In the late 1960s, Dick Hopkins sold his bakery when a new freeway destroyed his business. In 1968, at age 54, he became the manager of the Ship Inn pub in Caerleon with his wife Muriel. Though initially happy, his mood darkened; he drank more heavily and obsessed about death. One Sunday morning, struggling to breathe and feeling despondent, he reminisced with Hopkins about a pub they had almost purchased in 1949. He asked Hopkins to recite Hamlet’s “Alas, poor Yorick” soliloquy and then retreated to the stockroom to cry.

Hopkins traces his experience with alcohol addiction to family tradition, citing his Uncle Jim, who worked in Glasgow shipyards and “drank himself to death” (158) in an “asylum.” Hopkins began drinking seriously in the early 1960s, embracing the era’s drinking culture. He lists famous actors of the period who succumbed to alcohol addiction, but he notes that he preferred to drink alone. When pressed about his drinking, he responded aggressively.

In 1963, expecting a comedy, Hopkins saw Days of Wine and Roses at a Leicester cinema. The film’s portrayal of alcohol addiction (particularly a poem about life as a dream and the tragic ending in which the sober protagonist must let his still-drinking wife go) moved him. He recognized his own problem but identified with the character who continued drinking. It would be another 12 years before he stopped.

Hopkins met a film producer’s assistant, Jenni Lynton, on December 5, 1969, while filming at Pinewood Studios. Despite his instability and heavy drinking, she agreed to marry him. Her father noted Hopkins’s drinking, but the family accepted him.

On January 8, 1973, five days before their wedding, Hopkins woke from a dream and decided to quit the National Theatre’s production of Macbeth. He refused to endure director John Dexter’s bullying any longer. When Hopkins called his agent, Jeremy Conway, Conway warned that he would never work again. At Conway’s office, Hopkins received calls from theater manager Michael Halifax and Olivier himself, both trying to dissuade him via the same warning. Hopkins refused to reconsider.

He and Jenni were married on a Saturday in Barnes. John Dexter and other National Theatre actors attended the reception, though Dexter did not speak to Hopkins. They honeymooned in the Lake District, and Jenni drove them there since Hopkins lacked a license.

A week later, Conway called about American casting director Renée Valente, who wanted to meet Hopkins for a television series. A car transported him from the Lake District to the Dorchester hotel in London. Valente offered him the lead role of Adam Kelno in QB VII, based on Leon Uris’s book and backed by an impressive cast. On Saturday, January 27, Hopkins received confirmation that the role was his.

Filming for QB VII began at Pinewood Studios and moved to Israel. The series dramatized a real libel case involving a doctor who performed surgeries at Auschwitz. When Hopkins objected to an American actor dubbing the voice of Jack Hawkins, who had throat cancer, he performed the dubbing himself, which impressed his father more than most of his acting work.

While Hopkins was filming The Girl from Petrovka with Goldie Hawn, a Russian dialect coach introduced him to tequila, which worsened his reliance on alcohol and caused hallucinations. During A Doll’s House with Claire Bloom in 1973, Hopkins improvised by violently smashing a Christmas tree, genuinely shocking his costar.

In the television drama The Arcata Promise, Hopkins played an alcohol-addicted actor whose partner had left him. Director David Cunliffe told him the role mirrored his own life. Despite recognizing himself in the character’s denial, Hopkins drank scotch before shooting began. The producer bet he would not complete the performance, but Hopkins succeeded through sheer willpower. Later, a studio chaplain who saw Hopkins drinking alone warned that it would kill him.

While Hopkins was in Vienna, director John Dexter offered him the lead in the New York production of Equus. When Hopkins confronted him about past bullying, Dexter claimed that Hopkins needed his tough direction. Hopkins accepted.

He made his first trip to Hollywood for the Goldie Hawn film. He walked along Sunset Boulevard, visited the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and witnessed a police shooting. He spent nights at Dino’s Lodge bar. A publicity man advised him to attend parties to advance his career, which depressed him. Sybil Williams (Richard Burton’s ex-wife) counselled him to ignore this advice and focus on his craft. The next day, Hopkins was offered a role in The Elephant Man.

Hopkins arrived in New York in 1974 for Equus rehearsals. He sat in on Lee Strasberg’s acting class and met Stella Adler, who told him to be tough in the business. Castmate Michael Higgins noticed Hopkins compulsively walking on the curb or in the gutter to avoid being hit by someone jumping from a building—a phobia dating to childhood.

Director John Dexter verbally abused the cast, but Hopkins used “dumb insolence” to cope. He got castmate Marian Seldes drunk on sake; Dexter warned her away from him. The play opened in October to rave reviews, guaranteeing an eight-month run. His parents attended the opening night party at Sardi’s.

In January 1975, Hopkins was hospitalized with life-threatening thrombosis. Dr. Rosenthal told him that at 37, he had the body of a much older man due to heavy drinking. Test results showed liver, pancreas, and lung problems. The doctor strongly advised him to stop smoking and drinking immediately, questioning why successful people self-destruct.

Castmate Mary Doyle, recovering from alcohol addiction, described alcohol addiction as a threefold illness, but Hopkins remained unconvinced. Near the end of his Equus run, he stopped drinking for two weeks to prove he did not have an alcohol addiction. At a farewell party, he relapsed and blacked out. The next morning, traveling to the airport for his new role in Los Angeles, Hopkins felt overwhelmed with shame.

Later, Hopkins drove in a drunken blackout from Arizona to Beverly Hills. After his agent told him that he had been found on the road during the blackout, he realized that he could have killed someone. On December 29, 1975, an internal voice asked him whether he wanted to live or die. He chose life, and his craving for alcohol vanished. His friend Bob Palmer and Palmer’s friend, George, took him to his first 12-step meeting, where he identified with other alcohol addicts and realized that he was not alone. At a Catholic church, a priest told him that his choice represented grace. Hopkins reflected that accepting help rather than fighting his weakness had saved his life.