NOW

Abbi Bennett is 16 years old, and it has been 11 years since her mother disappeared from a store parking lot when Scott Bennett, her father, walks into her bedroom with Meredith, her stepmother. Scott looks like he is having a heart attack. Abbi wonders if something is wrong with Meredith’s sons, Caleb and Thad, but her biggest fear is that her father will be taken from her like her mother was. 

Scott tells Abbi that her mother Kate is alive, despite the fact that they had a funeral for her five years ago. Kate has been found somewhere in Montana. Abbi, Scott, and Meredith drive to the hospital in Montana, and, along the way, Abbi thinks about how she never really knew her mother. Abbi was five years old when her mother disappeared, and most of what she knows about Kate she learned from her father. Scott was a suspect in his wife’s disappearance, but he spent years investigating and canvassing to find her. Now, Abbi notes that her mother was found with a baby, which “only means one thing” (8).

NOW

During the car ride, Meredith recalls how she and Scott met. After Meredith’s husband, James, died of cancer, she joined a support group. Scott was also a member, and everyone recognized him because Kate’s disappearance was covered in the media. Over time, Meredith and Scott became friends, bonding over online chess and late-night conversations. 

Scott talked about Kate a lot, making Meredith feel like she knew the woman, but Meredith eventually suggested ways for Scott to move on. Five years ago, Scott declared Kate dead and began dating Meredith a year later, culminating in their marriage 10 months ago. Caleb and Thad were going to college when Meredith remarried, so they were not impacted by the marriage as much as Abbi, who was reluctant to share her father. Thad and Caleb became close with Abbi, smoothing over the new family situation. 

When the police came to the door with news about Kate, Scott assumed they had found her body, and he reeled with the realization that Kate is alive. Meredith feels like their lives will be split into before and after the shock of this news. She turns on the radio, accidentally waking Abbi in the back seat, and Scott asks to remain in silence.

NOW

At the hospital, only Scott and Meredith are allowed into an office with Marcos, the local lead investigator on the case. Abbi is frustrated to be treated like a child, but she is glad Scott has Meredith to support him. Her phone buzzes constantly, and her best friend, Meaghan, wants to know how things are going. 

Abbi remembers being excluded from conversations about her mother for years, even though she imagined every possible, horrible situation her mother could be in. She used to think about her mother constantly, believing her mother would die without her mental attention, and for years Abbi cut her hair the same way to make sure her mother would recognize her. Now, she worries about how her mother will react when she finds out that Scott remarried, remembering that Scott always called his and Kate’s love unique.

NOW

Meredith and Scott sit with Marcos, his partner, a police officer, and a number of doctors in the office. Scott asks nonstop questions, going in circles while Marco patiently answers as many as he can. They do not know where Kate was, how she got to the gas station, or anything about her baby. The medical director is coming in at eight o’clock, and she is the only one who can clear Kate to have visitors. 

Meredith remembers how Scott felt the police mishandled Kate’s case, and Meredith’s mother once cautioned her against dating a murder suspect. Marcos will let them see Kate, but he asks that Scott report any information Kate gives him. He warns that Kate has been through a lot, and she has not spoken since being medicated in the ambulance. Scott squeezes Meredith’s hand and prepares to see Kate with Meredith and Abbi.

NOW

Scott prepares Abbi to meet her mother, warning her that Kate will not look like Abbi remembers. She never told him how little she remembered about her mother, who was more of a fairytale figure from Abbi’s childhood. She knew Scott and Kate grew up together, dated as teenagers, and got married, but her memories of Kate are all from Scott’s stories. She used to dress in Kate’s clothes, but they were more like costumes to her. 

Abbi worries that Kate does not have anything to wear, and Scott assures her that they will find her some clothes. When they enter the hospital room, Abbie sees that Kate is frail and tired looking. Her blonde hair is gray, with missing patches, and she smells like spoiled milk. 

Kate hugs Abbi, and Abbi feels that Kate is her mother. They cry, and then Abbi steps back to let Scott embrace Kate. Everyone steps away to give Scott and Kate space, and no one can hear what they whisper to each other. Meredith hugs Abbi and welcomes Kate home.

NOW

Meredith and Scott drive around while Abbi sleeps in the back seat. Scott is upset that Marcos did not warn them about Kate’s appearance, and Meredith feels like Kate’s eyes are “dead.” Meredith asks what Scott and Kate whispered to each other, and Scott says Kate called him “Scottie,” a nickname from their childhood that he hates. Meredith knows Scott loves her, but she remembers how Scott felt like part of him died when Kate disappeared.

THEN

The chapter switches to Kate’s perspective. She goes to the grocery store on a Friday afternoon, and she reflects on returning to work. She and Scott moved to Arcata, California, after Kate garnered national acclaim as a journalist exposing elder abuse. She got a job with Forum, a local newsgroup, but decided to stay at home with Abbi until her daughter turned five. 

