and replays of hockey fights in online footage. In Chapter 20, for example, Ryan watches videos of his opponent fighting to prepare for his game and distract him from his anxieties over Fabian. This scene immediately follows Ryan’s brunch with Fabian’s friends—an experience that leaves him feeling self-conscious and reinforces his negative core belief “that he d[oes]n’t belong” (222). Still feeling out of place among this group of LGBTQ+ friends “talking about music and art” (222), Ryan tries to reconnect with a part of himself he understands: fighting on the ice. When he watches the videos of him fighting Duncan, he feels a strange sense of calm. Ryan isn’t a violent person outside the context of hockey, but when he’s fighting on the ice, he feels strong, powerful, and assured. At the same time, when he tries to explain his enforcer role to Fabian, he realizes how illogical the donned professional identity is and how misaligned it is with his authentic self.
Ryan shows signs of personal growth when he decides not to fight Duncan. This decision immediately follows his and Fabian’s conversation about how “stupid” fighting is. Ryan has taken this dialogue to heart and is trying to conduct himself differently. However, his attempt to make a change is met by even more violence, which threatens Ryan’s ability to embrace his true self over his prescribed professional role. Fabian’s character acts as a potential agent of change within this vocational conflict—perpetually challenging Ryan to consider the impact of his work on his psyche and his relationships. At the same time, Fabian is also afraid of pushing Ryan too far. When he sees the fight on television and watches Ryan’s fights online, he is moved to tears—unable to reconcile the tender version of Ryan he knows with the genuinely angry and terrifying Ryan he sees on the ice. He “c[a]n’t pretend this [latter] part of Ryan’s life d[oes]n’t exist” but is afraid of demanding that Ryan eradicate this part of himself, too (237). Professional hockey thus poses two ready threats: It is hazardous to Ryan’s personal well-being and to the well-being of his and Fabian’s relationship.
Despite Ryan and Fabian’s struggle to fit hockey into their new relationship, their care for each other continues to deepen, which reiterates the Impact of Adolescent Longing on Adult Relationships. The characters know that they are from different worlds and have contrasting personalities. However, they are consistently able to overcome these differences because of their shared history. Their intimate conversations throughout these chapters reiterate how their adolescent longing keeps them together in the present. In Chapter 20, for example, the lovers discuss their past connection once more, agreeing that when they reunited at the drugstore, they both felt “this overwhelming feeling of relief” (233), as if they’d found something they hadn’t known they’d been searching for. Their teenage connection offered them the possibility of an authentic, meaningful intimacy, which they lost track of when they parted ways; now that they’ve reunited, they have the chance to build into this historical connection. In spite of their many differences, the lovers agree that they have to hold onto each other so as not to lose their chances at great love again.



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