You Killed Me First

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes descriptions of physical and emotional abuse, mental illness, suicidal ideation, self-harm, and anti-LGBTQ+ bias. The guide quotes and obscures profanity that appears in the source text.

“‘I’m sorry, but I can’t. You are going to burn alive in a bonfire of your own making.’ 

‘What? Why? What did I do to you?’ The laugh is short and cuts like a blade. 

‘I’ll tell you what you did. You killed me first.’”

This interaction between an unnamed woman and her aggressor takes place in the opening scene of the book, in which the woman discovers that she has been trapped inside a blazing bonfire. The scene is significant because it establishes the novel’s central revenge plot, and it also shows that Bonfire Night is a deeply important event. As the ensuing chapters count down to this moment, the very structure of the novel allows further tension to build.

“‘Self-love is so important, you should definitely make some time for yourself.’ Liv shoots a glance at me with a twinkle in her eye, then says to Margot, ‘It might have been a while since you had your kids, but I bet we can still get your pre-baby body back in no time.’”

Liv takes a jab at Margot, body-shaming her by implying that she is out of shape and should lose some weight. Liv baits Margot because she takes an instant dislike to her, and she also believes that her actions are in defense of Anna. However, Liv is just as cutting and underhanded in her comments toward Margot as Margot is in her comments toward Anna. Thus, the three women’s dynamic is revealed to be toxic from the very beginning of their association. The scene also shows that the women subscribe to an “eye-for-an-eye” approach to retribution.