You Killed Me First

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes descriptions of physical and emotional abuse, mental illness, suicidal ideation, and self-harm.

The title is an important recurring motif in the book. It appears twice: once in the prologue scene and later in Chapter 65, when the scene is revisited with more context. The appearance of the phrase in the opening scene of the book establishes the existence of a prior relationship between the victim in the prologue and the aggressor, casting this particular murder attempt as a form of retaliation for an unknown wrong. This framework highlights The Slippery Slope of Violence that ensues as the various characters commit violent acts in the name of revenge, survival, and mere emotional satisfaction.

Notably, the titular phrase reappears, slightly altered, in the novel’s conclusion when the voice of Margot inside Anna’s mind opines that she should have killed Anna first, on that day so long ago when Anna’s parents died. Margot’s voice muses that if she had known how things would turn out, she would have unhesitatingly killed Anna the moment she laid eyes on her. The complete lack of remorse in the disembodied voice’s