Your Fault

The figure eight knot tattoo is a complex symbol that represents the transformation of trauma into a vow of eternal love, embodying both the characters’ painful pasts and their hopes for a shared future. Initially, the knot is an emblem of the inescapable and controlling bond Noah had with her father. In a flashback, he ties a figure eight knot for her, calling it “our tie, so strong that no one will ever break it” (140). In this context, the knot symbolizes a permanent, suffocating connection rooted in abuse and fear. The figure eight, often associated with infinity, is twisted into a mark of unending trauma, a promise that she will never be free from his influence. It is a brand of ownership that directly informs the theme of the lingering scars of past trauma.

However, by choosing to get a matching figure eight tattoo with Nick, Noah attempts to reclaim and redefine this powerful symbol. The shared tattoo transforms the knot from a marker of paternal control into an emblem of their romantic bond, representing their belief in a love that is “forever.” This act of reclamation is central to their codependent relationship, as they try to build a future by literally inscribing a new meaning onto the wounds of the past. For Nick, the tattoo is a way to make their connection permanent, as he thinks, “[Y]ou’re the one who wrote them there” after Noah draws on him (326). The symbol’s dual meaning highlights the central conflict of their relationship: the struggle to build a healthy, independent love while being inextricably tied to their respective histories of damage and control.

The recurring motif of illegal street racing represents the transgressive, high-stakes world of adrenaline and danger that defines Nick and Noah’s relationship. This illicit activity is not merely a backdrop but the primary engine for the novel’s external conflicts and a manifestation of the characters’ internal turmoil. For Nick, racing is a compulsive escape, a way to channel the anger and lack of control stemming from his own past trauma. He admits, “I told myself I was doing this for Lion, but I was doing it for myself, too. I wanted to do it; I even needed to” (204). This confession reveals that racing is an addiction, a return to a destructive version of himself that he has promised Noah he would leave behind. His repeated involvement in this world fuels the lies and secrecy that erode their trust, directly connecting the motif to the theme of The Destructive Cycle of Jealousy and Control.

The danger of street racing also serves to intensify Noah and Nick’s codependent bond, pulling Noah into its destructive orbit. When she learns Nick is racing again, she insists on joining him, declaring, “If he was racing, I would, too. If he put himself in danger, so would I” (211). Her decision highlights how their relationship thrives on chaos and a shared sense of rebellion against authority and safety. The races become the arena where their loyalty is tested and their worst impulses are unleashed, making the motif a perfect symbol for their passionate but volatile connection, which constantly blurs the line between love and self-destruction.