“‘I’m Alessandra. I don’t know if you have siblings, but there’s nothing more important to me than my sisters.’ […] 

Shit. Just like I could never leave Caroline or Gavin. I understand that need on a cellular, primal level.”

The reader’s first introduction to Allie characterizes her as someone protective and caring of her siblings. Additionally, it conveys the similarities between Hudson and Allie’s characters and why Hudson immediately falls in love with her: they are both deeply dedicated to protecting their siblings. Even at a young age, Hudson and Allie both prioritize their families, a factor that will raise the issue of The Balance Between Personal and Professional Dreams when they are adults.

“It should have been Lina here, not me. She’d been perfect for this role, as our mother had no trouble reminding me over the last three months of rehearsal. Stab. Push. Pull. I stitched as if the thread could hold closed the decade-old wound of grief that never quite healed.”

Allie’s thoughts as she stitches her tights and prepares for her role in Giselle reveal two important components of her character. First, she still feels guilt over the fact that Lina is no longer alive to be in the ballet. Second, it shows the pressure she feels from her mother, who repeatedly reminds her of Lina’s death, a pressure highlighted through the vicious verbs Allie uses as she sews: “Stab. Push. Pull.” This simile compares her sewing the rip in her tights to trying to “sew” up the “grief” she feels over Lina’s death.

“The pressure transformed into an ache. How the fuck was it possible to miss her like this after ten years? Her whiskey-colored eyes, the way her nose scrunched when she laughed, her smile—the real one, not the polished, fake shit she gave everyone else—the way she’d had the rare ability to really listen…”

These thoughts from Hudson convey the love that he still secretly harbors for Allie, even after 10 years. This emphasizes the importance of the shifting first-person point of view in the novel. This perspective offers insight into Hudson’s deepest thoughts, despite the fact that he hides them from Allie and everyone else. The specifics that he offers about Allie—from her “whiskey-colored” eyes to the way she laughs illustrate his deep attachment, while his understanding of when she is being fake or authentic shows his close attention to even the nuances of her behavior.

“I forced the hurt, the sour taste of betrayal, and the dying hope that he’d had some forgivable reason for ghosting me into a mental box and locked it away just like I did the physical pain during rehearsals. I refused to let it touch me. Then I plastered a practice public smile on my face.”

Allie uses the metaphor of a box to describe how she compartmentalizes and deals with her feelings for Hudson. She compares her compartmentalization to a physical box, into which she can put her negative feelings to instead convey happiness and contentment through her “public smile.” Allie’s strategy illustrates the depth of her hurt, while the metaphor of locking it away highlights how she is hiding that hurt from everyone, especially Hudson.

“‘[Kenna’s] your closest friend, Allie,’ Anne lectured, but it was the note of worry in her tone that kept me from sniping back.

‘And the Company’s orthopedic specialist,’ I reminded her, grabbing the empty water bottle and starting toward the recycling bin inside the pantry. ‘And we both know I’m not making the progress she’ll want, and she’ll have to report that to Vasily.’”

The conflict that Allie feels over her relationship with Kenna emphasizes the theme of the balance between personal and professional dreams. After Allie’s injury, she realizes that her entire life is wrapped up in ballet, as even her “closest friend” is tied to the Company. While she needs personal support, she is unable to get it from even her friends because they are all tied to her professional life.

“Tires squealed in my memory. Glass shattered. Metal crunched. No matter how much was missing from that evening, the moment of impact stayed with me. And parts of what memory I did have didn’t match the official report, which made me question the rest of it.”

As moments from the crash that killed Lina infiltrate Allie’s thoughts, she also questions how reliable her memory is and what really happened. However, the sensory imagery lodged in her memory is concrete and evocative, expressed with words like “shattered” and “crunched.” Moments like this foreshadow the truth about what happened. While it is something that has haunted her and impacted her life for over a decade, she also never truly knew the truth as her mother lied to her about what happened.

“This was how it should have been back then, me introducing her to my family, us walking together in broad daylight instead of sneaking around in the cover of darkness. This was what we could have had if I’d been strong enough to hold on to her. You’re strong enough now. But I was ten years and one enormous mistake too late.”

As Hudson and Allie begin to spend time together again, Hudson draws parallels between how they were a decade ago when they were together and how they are now while simultaneously imagining a different path for them with his reference to what they “could have had.” These parallels emphasize the idea that Hudson and Allie are soulmates, a romance trope that conveys the idea that two people are destined to be together no matter what obstacles they face. For Allie and Hudson, they spent 10 years apart yet still feel as though things are returning to the way they used to be. Despite Hudson’s insistence that he is “too late” because of the “enormous mistake” he made, their status as soulmates foreshadows that they will be able to overcome anything because they are destined to be together.

“I closed out the app and fought to breathe through the crushing, sharp pain blooming in my chest. Formal reviews in the Times had nothing on the casual viciousness of the internet. […] Why would Eva send me something like that? Didn’t she realize I was already well aware of what people were saying? […] I took Sadie inside and fed us both, then hit the gym. The only person telling me what I could and couldn’t do was me.”

