Twenty Years Later

“Panic, though, was good. It meant she was aware of what was happening and had not suffered ‘behavioral inaction,’ a symptom described by the survival experts who had consulted on the episode. Also called ‘dislocation of expectation,’ it was the mind’s response to a traumatic situation. The brain attempts to correlate the current situation with a known experience from the past.”

When a text devotes a passage to what is not happening, it is usually an indication that this concept will be important later on. Here, the idea of “behavioral inaction” is not what Avery experiences, yet it is detailed at length, which suggests that a character later in the narrative will probably experience behavioral inaction at a critical moment. The correlation to traumatic events, too, might imply the opposite: that Avery will continue to find connections to her past that spur her forward.

“Because if there was one thing that spurred the public’s interest even more than watching the birth of a young starlet rising to fame, it was watching them fall from grace. Schadenfreude had become the new American pastime.”

“Schadenfreude” is a German word for the pleasure one takes in another’s suffering, such as laughing at a person falling. In this case, schadenfreude is used as a foreshadowing device, placing Avery and her career on a delicate edge between fame and downfall. More importantly, this passage characterizes the “public” as hungry for any form of entertainment, whether positive or negative.

“She had ripped up the card when she realized whom it was from. Later, though, the untamable lure of unconditional love found her, and the natural bond that ties daughters to their fathers emerged and forced her to tape the pieces back together and read her father’s words. It did not take long to dawn on her that her father hadn’t sent the card because he missed her. He hadn’t sent it to acknowledge his wife’s passing. He sent it because he needed help.”

This passage develops an imbalance between Avery and Garth. While Avery tapes the postcard together out of a sense of familial obligation and love, Garth is simply asking for help, which suggests that Avery is more invested in her relationship with her father than Garth is. Avery’s devotion is likely to cause more problems in the novel, as Garth appears to be the kind of man who would use his daughter for his own purposes, even if it hurt her.

“It was horrific, as you might imagine. When the towers fell, the loss of life was not only tragic, but destructive. Gruesome, even. There were very few fully intact bodies recovered from the rubble. Mostly what was found were body parts. It made identifying the victims a monumental challenge. Many recovered body parts were too badly damaged to match them together, so each one had to be identified. Since many of the bodies were catastrophically burned, the usual methods of identification—finding a tattoo or a birthmark or other distinguishing characteristics—were impossible.”

Though the 9/11 attacks are used more as a framing device in the narrative, setting the tone for various discussions of trauma and recovery, this passage grounds the attacks as a specifically traumatic event for a nation. While characters experience personal trauma, the 9/11 attacks were a form of widespread societal trauma. Though 20 years have passed since the attacks, the challenges created by the attacks persist in society.

“He wished he had found the courage to confront her about her lies. He wished he had found the strength to express his anger about being placed in such a precarious position. The regret passed. It always did. Then, just one dominant emotion lingered. At the bottom of every glass of rum, he found guilt. It was a dangerous spiral, and Walt Jenkins had no idea how to pull out of it.”

Walt’s emotional struggle and his alcohol addiction are conflated in this passage, as he hints at lies, guilt, and anger, which are not yet explained in the novel. These emotions are tied directly to “every glass of rum,” which characterizes Walt as person struggling to overcome multiple elements of trauma. The shooting is only a single aspect of the physical and emotional pain that Walt is experiencing.

“Hard to believe she’d be fifty-five today. There’s just no way for me to picture my baby sister in her midfifties. You know, when a loved one dies young our perception of them is placed in a time capsule. You’re only able to remember them as they were then, not as they would be today. Victoria was so young and healthy, full of life. To me she will forever be that vibrant young woman. It’s the only way I’ll ever know her.”

Though Emma’s perception of Victoria is positive, this passage also hints at the way other characters might perceive Victoria, or other people from their pasts. Avery’s perception of Christopher and her parents is likely also fixed to specific moments before their deaths, just as Walt’s perception of his partner and the key figures in Cameron’s murder case are fixed. Additionally, as much as Emma’s view is solidified on Victoria’s innocence, so, too, is Walt’s on Victoria’s guilt.

“BDSM—bondage/dominance/sadism/masochism—was aggressive, often rough and painful sex between two consenting adults that included a wide variety of props and toys. Consenting was a buzzword Walt had seen in just about every article he read, although he wondered how consenting Cameron Young had been the night he died. Something dark and dangerous had taken place in that bedroom.”

The near scientific research Walt has performed, here, underpins his professionalism as a police officer and his discomfort with sexual activities he sees as unusual. Questioning consent is valid, but by saying, broadly, that “something dark and dangerous” happened in Cameron’s bedroom, Walt is essentially conflating BDSM and actual crimes, which reveals his prejudices and judgments against those that practice these sex acts.