Soon after she returned to work, Leo, Kate’s editor, offered her a large job interviewing the leader of Love International, a group that settled near Pierce College to help students recover from addiction at no cost. However, students are dropping out of school to join Love International, which is making parents and the community nervous. No one knows anything about Love International or its leader, Ray Fischer, who declines any attempt at contact from the media. 

Ray asked to be interviewed by Kate specifically, forcing Leo to give her the assignment. Kate loves being a mother, but she is also excited to be back at work. Leaving the grocery store, Kate is excited about her interview with Ray on Monday.

NOW

Abbi struggles to eat with Scott and Meredith in their hotel room. An armed guard stands outside since the media is trying to investigate Kate’s case. Abbi bursts into tears, confused and irritated by her fluctuating emotions. Scott comforts her, telling her how he dealt with Kate’s disappearance by focusing on single tasks, like eating and sleeping. 

Abbi asks about Shiloh, Kate’s baby, which makes Scott uncomfortable. He says Kate was severely dehydrated and malnourished, which can have long-term effects on the body, but Shiloh is healthy because she was able to breastfeed. Scott confirms that Kate gave birth to Shiloh seven weeks ago.

Abbi, Meredith, and Scott meet Marcos at the hospital. The medical director has cleared Kate for questioning, but Kate does not know basic information like the year and day. Scott is relieved when Marcos says the FBI is getting involved, which is what he wanted when Kate disappeared. 

Abbi asks what happened to Kate, and Marcos reports that Kate was systematically tortured for years. She had a tooth removed improperly, was whipped and burned, and received no care during or after pregnancy. Meredith tries to stop Marcos from continuing, but Abbi tells Meredith to leave, wanting to understand everything Kate went through.

THEN

The chapter switches to Kate’s perspective. She goes to Love International headquarters, and she is shocked by the beige walls and sterile atmosphere. A woman named Bekah, wearing a beige shirt and long skirt, greets Kate and shows her the detox rooms, which only contain beds. Kate thinks about her mother’s addiction and questions the safety of Love International’s detox methods. 

Bekah leads Kate to Ray’s office but dodges questions about “disciples.” Ray is incredibly handsome, and Kate is unnerved by his soul-piercing stare. She asks him about himself, but he deflects and asks about Kate’s marriage. Kate and Scott have been together since they were 9 years old and have been married since they were 17. They have fought about telling people about their relationship since many people think it is strange or inappropriate. Ray laughs at Kate’s gratitude for her marriage. 

Kate asks about Love International, and Ray says they stay in one place anywhere from days to years. He invites Kate to come to one of their meetings and escorts her from his office. Kate is disappointed that she did not find out more about Love International or Ray.

NOW

Scott and Meredith are planning on taking Kate back to Arcata to live with them, but the FBI wants to put Kate in a safe house. Meredith talks to Thad on the phone, and Thad thinks living with Kate would be dangerous. He thinks it is suspicious that she will not talk. Kate’s parents died when she was a teenager, and her only remaining family lives in Sweden.

THEN

The chapter switches to Kate’s perspective. She meets with Ray a second time, determined to get more information. He greets her with a hug, but Kate immediately asks him whether Love International is a cult. Ray denies it, explaining that Love International is a Christian organization grounded in Jesus’s beliefs and works as presented in the Bible. 

Ray tells her that he grew up poor, became a stockbroker, and suddenly realized that he was unhappy despite being rich. He gave away his possessions, started Love International, and devoted his life to charity. Kate thinks about how only rich people find themselves unhappy with money. Ray feels like he is boring Kate, who insists she is interested. He asks if she lies to her husband, which upsets her, but Ray says everyone lies. Kate asks what Ray lies about, which intrigues him.

After her fourth conversation with Ray, Kate attends a second Love International meeting. Scott tries to get Kate to stop going to Love International, citing the cult rumors and death threats directed at the group. Kate ignores him, believing he is being small-minded. 

At the meeting, most people are wearing the beige of Love International, which is supposed to be calming, but Kate is surprised to also see a lot of “regular” people in attendance. The group leader repeats a motto: “Change yourself, change the world” (56), and the group passes around a packet with the heading: “Are you happy?” (57). Kate tries to remember to get releases from members she interviewed.

NOW

Abbi, Meredith, Scott, Kate, and Shiloh sneak out of the hospital to avoid the media. Scott tries to get Kate to strap Shiloh into a car seat, but Kate panics. Abbi knows Kate is unwilling to let go of Shiloh, so she helps strap Kate into the seat. Scott gets in the driver’s seat and starts the 14-hour drive back to California. 

Kate breastfeeds Shiloh, which makes Abbi uncomfortable. Kate also cries when she looks at Abbi, and the sound of Abbi’s phone vibrating seems to upset her. Abbi reflects on the internet forums discussing Kate’s disappearance. Most people think Kate had an affair and ran away, but Scott always denied that possibility. 

Scott hopes Kate will improve at home, but Abbi knows that the changes Meredith has made to the house might upset Kate. Abbi is excited to see Dean, the FBI agent in charge of Kate’s case. Dean stayed with Scott and Abbi following Kate’s disappearance, and he is bringing a specialist to help Kate.