Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of addiction, child abuse, self-harm, death, physical abuse, and emotional abuse.

The complexity of family is a fundamental focus of When She Returned. Scott is married to both Meredith and Kate, and both marriages and families focus on the same child, Abbi. Each marriage also features a running conflict grounded in the different desires and perspectives of spouses. Part of the reason for Kate’s abandonment of Scott and Abbi is the fact that Kate wants to try new things, but Scott is set in his ways. Scott and Meredith’s marriage features an uneven power dynamic in which Meredith values her relationship with Scott over her prior marriage to James, but Scott values his marriage to Kate more than his marriage with Meredith. Meanwhile, Abbi is caught in the middle of these conflicts: She is fed an outdated, idealistic vision of Scott and Kate’s marriage, excluded from the “adult” conversations surrounding Kate’s return, and perpetually uncomfortable with Meredith as her stepmother. Through these characters’ struggles to maintain and even define their families, Berry illustrates the importance of communication and compromise in marriage, parenting, and family.

Berry presents Scott’s inability to compromise and Kate’s lack of communication as two important factors in Kate’s abandonment. Though Scott says he loves Kate, adding, “Every part of you. I want you to grow and change, experience new things” (70), Kate is dissatisfied because she wants Scott to grow, too, noting: “His contentment with sameness was more maddening the older I got” (70). Scott’s refusal to try new things and explore himself with Kate, along with the idealized version of their marriage that he presents to everyone else, leads to stagnation in their marriage. However, Kate’s inability to communicate her desires is also at work in the situation, leading her to abandon Scott for Ray and Love International. A similar pattern of behavior emerges when Kate returns, and Scott reembraces his former view of their idealized marriage. He stops communicating with Meredith and even exclaims during an argument: “This is my house, and [Kate’s] my w—” (152), pausing before completing the word “wife.” Meredith sees this outburst as an admission that she “was his second-place wife” (152). Scott’s insistence on siding with Kate over Meredith, despite Meredith’s consistent explanations about her grievances, drives them apart. Although Meredith tries to bridge the gap, Scott’s lack of communication drives a wedge between them that is only resolved with Kate’s larger plan is exposed.

Abbi has a unique perspective on their family issues as the only child involved, but the adults often remove her from the conversation, illustrating the importance of communication between all family members. Like Scott, Abbi wants to achieve the idealized family structure that she always envisioned with him and Kate. However, Abbi is consistently excluded from the conversations and decisions of the adults. When Kate returns, Abbi must sit outside while Meredith and Scott talk to Marcus, and Abbi thinks, “I hated being treated like a kid when it came to Mom’s case” (15); further, she adds that “it bothered me that Meredith had gone in the room while I had been left out” (15). The adults’ lack of communication with Abbi proves to be a dire mistake, as it creates an opening for Abbi to keep secrets with her mother, like letting Kate use her phone, and eventually even moving in with her, both of which contribute to Abbi’s attempted kidnapping. With this drastic and nearly tragic outcome and Scott and Meredith’s difficulties, Berry highlights the importance of both communication and compromise in family dynamics.