Tough Guy

Fabian is another of the novel’s main characters. The third-person narrator also inhabits his consciousness throughout the novel to provide insight into his personal life and private interior. Fabian lives in Toronto’s Church-Wellesley Village and works at the local drugstore for his day job. In his spare time, Fabian is developing a career in music as a singer-songwriter. Although he earned a spot with the Toronto Symphony, he gave up this opportunity to pursue his solo work. Fabian’s professional choices reflect his confidence and free spirit. He knows how talented he is but feels disinterested in following prescribed paths for him. He regards his personal life in this manner, too—always trying to follow his heart instead of satisfying others’ expectations of what he should do or who he should be.

Like Ryan, Fabian is a round, dynamic character who changes over the course of the novel. He is arguably more evolved and self-assured than Ryan at the novel’s start but still has room to grow. In his romantic life, for example, Fabian has a habit of attracting men “who have almost no interest in [him] beyond appearances” (123). His on-again-off-again relationship with Claude exemplifies his struggle to date men who truly value him for who he is or who want to genuinely invest in him. When he and Ryan reconnect at the novel’s start, Fabian rediscovers what it means to be truly seen and appreciated by a romantic partner. Ryan inspires him to want more for himself and from his intimate relationships.

Fabian has a history of facing and overcoming adversity. Ever since he was a young boy, Fabian has felt like an outsider because of his sexuality. His family has never fully accepted him for who he is. Fabian confides in Ryan about this difficult dynamic, admitting that he always felt like his parents’ habit of hosting hockey players at their home was their way of “adopting replacement sons” (193)—sporty, straight, and stereotypically masculine young men whom they wished Fabian could be more like. Despite his parents’ lack of acceptance, Fabian has never negotiated his identity to meet their expectations. Instead, he distanced himself from his parents and fostered true connection and community with his found family in Toronto.

Fabian is one of the main forces of change in Ryan’s life. He sees Ryan for his goodness, kindness, and tenderness and wants him to be truer to himself. Fabian particularly regards hockey as an inhibition to Ryan’s personal growth and self-confidence. He fears that if Ryan continues playing for the NHL, he will eventually lose himself completely. He learns how to urge Ryan toward change and better self-care while also supporting him through his new life transition.

Vanessa is a secondary character and is one of Fabian’s closest friends. She is a part of his found family, his LGBTQ+ community, and his Bargain Brunch group. Throughout the novel, Vanessa offers Fabian consistent love, support, and advice. Whenever Fabian feels upset, confused, or overwhelmed, he knows he can go to her for help. Vanessa is particularly important to Fabian’s stability and growth because she is always honest with him. When Fabian gets upset by dynamics in his relationship with Ryan, for example, Vanessa will challenge his point of view and encourage him to try again. Her character also offers perspective on Fabian’s character and his relationship history; she consistently reminds Fabian not to get involved with Claude again because she knows he deserves better. Her point of view offers the reader insight into Fabian’s decisions, especially given his typical confidence. Her curiosity and excitement over Ryan also validate Fabian’s new relationship. She doesn’t write Ryan off because he is a hockey player and presents his sexuality differently than Fabian; rather, she is gracious and forgiving—always leaving room for Ryan’s complexities.

Marcus and Tarek are minor characters who are also a part of Fabian’s core friend group and found family. While Marcus and Tarek are less developed, round characters than Vanessa, they are also central to Fabian’s support network in Toronto. They consistently attend Fabian’s musical performances, showing their investment in his work and excitement over his accomplishments. Although they are more flat characters—who do not have complete character arcs—their lack of change is evidence of their consistency and dependability rather than their inability to change. They are steady fixtures in Fabian’s life. Fabian also relies on their reactions to Ryan to make sense of his feelings for him and their developing relationship. Ryan couldn’t be more different from Marcus and Tarek—which initially worries Fabian. However, when Ryan attends his first Bargain Brunch, Fabian is thrilled to watch “Ryan with his friends now” and to see “that Ryan c[an] fit in just fine” (221-22). Like Vanessa, Marcus and Tarek are supportive of Fabian and Ryan’s relationship, which reinforces Fabian’s trust in their burgeoning romance.