You Better Believe I'm Gonna Talk About It

Lisa Rinna, an actress and television personality, opens her memoir by recounting one of her very first scenes filming The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH), the Bravo reality franchise, in which castmate Brandi Glanville threw a glass of wine in another woman's face after a panicked call with producers about the show being boring. Rinna frames the book not as a Housewives tell-all but as a wide-ranging reflection on her three-decade career, her marriage, her family, and the transitional period following the death of her mother, Lois; her departure from RHOBH after eight seasons; and her 60th birthday, a period she calls a "Rinnaissance."

The book's emotional center is Rinna's account of her mother's death. In November 2021, Rinna learned that Lois had suffered a severe stroke at her assisted-living facility in Medford, Oregon. Doctors said there would be no rehabilitation. Lois, who had already experienced a personality-altering stroke seven years earlier, could no longer speak or walk. Rinna traveled to Oregon and moved her mother into hospice, where Lois died one week later. Rinna also discloses that her father, Frank Rinna, died years earlier by assisted suicide under Oregon's Death with Dignity Act, a law permitting physician-assisted death, at age 93. She describes preparing the medication with her half-sister Nancy and watching him die over 45 minutes while Frank Sinatra played. Bravo producers pressured Rinna to film the first scenes of the next season in Mexico just three days after Lois's death, and she arrived in a state of shock.

Rinna connects her mother's resilience to the trauma Lois endured before Rinna was born. In 1960, Lois was kidnapped, stabbed, and beaten with a hammer by a coworker named David Carpenter, who later became the serial killer known as the Trailside Killer. Lois survived with metal plates in her head, never sought therapy, and chose to live positively. Rinna did not learn the true story until she was 18. She also recounts losing her half-sister Loreen to an accidental overdose when Rinna was six, after which her father emotionally withdrew. Shortly after Lois's death, Lois appeared to Rinna in a dream and told her to leave RHOBH, a moment Rinna describes as the turning point that changed everything.

Rinna traces her journey from a bold child in Newport Beach, California, to a bullied outsider after her family moved to Medford, where her darker skin and fashionable clothes made her a target. The bullying, combined with her parents' emotionally reserved nature, suppressed her expressive personality for years. She recounts her early performing ambitions and her discovery of fashion magazines at 15. After a panic attack derailed her enrollment at Emerson College in Boston, and a brief stint at the University of Oregon ended when acting teachers failed her, she moved through modeling jobs in Portland, San Francisco, and Tokyo before settling in Los Angeles with her long-term boyfriend Bob, whom she credits as the anchor who got her there.

In LA, acting teacher Bill Cakmis told Rinna she lacked any opinion of her own and could not succeed as an actor until she found one, a critique she took as motivation. After being rejected by seven daytime soap operas, she landed the role of Billie Reed on Days of Our Lives, her breakthrough. She cut her hair into her now-signature pixie shag between audition rounds, believing the bold risk helped her get the part. She later joined Melrose Place, where actress Heather Locklear became a major mentor and where Rinna first stood up to a male costar who tried to boss her around, a pivotal moment in her self-assertion.

Rinna details how she met her husband, Harry Hamlin, an actor, at an eyeglass store where she worked part-time. After a five-and-a-half-year courtship, they married in 1997. She describes their relationship as built on shared values rather than common interests and identifies money as their biggest source of conflict, given the unpredictable income of acting careers. She advocates for women maintaining their own bank accounts. She addresses persistent rumors about Harry's sexuality, which date to his groundbreaking 1982 film Making Love, in which he played an openly gay man, a role that led to years of being blacklisted in Hollywood. Rinna credits Harry as her rock throughout RHOBH, noting he introduced her to the DSM-5, a diagnostic manual for mental disorders, to help her identify narcissistic behavior in castmates.

Rinna reflects on raising their daughters, Delilah Belle and Amelia Gray. She describes the impact of Delilah's diagnosis at age 11 with PANDAS (pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with streptococcal infections), which triggered severe panic attacks and an inability to function normally for approximately nine years. The crisis consumed the household and inadvertently overshadowed Amelia, who received less attention. RHOBH producers deemed PANDAS not compelling enough to air and cut all Rinna's on-camera discussions of it. Amelia later developed an eating disorder, which the show did exploit. Rinna also discusses experiencing severe postpartum depression after both pregnancies, including violent intrusive thoughts with Delilah that lasted 15 months. Both daughters are now thriving: Delilah models and sings, while Amelia has become a supermodel walking for Chanel and appearing in global campaigns.

The book's longest threads concern RHOBH itself. Rinna explains how producers manufactured conflict through guided conversations and details her relationships with each major castmate. She describes being manipulated by Lisa Vanderpump (LVP) through daily phone calls into questioning castmate Yolanda Hadid's Lyme disease, her single genuine regret from the show. She recounts the Puppy Gate scandal, in which she and fellow castmate Teddi Mellencamp caught LVP lying about a fabricated story involving a dog and a kill shelter. She calls LVP the greatest strategic player in the franchise's history but also its biggest coward for refusing to attend a reunion. The Amsterdam trip, in which Kim Richards, Kyle Richards's sister, threatened to expose secrets about Harry, prompting Rinna to throw water and smash a glass, became an iconic franchise moment. Kim later confessed that producers told her to provoke Rinna. Rinna identifies castmate Erika Jayne as her most loyal ally and describes standing by Erika when Erika's husband, attorney Tom Girardi, was accused of embezzling from clients, despite audience backlash.

Rinna chronicles her entrepreneurial ventures: the Belle Gray clothing boutique she and Harry opened in Sherman Oaks when they nearly lost their house, which survived 10 years before the 2008 recession forced its closure; two stints on Celebrity Apprentice; her Lisa Rinna Collection for QVC, a television shopping network, which grew to a $50 million valuation before COVID, manufacturing disputes, and political backlash ended the partnership; and Rinna Beauty, a lip kit line that has struggled to reach major retailers. She also devotes a chapter to her lifelong passion for fashion, describing her vintage designer collection, the financial burden of dressing for RHOBH with no clothing allowance, and her post-show emergence as a runway model and fashion figure at 60.

The memoir's later chapters address aging with characteristic bluntness. Rinna describes becoming the oldest woman to appear on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine and pushes back against ageist pressure to step aside for younger women. She details severe menopause symptoms beginning at 53, including hot flashes, anxiety, and insomnia, and credits hormone replacement therapy with transforming her quality of life. She discusses cosmetic procedures openly, advocating for moderation while recounting a mishap involving filler and jaw Botox that caused her face to swell and generated viral mockery. She addresses persistent anorexia rumors directly, stating she has never been diagnosed or treated for an eating disorder.

Rinna closes by reflecting on the philosophy behind her catchphrase "Own it, baby!" which originated at the season six reunion when she confronted LVP with phone records proving LVP's manipulative calls. She acknowledges selling her soul for eight years on a show misaligned with who she truly is but would not trade the lessons learned. She argues she was made into a villain not by producers but by the fan base, and that the overwhelming negativity drove her departure. Since leaving, she has gone no contact with Bravo and describes her post-show life as a dramatic upswing: walking Paris runway shows, landing magazine covers, and receiving designer couture for the first time. She credits her late mother's dream visitation with giving her the clarity to leave and declares her story far from over.