When the Moon Hits Your Eye

Chrissy Evans, a pediatric nurse and Sunday school teacher, faces an unexpected theological challenge when her young class refuses to sing a hymn about God creating the moon. The children argue that the moon no longer belongs to God and claim that the devil stole it and replaced it with the cheese moon. One child questions why God would let the devil steal the moon. Stunned and unsure of how to respond, Chrissy changes the subject rather than contradict or confirm their beliefs.

Later that day, Chrissy’s brother-in-law, James, approaches her after receiving a concerned message from a parent. Chrissy defends herself, explaining that she never said anything to promote or disprove the “devil stole the moon” narrative. Nevertheless, James, along with his wife, Abby, and Chrissy’s husband, Bobby, admits that this idea has begun circulating among members of the Midwest Evangelical Council.

Chrissy expresses alarm at this development, arguing that fear-driven narratives will only harm the community. James agrees that stoking fear is dangerous but also cautions Chrissy against dismissing others’ spiritual interpretations too readily. He encourages her to remain open-minded, especially when answers remain elusive. That night, Chrissy lies awake, consumed by anxiety and staring out at the now-glowing moon.

The Hollywood Reporter publishes an article chronicling the entertainment industry’s chaotic response to the moon’s transformation. Studios immediately halt several space-themed projects due to concerns over marketability with the moon’s changes, while others scramble to produce new content based on the cheese moon.

Hannah Leventhal, vice president of development at Bramblewood Studios, endures a long day of nonstop pitch meetings. Each proposal becomes more ridiculous than the last, and her patience wears thin as most hastily conceived pitches lean into absurdity, with pun-laden comedies and outlandish musicals. The final pitch surprises her: a grounded, heartfelt coming-of-age story set in the Deep South. Relieved, she offers to option the script, only to discover that the story is an adaptation of a novel by Vanessa Colby, making it impossible for her to avoid cheese in a single pitch.

The Chicago Tribune runs a feature on growing public curiosity about moon cheese’s taste. Although NASA continues to avoid officially confirming the moon’s new composition, many private chefs side with scientific experts. Astronomer Bill Fait explains that even if someone could retrieve a moon sample, the material would likely be degraded, irradiated, or completely carbonized due to solar bombardment and the moon’s internal collapse. Dennis Gable, director of communications at the Johnson Space Center, refuses to comment in detail, citing national security. He notes that even if the moon is cheese, it has aged four billion years, so is hardly appetizing.

Meanwhile, a bored and entitled trust-fund heir, Luke Rose, demands that his financial handler, Eric Lopez, procure authentic moon cheese. Lopez, whose job is to control Rose’s extravagant spending, pushes back. However, Rose argues that rival billionaire Thurman Mahoney is also seeking moon cheese, and he refuses to let Mahoney outdo him. Lopez agrees to investigate.

Lopez enlists Hannah Bostwick, a skilled procurement specialist. She informs him that acquiring a moon sample is nearly impossible. NASA has locked down all verified samples, and even lunar meteorite auctions on eBay have vanished. Worse, no one knows what real moon cheese tastes like, so verifying authenticity becomes nearly impossible.

Nevertheless, Bostwick locates a seller, Lamar McCarthy, who claims to possess a sample. Lopez brings Virgil Augustine, the museum director and likely the only person to taste moon cheese, to assess it. Augustine sniffs the sample and declares that it smells like parmesan. McCarthy insists that it is pecorino romano and confesses that his dog ate the real sample.

The meeting turns unexpectedly when James Ulrich, representing Mahoney, arrives and offers triple the asking price. Lopez quietly withdraws and allows Mahoney’s team to make the purchase. Afterward, Lopez and Bostwick reflect on the situation. Bostwick believes that she’s failed, but Lopez celebrates that Mahoney just spent a fortune on fake cheese. As a final touch, Chef Able Young prepares Rose a custom “moon cheese” grilled cheese using a blend based on Augustine’s tasting notes. Rose believes that he has won as the first person to taste “moon cheese.”

The lunar lander Major Tom launches from Manta, Ecuador, with full control assigned to Ricky Miller, with John Able monitoring from Houston. NASA plans to keep the uncrewed vessel in low Earth orbit and has backup systems to abort if needed. Initially, the flight proceeds as expected. Then, without warning, the craft overrides the simulation and engages in a real trans-lunar trajectory. Control hears David Bowie’s “Space Oddity” playing through the comms, and a new voice comes through: Jody Bannon.

NASA officials quickly realize that Jody replaced the HMS bot on board—designed around Jody’s mass, size, and appearance—with himself. He disguised his physical presence using a pressure suit and programmed a fake data feed to mimic bot telemetry. When confronted, Miller denies any knowledge of the swap. NSA agents confirm that they have found no evidence of his involvement. Able and Olsen both acknowledge that Jody must have spent years planning this deception.

Olsen threatens to cancel Jody’s contracts and have him arrested upon return. However, Able warns that the livestream of the launch—including Jody’s announcement—has already gone public. If NASA attempts to stop him or discredit the mission, the public backlash could be severe. Glover, the NSA operative, recommends that NASA announce the trip as a coordinated mission.

Olsen orders the team to assist Jody in reaching the moon safely. Meanwhile, Jody opens an “Ask Me Anything” on Reddit, claiming that he wanted to prove that the lander was safe. He vows to collect moon cheese and downplays his company’s stock spike, though he clearly enjoys the attention. He declares that there’s nothing wrong with a privileged billionaire being the first person on the moon in decades.