“The press were like rabid animals. Reporters waited for her in the lobby of her office building, and outside her apartment. The video was everywhere. There was no social media back then, but the Internet was just sprouting its wings. The image of Victoria in that dominatrix outfit made it onto every news program and into every newspaper. The video was downloaded thousands of times and watched endlessly in every home whose owners held voyeuristic tendencies. The news media salivated over every detail. For a short time, S and M and bondage became daily headlines and utterances of news anchors around the country.”

Emma’s recollection of the media surrounding Victoria in 2001 condemns both the news industry and the general public, noting how people “salivate” over the details of a gruesome murder and the private sex lives of the figures involved. This passage should be taken as a parallel to Avery’s current goals, as she, too, wants to make her audience “salivate” over her special on American Events, which begs the question of whether Avery is “rabid” or intent only on finding the truth.

“For Claire Montgomery, the canvas of her past was splattered with the drippings of a frantic artist gone mad. For Avery Mason, that canvas was blank. That both identities were forever bound by a hatred toward the father who betrayed his family complicated matters. That she couldn’t stop herself from loving the son of a bitch only made things more confusing. Put it all together and it was not hard to see why Avery welcomed men into her life—and specifically into her bed—with great trepidation.”

This passage highlights how Avery’s change of name and profession did not and do not change her fundamental character. She is torn between the bond she feels with her father and the trauma of his betrayal. Though she hides her past to protect herself and her career, she also understands that hiding from her past is damaging to her sense of identity and her options in her social and romantic life.

“The scar still bothered him from time to time, producing a gnawing itch that drove him mad. The doctors promised it would eventually fade, but warned that until it did he should work to identify the triggers that brought on the symptoms and do his best to avoid them. As Walt say at the Rum House in Times Square he realized that the last time the scar bothered him was a couple weeks earlier when he sat on his front porch pretending to read a John Grisham novel but really contemplating his upcoming trip to New York for the survivors meeting. Was the city itself a trigger, or all the baggage that waited here?”

Walt’s scar is linked to both his traumatic experience in the FBI and the resulting trauma of Meghan’s betrayal. In this sense, the scar symbolizes both Walt’s past and his need to move beyond it. The doctors’ warning suggests a connection between the physical and emotional traumas of the shooting, hinting that Walt’s scar will continue to itch until he has emotionally recovered from his past in the city.

“She had been enrolled in private school in Manhattan, which closed its doors for the week after the attack. When she and her classmates returned, rumors circulated through the hallways about more attacks on the city and that schools would be the next target. Avery still remembered the fear and apprehension she had felt, waiting for an airplane to take down the walls of her school. The morning of 9/11 and her experiences in the days that followed had always been viewed through the prism of a teenager. Until now. She was about to approach the topic, not as a wide-eyed adolescent, but as a journalist. It had her both bussing with excitement and filled with anxiety.”

Avery’s memories of 9/11 underpin the critical trauma of the novel, as 9/11 struck fear into the minds of most Americans, especially those living in metropolitan centers, specifically New York, who feared that they might be the victims of another attack. As Avery notes, her fears from that time were broad and diffused, whereas her present investigation explores specific details of the lives that were touched or taken on 9/11. Her excitement may be a combination of foreseeing the success of her 9/11 special and the chance of bringing a sense of peace to Victoria’s memory and to Victoria’s friends and family.

“My goal is to tell America the story of Victoria Ford. Her life, her flaws, and the tragic day she died along with three thousand other souls. And now, twenty years later, her remains have finally been identified. That she was involved in a sensational murder investigation is simply part of her life’s story. That she claimed, until the final moments of her life, to be innocent, is also one of the facts of the case. The recordings are there for everyone to hear, and they form an arc in this story—from the beginning to the very sad and tragic ending—that I want to share with my audience. You and your investigation are part of the story, so even if what you tell me contradicts what Emma Kind believes, I’m okay with that. Yours is a crucial part of the story and I need to hear and understand it all.”

This passage outlines Avery’s sense of journalistic integrity and the ethics of journalism. Her goal is not to present a skewed story leaning either toward Victoria’s guilt or innocence, but to present the facts of Victoria’s life and case to the public, allowing them to draw their own conclusions. Implicit, though, is Avery’s belief in Victoria’s innocence based on the recordings of her messages to Emma, as she notes how these recordings will be available for everyone to hear. Presumably, Avery thinks that most people will conclude that Victoria is innocent based on the recordings, regardless of the Walt’s investigation concluded.