Allie’s reaction to seeing the social media comments and reactions to her injury emphasizes the role that social media plays in The Pressures of Athletic Excellence. Allie feels a “sharp pain,” a visceral reaction, after reading what people are saying, allowing it to impact her emotional well-being. However, it also shows the duality of social media. While it devastates her, it also motivates her, convincing her to return to training to prove all of the negative comments wrong.

“[Sophie] threw the cup at me, water and all. The plastic hit the hardwood a couple feet away with a thwack, and water splashed up, splattering the bottom of my legs. I waited for the embarrassment to hit, the sorrow that I’d disappointed her yet again, but there was nothing. She was the water, and I was not a sieve.”

Allie’s reaction to her mother throwing a paint cup at her emphasizes two things. First, it shows how emotionally abusive Sophie is toward her daughter, refusing to speak with her, forcing her into ballet positions, and even physically abusing her. Second, it reveals how common these actions are, as Allie has become “numb” to them. The metaphor, which compares Sophie to water and Allie to a sieve, reveals how Allie thinks of her mother’s abuse: she allowed it to flow through the holes in her that were created over the years, but now it flows over, not through, her.

“Mom stood up from her chair as I sat the cooler next to Dad’s, then leaned into a quick hug. ‘Allie!’ She pivoted without warning and threw her arms around Allie. 

Allie froze for a noticeable second, then hugged her back awkwardly. ‘Mrs. Ellis.’”

After Allie’s interaction with her mother, just a few pages later she is excitedly greeted and hugged by Hudson’s mother, juxtaposing the difference between the two women. Because these lines are told through Hudson’s perspective, he does not fully grasp why Allie “freezes” or feels awkward. However, through dramatic irony, the narrative illustrates why this interaction is strange for Allie. She is used to the abusive, belittling nature of her own mother—not the kind, caring nature of Hudson’s.

“You ran off from your support system while rehabilitating a serious injury, refused to pick up the damned phone, and forced me to rent a car and drive it—which I have not done since moving back to Manhattan—from the world’s smallest airport because there’s no Uber out here in the beach town of Nicholas Sparksville.”

When Kenna comes out to see Allie—because Allie is refusing to answer her calls—her first words to her emphasize the small and quiet yet romantic nature of Cape Cod. The words “Nicholas Sparksville” are an allusion to Nicholas Sparks, an author who has written dozens of romance novels, mostly about people from small, romantic towns who find true love. Kenna’s words are an example of metacommentary, as they humorously comment on Variation itself: just like Nicholas Sparks’s novels, it is about soulmates who find love in a small town.

“The ocean wouldn’t care if I danced or retired, if I kissed Hudson or walked away. The waves would come regardless of my relationship with Juniper, and they would keep coming long after we were only memories. In a way, my insignificance was comforting enough that I could finally speak the truth.”

Allie’s thoughts as she finally admits to Kenna that she is unsure if she can—or wants—to continue ballet emphasize the importance of the setting. Now that she is outside of New York, Allie can truly consider her life. She realizes that there is much more to life than the ballet studio and the Company—such as the ocean—and that what she does or does not do is truly “insignificant” in the grand scheme of things.

“‘You look entirely too good in a tux to ever wear one in public again.’ 

Even knowing [Allie] was just playing the role, I couldn’t help but grin.”

After Allie compliments Hudson’s tuxedo at the gala, he assumes that she is just “playing the role” of being attracted to and caring about him. However, this is an example of dramatic irony, as the reader knows that Hudson is wrong. Due to the shifting first-person points of view, the narrative has already revealed that Allie is truly attracted to Hudson and is speaking the truth about how she feels.

“We stopped behind our chairs, and I picked up my card. Alessandra Rousseau Guest. My chest tightened. The guest somehow bothered me more than the choreographer had. Vasily had given the direction, but Anne had still printed it as if she hadn’t believed Allie would actually bring me.”

Hudson sees his card at the gala, which just reads “guest,” as a symbolic representation of his status in Allie’s life. Currently, he is just a “guest” with a brief view into her real life, playing the role of her boyfriend instead of actually being with her.

“We’d flipped roles, and yet we were both…ourselves. There was no point bothering with my carefully constructed defenses. I didn’t have to be poised around him or present the illusion of perfection because he already knew I was neither of those things at my core. Inside, I was imperfect, and unkempt, and chaotic, just like him.”

These thoughts from Allie convey how she is changing in the novel. Previously, she still tried to hide her true feelings from Hudson; now, however, she begins to open up and let him into how she feels. This also conveys the theme of The Power of Love to Heal and Transform: For the first time in her life, Allie has found someone who she can be herself around, instead of masking her true feelings for the sake of her ballet career.

“The only thing going back to New York had shown me was that I wasn’t quite sure I liked who I was when I was there. If I even knew who I was. I’d only felt like myself around Hudson.”

