Applegate recalls the first time she visited Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, an iconic movie theater in Hollywood, California. It was 1977, and she was about to see Star Wars with her mother, Nancy Priddy. She recalls asking Nancy about the stars on the Walk of Fame, impressed that they lasted forever. It became her new goal to someday get a star of her own. Applegate reflects on her childhood in the Laurel Canyon neighborhood and describes the atmosphere and social climate there during the 1970s.

Applegate recounts her mother’s story, beginning with her life in South Bend, Indiana. From Indiana, Nancy relocated to New York City’s Greenwich Village, where she began working as a backup singer on notable albums. Nancy was also beginning her solo career when she started dating Bob Applegate. They fell in love and relocated to Los Angeles’s Laurel Canyon, which was then a hippie enclave that was home to numerous folk and rock musicians. In 1971, Nancy got pregnant with Applegate, naming her after the girl in the Andrew Wyeth painting Christina’s World. Applegate reflects on the prescient nature of this choice because Anna Christina Olson (the subject of Wyeth’s painting) had “some kind of degenerative muscle condition” and “always refused a wheelchair, choosing instead to crawl” (21).

Applegate describes an album that her father made for her in the 1970s. She keeps it on her nightstand now. It includes photos and letters that her father wrote to her, some of which she excerpts in the text.

Not long after Christina’s birth, however, Bob abandoned the family. Applegate muses on how he could do this, disbelieving his accusations of infidelity against Nancy. He raced into a new relationship and soon started another family.

Applegate considers the hardships that her mother faced after Bob left. She reflects on her mother’s music, which was often dismissed as too sad. Applegate asserts that she is like her mother: She has lived a hard life but can still see the world in a positive light. Nancy indeed had trouble supporting Applegate and maintaining her own health after Bob left, but they enjoyed many good times despite these difficulties.

Applegate describes and reflects on an old photo she recently found. It depicts Nancy’s ex Stephen Stills (a singer-songwriter who was part of the group Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young); Bob’s father, Paul Applegate, and stepmother, Olive Applegate; Nancy; a man in glasses; and baby Applegate herself. She tries to make sense of the photo and what was going on at the time.

The man in glasses is Joe Lala, a musician who did percussion for a litany of well-known bands. Because Lala died in 2014, Applegate feels comfortable describing his true impact on her and Nancy. He was in their life “from the time [Applegate] was three years old until [she] was seven” (33). Although he was remembered well after his death, Applegate asserts that he was an abusive person with drug and alcohol addictions that contributed to his abusive behavior.

Not long after he came into Nancy’s life, he introduced her to heroin. Nancy had terrible insomnia because of her anxiety, and the heroin helped her sleep. Despite Nancy’s addiction, Applegate asserts that she always felt safe with her mother. While she empathizes with her mother’s experience—given all she was facing and would overcome—Applegate does not empathize with Lala.

Applegate remembers difficult episodes from her early childhood. Because Nancy had no support, she would leave Applegate with girls in the neighborhood. Meant to take care of her, these girls sexually abused Applegate. She describes the abuse, noting how uncomfortable it is to mention here. She attributes this early abuse to much of her discomfort around physical touch for years to come. She cites studies suggesting that women who experience sexual, physical, and emotional abuse have a higher likelihood of developing MS.

Meanwhile, at home, Lala became physically abusive toward Nancy and Applegate. She recalls one incident where she tried defending Nancy against Lala, who then turned on Applegate and fled. Afterward, Applegate stayed by an unconscious Nancy’s side, waiting for her to wake up.

Applegate recalls the many instances of abuse, violence, and drug use she witnessed as a child. She even remembers a babysitter stealing money that she had earned from appearing in ads. She has worked her entire life, stopping only recently. When she was growing up, Applegate’s money was all her mother had. Nancy also relied on Lala, enduring his abuse because she was otherwise alone. Finally, when Applegate was seven, Lala left, claiming that Nancy was “unhinged.” He even called Bob to report Nancy for being unfit to care for Applegate. One day, Bob took Applegate to his house without informing Nancy. Nancy ran after them, and an altercation ensued at Bob’s house; however, Nancy ended up leaving without Applegate. Convinced that she’d never see her daughter again, she attempted suicide. Applegate reflects on these experiences and how they have impacted her since.

Applegate continues to reflect on Nancy and Lala’s relationship. She remembers how upset she was when Nancy informed her that she was going to reach out to Lala after learning that he’d been diagnosed with cancer. However, she later came to understand why Nancy did this. She reflects on cycles of abuse and how difficult it is to break these patterns.

Applegate returns to the events of her childhood. While she was with Bob, Nancy stopped using drugs, undergoing heroin withdrawal in her bathroom alone. Applegate reflects on Nancy’s strength, determination, and love for her. She recalls all the wonderful times they had together and how safe she always felt with Nancy. Even still, they have a complicated relationship. Applegate describes her mother’s addiction to Valium and the many pills she gave Applegate for anxiety and weight loss as she was growing up. Applegate sometimes feels angry about the things Nancy exposed her to—including drug use and sex. She and Nancy have discussed these issues over the years. Applegate has had to accept Nancy’s explanation that she didn’t understand the psychological consequences of these experiences for a child; Applegate reflects on her mother’s innocent childhood and long-time naivete.

Applegate shifts to the 1980s, describing her adolescence. Growing up, she loved the British new wave band Duran Duran and was especially infatuated with the band’s bass guitarist, John Taylor. She also loved her life in Laurel Canyon, believing it to be a magical place. She describes her childhood friends and their parallel experiences. Nancy got her involved in acting and dancing, stressing the therapeutic benefits of dance, which Applegate has found to be true ever since.

Applegate recounts her trips to South Bend to see her maternal grandmother over the years. She describes feeling safe in her grandmother’s home and contrasts this bucolic environment with the chaos and violence of Los Angeles in the 1970s and 1980s. Applegate describes the traumatic impact of the “Wonderland Murders”—in which four people allegedly involved in the cocaine trade were killed in a house on Laurel Canyon’s Wonderland Avenue. Because of the times and place she grew up in, Applegate was fascinated by the murders. Years later, she’d get the opportunity to star in a drama about the event.