Trust & Inspire: How Truly Great Leaders Unleash Greatness in Others

In this chapter, Covey argues that Trust & Inspire leadership principles apply universally across all roles and contexts, not just formal business leadership positions. He emphasizes that becoming a Trust & Inspire leader begins with becoming a Trust & Inspire person through an inside-out process of personal transformation. The chapter demonstrates how these principles can be applied in three key areas: parenting, teaching, and athletic coaching.

Covey’s approach to parenting represents a departure from traditional authoritarian models. He distinguishes between Command & Control parenting, which relies on compliance through authority and “Because I said so!” reasoning (272), and Trust & Inspire parenting, which sees children as whole people with inherent potential. The author illustrates this through a personal anecdote about his parents’ transformation in their approach to one of his brothers, who was struggling academically and socially. When his parents shifted from trying to “fix” their son to appreciating his individuality and potential, the child eventually flourished, becoming an accomplished student and athlete. This transformation occurred not through new tactics, but through a fundamental change in how the parents perceived their child.

In the context of education, Covey acknowledges the highly regulated nature of schools while arguing that Trust & Inspire principles can still be effective within these constraints. He contrasts teachers who rely on credentials and authority to establish classroom control with those who build genuine relationships and create environments where students feel valued and safe. The chapter features his daughter, McKinlee’s, teaching experience, where she discovered that students responded better to authentic care and relationship-building than to displays of authority. Covey also highlights the Leader in Me program, developed by Principal Muriel Summers, which demonstrates how believing in students’ leadership potential can transform entire schools.

The athletic coaching section challenges the prevalent Command & Control culture in youth sports, which has normalized aggressive behavior from coaches and parents. Covey argues that effective coaching can maintain high expectations while building trust-based relationships that inspire rather than intimidate players.

This chapter reflects contemporary shifts in understanding human development and motivation, particularly the move away from behaviorist approaches that dominated mid-20th-century thinking. Covey’s emphasis on seeing inherent potential rather than focusing solely on behavior modification aligns with more recent research in positive psychology and growth mindset theory.

Chapter Lessons

• Leadership principles apply universally across all life roles: One can be a Trust & Inspire parent, teacher, coach, or community member by seeing potential in others rather than focusing on control and compliance.
• Transformation begins with changing how one perceives others, particularly moving from seeing problems that need fixing to recognizing inherent greatness and potential.
• Children, students, and team members respond more effectively to authentic relationships and genuine care than to displays of authority or credentials.
• Modeling desired behaviors proves more powerful than demanding compliance through rules and punishment, as people naturally learn more from what they observe than from what they are told.

Reflection Questions

• In your various life roles (parent, colleague, community member, etc.), do you tend to approach others with a Command & Control or Trust & Inspire mindset, and what specific behaviors indicate which approach you typically use?
• Can you identify a person in your life who would benefit from being seen and treated with greater trust and inspiration? What changes in your perception of them might unlock their potential?