“‘It’s confusing. I loved her, she betrayed me, and there’s no possible way for us to be together. I should just leave it alone, but for some reason I go through this self-sabotage each year and, trust me, I’m no better for it.’

‘It’s because you’re looking for a way to forgive her.’

Walt blinked as if a piece of debris had flown into his face. ‘Am I?’

‘Of course you are,’ Avery said with conviction. ‘You just told me you had unfinished business here in New York. Forgiving her is it.’”

This passage serves a dual purpose, as Avery exposes the truth behind Walt’s reluctant trips to New York each year, but she also reveals her own goal in coming to New York to investigate Victoria’s case. Walt expresses displeasure at his own actions but tries to diffuse his introspection by saying “for some reason,” just like how Avery is supposedly unsure of her goals with Garth. In reality, as Avery notes of Walt, here, both characters come to New York with a common goal of moving past the traumas they have experienced, which, for Walt, is forgiving Meghan, and, for Avery, is forgiving Garth.

“I’m not sure what I believe at the moment. And you don’t want me to start a re-investigation of the case believing one thing or another. For me to do my job properly I have to stay neutral and unbiased. I have to collect all the information I can find, analyze it, and then come to my own conclusion. If there is anything that suggests Victoria is innocent, I’ll pursue it. I promise. But what I need to do first is learn all I can about your sister, and I need your help on that.”

Avery outlines her journalistic ethics to Emma, here, as she explains how her investigation into Victoria’s life is meant to play out. Though she will keep an open mind, Avery does not want to direct her investigation toward a specific outcome, favoring, instead, an abstract desire for truth. Wherever the evidence leads her, she is likely to follow, but she wants to make sure she is gathering all the information pertinent to the case before taking any specific course of action.

“Avery didn’t mention that the ‘house’ was a ten-thousand-square-foot mansion on the beach, and that it was not ‘gone’ as much as confiscated by the government, like every other piece of property her family had owned. She also skipped the fact that her mother was dead, her father was a crook, and that her time in New York this summer had much greater repercussions than shedding light on Victoria Ford’s guilt or innocence. Just life’s little details, Avery thought as she sipped her beer. The minor things she kept to herself when meeting new people.”

The humor in this passage is self-deprecating, as Avery thinks of her crisis of identity and trauma as “minor things.” The humor is in the contradiction between the seriousness of her omissions and the lighthearted way she has come to view those experiences. In reality, such an acknowledgement through humor is yet another means through which Avery can continue to delay the inevitable confrontation with her past, which would mean merging her performed identity as Avery Mason with her experienced identity as Claire Montgomery.

“‘Prosecutors, some of them, believe the deck is and always has been stacked against them. They see guilty defendants getting off on technicalities. They see rock-solid cases go the other way because of reasonable doubt, despite how unreasonable it sounds to them. So, some of them try to even the playing field.’

‘By lying? Or hiding evidence?’

‘Sometimes. And Maggie Greenwald was determined to make a name for herself.’”

For Avery, the idea of ignoring or obscuring evidence is counterintuitive since her goal as a journalist is to find the truth. Walt exposes, here, the difference between seeking the truth and pursuing a given goal. For Maggie, the goal is a conviction in court, so evidence that damages the odds of a conviction is not useful in crafting a narrative of guilt. For Avery, though, all evidence is valuable, but only stories that will garner attention are worthwhile. Though these biases are distinct, they have a common thread of crafting narratives toward a specific goal.

“On the monitor, Victoria Ford crouched down next to Cameron Young, dropped the whip on the floor, and unbuckled the restraints that held his wrists to the bottom of the boarding horse. A moment earlier, she was delivering what Avery interpreted as playful punishment. But one slash of the whip had gone too far and they quickly ended things. Now she was rubbing his back.”

Thus far, most discussion of bondage play centers on the supposed violence and aggression that characters like Walt and Ken perceive as innate to “deviant” sexuality. Avery, presenting a more balanced mindset, watches the video of Victoria and Cameron and sees that no such violence and aggression is present in the sexual acts displayed. Significantly, Victoria acknowledging Cameron’s pain proves that Victoria is unlikely to, even accidentally, kill or injure Cameron during sex. Further, the fact that Walt made a judgment without watching the whole video exposes the prejudices against such sexual play.

“The thought crossed his mind that he was being manipulated today in much the same way he had been twenty years earlier. He’d fallen for the romanticism of it all—a delicate case, a top target, and the glory that would come from a successful operation. That he’d have to put his ethics aside and quell any moral objections that arose was simply part of the job, Jim Oliver had convinced him. And now Walt had gone and made a goddamn mess of things. He was sleeping with the woman who was under his surveillance. Worse than that, he was feeling something for her.”