This admission from Allie conveys the change that she is undergoing in the text. For the first time, she is acknowledging just how much damage the pressures of athletic excellence have done to her. After being removed from the Company for so long, her return opens up her eyes to the fact that it is a toxic place that encourages her to focus solely on her ballet—instead of who she is or what makes her happy.

“‘Will you just let me hold you for once?’ His arms tightened. ‘You don’t have to handle everything on your own, Allie. You can be scared, and you can love Juniper even if it’s messy. Messy is good, love. Messy is where the best parts of life happen. You don’t have to be in control at all times.”

After Hudson saves June’s life in the water, Allie is shaken, but she pushes back against Hudson’s attempts to comfort her. Hudson’s words here highlight what Allie is battling with: Because of the competitive nature of ballet, she is always emotionally closed off from others, unable to trust, and constantly seeking perfection in herself. Hudson’s repetition of the word “messy” emphasizes his understanding that Allie needs to step away from the perfection and “control” that dominates the world of ballet to be truly happy.

“You and me…we don’t fit in each other’s worlds, Hudson. Not outside this tiny little town neither you nor I actually belong in. Do you see what happened when I took a few days off? I lost the role of my life. I should have been here working. That’s what happens when I try to balance my career with anything else.”

After Allie stays an extra day camping and ignores her phone, she comes back to discover that Eva stole her role in Equinox. This is a setback in Allie’s character arc, as she separates herself from Hudson, insisting that her efforts at “balance” may have cost her her career. These words emphasize her struggle with the balance between personal and professional dreams. However, despite her insistence that she tried to “balance” her life, she fails to recognize that failed at doing so. She became completely wrapped up in being with Hudson, devoting too much to her personal life and failing to keep her professional life in her mind as well.

“Whether or not you like Sophie Rousseau, you have to hand it to her for bringing in a shit ton of business to a small town. This is the kind of thing that happens in New York or Boston. Not here.”

Gavin’s words to Caroline before the Classic, which highlight what the Classic has done for Cape Cod, emphasize the duality of Sophie’s character. While she was emotionally and physically abusive in her efforts to force her daughters—and other young girls—into ballet, she also gave them an opportunity that they would not normally have in Cape Cod. Similarly, she brought Allie a successful career, even if the ends do not justify the means.

“‘He could walk through the doors of the county courthouse and petition to take her from the only home she’s ever known. What have you done?’ [Caroline] leveled a murderous look on each of us. The three of us fell into a stunned silence, and I tried to swim through the heaviness of my own ignorance. None of us had thought that part through.”

The moment that Caroline reveals the truth about June’s adoption—that she had to sign an agreement not to let her do ballet—highlights the moral ambiguity of what Hudson, Allie, and Gavin have done throughout the novel. Although they are portrayed as good people as they try to let June pursue ballet and introduce her to her biological family, they ignore Caroline’s wishes without understanding the repercussions.

“‘I think she used Juniper as leverage.’ The words tripped over themselves on their way out of my mouth.

Kenna’s eyebrows shot up.

Anne gasped and pulled her hand from mine. ‘She wouldn’t.’

Eloise turned a knowing look on Anne. ‘For all of Lina’s wonderful qualities, are you forgetting whose daughter she is?’”

The moment Allie confesses that Lina used June’s birth as leverage to get a contract with the Company conveys an important idea that is threaded throughout the novel: People are neither all good nor all evil; the reality is more ambiguous and complex. Just as Allie and Hudson ignore Caroline’s wishes when they help June and Sophie damages Allie’s mental and physical health while also giving her a ballet career, Lina, too, acts in a morally ambiguous way. Despite Allie’s insistence that Lina was a good person and that she needs to succeed in her ballet career for Lina, she acknowledges for the first time that Lina was also a flawed person, just like the rest of them.

“Putting the bottle on the floor, I moved to Lina’s barre position, searching for any trace of her in my own reflection as I stood barefoot in cotton pajama pants and a tank top. But I didn’t see Lina, or even my mother. I only saw myself, principal dancer at whatever company I chose.”

After the novel’s climax, in which Allie gets her part in Equinox, she returns to the dance studio. Now, however, she is there for herself, and her recognition that it is only her in the reflection shows how she is leaving her mother and Lina’s influence behind. She is no longer choosing to do ballet for them but is instead making decisions about her own life that benefit her.

“[My mother] had kept me tethered to her wants, her dreams, for decades, binding me with little ropes she’d declared were love. But now I knew they were guilt, shaping me into someone I hardly recognized anymore. […] Each truth snapped one of those ropes, the rebound stinging my soul.”

When Allie confronts her mother about everything she has been through, she uses a metaphor to convey how she feels. She compares her mother’s control over her to “little ropes,” which bound her to her mother and the Company. Now, confronting her mother snaps each of those ropes along with the control that Sophie had over her. Notably, however, each broken rope “stings” her, conveying how it hurts to separate herself from her mother but it is a necessary evil for her to heal and be truly happy.