The repetition of Walt’s feeling of distrust for authority is rooted in the doubt he holds about the initial investigation. Now that he is seeing evidence that indicates Victoria may be innocent, he is questioning his position both in the past and in the present investigations. At the same time, Walt is realizing how he has perpetuated the betrayal that he experienced with Meghan by inflicting a similar trauma onto Avery. The questions of ethics and morality reflect how Walt is critically evaluating his own identity in relation to these events, trying to decide if he is a moral person.

“In addition to reviewing the Cameron Young case, they had shared painful secrets about their pasts. Aside from Connie Clarkson, Walt was the first person Avery had discussed her father with. He hadn’t seemed stunned or scared or appalled or any of the other reactions Avery imagined people having when they found out who her father was. The truth, Avery finally understood, was that Walt’s reaction was normal. Her father’s crimes were not a reflection of who she was.”

This passage reveals a critical moment in Avery’s confrontation with her past and her identity. She realizes that Walt’s reaction, which was largely one of interest, is a normal response to hearing that someone’s parents may not have been “good” people. The actions of her father, literally, do not translate, for most people, to her own sense of self or the way others perceive her morally and ethically. Up until this point, as Avery acknowledges, she expected people to react with fear or disgust, which was largely tied to her own doubts about herself and her family.

“Was she such a poor judge of character to miss all the red flags? Was she so desperate for companionship that she allowed his story of betrayal to resonate with her own? Was that part of Walt’s past even true? Couldn’t she see how convenient it all was? That the detective in the Cameron Young case, now a retired agent of the FBI, was so eager to help when she called? Had her ego as a respected television journalist clouded her reason? ‘Dammit!’ she shouted as she swiped the photos to the floor.”

Avery officially experiences the same chain of emotions that Walt experienced when he found out that Meghan was Jason’s wife. She does not understand how she could fail to see the indications that Walt’s intentions were less that moral, and she directs that frustration at herself, as well. Unfortunately, in a situation of betrayal such as this, the question becomes whether anything the betrayer said or did was legitimate. Avery now doubts Walt’s feelings, much as Walt must have doubted Meghan’s in the past.

“All at once Jim Oliver felt his career slipping away. He’d hung everything on his promise of pulling Walt Jenkins out of retirement and delivering Garth Montgomery. The operation had gone better than predicted, and was a greater triumph than what he’d sold to his superiors. Claire Montgomery had, in the end, provided the critical information needed on her father’s whereabouts, and was the reason a warrant had been secured so quickly. But now, here he stood in an empty cabin in the mountains—either completely incorrect about what he though was inside, or just a moment too late.”

This line of thought in James Oliver’s mind as he realizes that Garth may not be in the cabin highlights the critical issue between searching for truth and searching for justice. In a search for truth, the goal of a raid would be to ascertain if a fugitive was present, and, even if not, if there was any evidence hinting at their location, while a search for justice, in this case, is focused solely on apprehending the target. For James, the possibility of failing to enforce justice threatens his well-being and career, and the possible value of truth is irrelevant.

“‘I missed you,’ he said.

Avery looked over at him. ‘I still think you’re an asshole.’

‘No argument from me on that front. Just know that I’m working really hard on changing that.’

A minute of silence passed before Avery spoke.

‘I missed you, too.’

‘I’ll take that,’ Walt said, keeping his eyes on the road. ‘I’ll take that any day of the week.’

Walt reached over and took her hand. She didn’t resist.”

This passage shows how Avery and Walt, in the aftermath of the case, have overcome a large part of their trauma. There is still a hesitation for Avery, as well as the admission of “working really hard” from Walt, but these, too, indicate progress toward a happier and healthier mindset. In this instance, Avery not resisting Walt holding her hand could be taken as Avery allowing Walt in her personal space, which is figuratively a representation of her letting someone into her life more broadly.

“The American Events special had not named names as to who might have planted the evidence, because to do so was a liability the network was not prepared to take. And it had never been Avery’s goal to solve the case. She’d made just two promises. The first was to Emma Kind that Avery would do her best to show the world that Victoria was innocent. The second was to Natalie Ratcliff that, in exchange for Natalie’s help, Avery would stay silent on the truth about Victoria’s disappearance. She had made good on both.”

Avery’s goals in producing the special highlight her particular ethical understanding of journalism, which often includes a dependence on “sources,” or people that inform a journalist in exchange for anonymity. Effectively, Avery has ensured Victoria’s anonymity, ironically, by making a special about her without revealing the full truth about her life. This decision falls into a gray area in which Avery is not presenting the entire truth, but she is making omissions to protect someone, not to condemn a different person.